Darcy Lynn-Bach aka the dabbing gran//D8//FIN

Name: Darcy Lynn-Bach

Age: 71

Gender: female

District: 8

MEET THE DABBING GRAN

Personality:

Hi there, folks, you are amazing and I love you. Why? Because I have been taught that absolutely everyone deserves to be loved. Even those who empty the fridge at night or those who leave dirty socks lying all over the house, like my husband used to do. I spend all my life loving everybody and I have been trying my best to pass down this superpower to my children and grandchildren.

Yes, I have grandchildren already. Tons of them. Every child of mine is married already and has at least three children. However, I don’t feel like I am seventy and something. I am still very much alive, because all that love is what keeps me young and strong. If you think I am kidding, check it out yourself. Love is like a fountain of youth from my mother’s fairy tales. People who don’t grok it are damn sods.

I enjoy playing with my grandchildren or just running around the house with them. I love spending time with them. And you may never believe what I did once - I taught one of my grandchildren to read. Am was always a bright kiddo, but this was unexpected. No one would ever think that I was capable of reading, let alone teaching. I wasn’t a very nerdy student back in the good old days when I still went to school, because I had to help my mother with the household a lot.

History:

One day I was born. It was a damn good sunny day, as my mother used to say. And on this damn good sunny day I couldn’t think yet, or couldn’t remember things or both, I guess, because I don’t have a single memory of it. Bummer. I wish I could tell my children and grandchildren about how I was born. It would make a great bedtime story.

I grew up to become a barmy lass. When I wasn’t cooking in our kitchen or buying groceries, I was running around like mad, climbing every roof, tree or fence I could find and pulling pranks on the Peacekeepers. Once I came up to a peacekeeper dude with a damn crazy grin on my face and asked him for a

bottle of whiskey. I was only five, so he was damn shook. When I was eight, I ate a large piece of chalk to win a bet.

I was growing so fast that I didn’t notice how I turned eighteen. And one day some bloke came up to me and said: “ Hey Lynn, I am your neighbour Travis Bach and I want to marry you.” So I looked at him and said “I will, mate, if you are not daft.” He said he wasn’t, so we got married. And he indeed turned out to be a fine lad. Working like crazy all the time and always telling me to stop calling him “mate”. We had a damn good time living together. Fifty and something years, during which I was wrecking the kitchen, giving birth like crazy (four children popped out of my belly one after one) and working.

About the kitchen: I can only make a mess there. My dude Travis was damn sad about it, but instead of giving me a hard time he helped me cook. We rocked the cooking together and I was glad he knew a thing or two about making meals. He would make a good cook if he had time to learn.

That life was lit. And I didn’t even notice how it went on and on. The kids grew up - three lads and one lass. They got married. And we started getting white hair. I love the white colour. It is so much better than the sorta greyish black I used to have. I have always had long hair and when it was turning white as snow, it was damn … what was the word? Yes, gorgeous.

See? I do know a few smart words. I learnt them from Travis who always used to speak a fancy language. That slang of his kinda freaked me out, but I liked that I had such a damn clever husband. He was trying to teach me to talk like that, but I could never nail it.

Both I and my husband retired when we were fifty seven years old. In two years Travis died. And damn, I had never been so shook in my life. I was sitting by his side until he was buried and kept saying “Why did you not wait for me, Travis, mate? Was it because I never stopped calling you “mate”? It will be boring without you here, buddy! Damn boring, bruh.”

Then one of my children, Serena, hugged me and said: “Just chill mom. Don’t be freaked out, you have a damn ton of us and we love you.” After that, I stopped being shook and hugged her too. And that felt so damn good that I didn’t mind living without Travis. So I said: “I am chill, fam. And you made my day. Thanks.”

Now I live with Serena’s brother Aaron and his children. He waited so long to have children, that they are all still little, even though he is my oldest son and he married early. Serena’s children are pregnant already and Aaron’s smallest kid is still ten years old. I think it is damn unfair to have a favourite grandchild, but my son and his wife think I do have one. It is Amberle or Am, who is twelve years old. She is just as damn crazy as I was in my early teens, but a lot smarter than me. Sometimes I think I can see that brain of hers through her sorta grey, kinda green (or kinda grey, sorta green) eyes and I remember my dude Travis who also had this look like he knew something I did not.

That lass loves me, too. Her first word was “Lit”. I was talking to her all the time, so it was damn obvious why she chose to say that first. How could her life not be lit with gran around. Her mom wasn’t very happy, though. She is a fine lass, but also smart like my guy Travis, so she wanted to teach the kiddo her slang first. So she took the kid and taught her to say “Mama”. That is a damn boring first word, if you ask me, but whatever. Mommy knows best. I got the kid back when she turned two years old anyways.

Appearance:

“In the meantime”, as Travis used to say, I got more white hair, so now I look like a damn snowy mount in winter. My nose is still looking like a small potato. My eyes are still brown as chocolate which I have never eaten in my whole life. My teeth are still white and even and they are all in their place.

And I have such a damn lot of wrinkles… They are everywhere. It is like I am getting smaller inside my own skin and eventually it will fall off, like a dress that is too big. That is lit. Also I still wear earrings all the time (I pierced my ears in the school backyard behind some bush when I was thirteen). Sometimes I put on a necklace or a bracelet. I like that kinda stuff, because it is lit.