holding your tongue { steelhart

F R A N C E S --

"Shut up!" 

I can feel my heart in my throat, desperately grabbing at pills like I'm an addict, we're both scrambled to our feet and it's an awkward position but I'm not going down without hitting up some poor people, "unless you want to get caught-" I've gotta do something good. I can't go to prison a shitty person, that's terrible karma, I didn't live through six goddamn funerals to die a worse person- I squint at her. 

"And I am not going to jail for your ass."

She takes me into the alley way, stuffing last second bottles into the bag and holy shit, if this is prison I might just have to do more crimes. Have you ever seen somebody so beautiful you accidentally just full on die, stuck to this girl, her arms around me- "holy shit I know you," staring at her face. Something looks different, either it's my heavy breathing or the alley way darkness, foot steps echoing down the alley with three a.m. chaos, "you're the hot girl." This is terrible take me back, I want to go to prison. 

She probably fucking hates me. 

God, how does this keep happening, please don't let this be her- take me now, she probably thinks I've lost more than just my mind, "I-" I should be better at this. Back when I was a badass, this didn't happen, "I don't do this often," shut up. Forgot I was a thief, the back of my neck red, held in her arms and I'm so fucking stupid. Heart beating to a head ache, fuck me.

fuckin fuck me up-

What is she even doing here?

"Good thing you caught me, huh copper?" God, this is terrible.

Just arrest me at this point, please.

F R A N C E S --

I don't know if I'm grateful that it's her or not; half of me is wishing I were dead right now. Jokingly, god I can't risk being like that again. My mothers are tired of having heart attacks based off of me, I know, I know. And for a split second I trick myself into forgetting I'm in her arms, this feels weird, like I'm trespassing and sleeping in somebody else's house. I'd pay for this shit, damn. "Yeah, luckily for you," oh god her breath smells good, I hold my lips tighter, "or I'd bet you'd be in a Peacekeeper car in the way to prison." Worse of two evils huh? "Is being stuck with you supposed to be better?" 

"And my name is Syren, if you forgot," oh god, oh god how'd I forgot that name. 

If I weren't such a fuckboy I'd say I never stopped thinking of her, but I guess there's been a lot going on in my life. Picturing the name Syren tattoo'd on my wrist, that'd be nice -- just for a reminder. Guess we better get married so I have her last name attached at all times, then I wouldn't be able to forget haha, "but I remember your name, Frances." Holy shit I'm so gay, oh god, physically melting through her arms onto the ground, I wish she never said that; oh god why does she remember me. Now she has to marry me, I'm too weak for this. 

"In my defense, it's hard to forget the girl who was screaming at a lake." Cheeks hot enough to burn me alive, I don't want her to remember that what the fuck- "it's something you don't see every day." Bag hitting the ground and I don't get why she's still holding onto me but hell if I'm saying anything, this? This has got to be good karma, pay back for all the shit I had to deal with probably, wide eyes, trying to memorize her entire face shape. Syren, why is she everywhere when I least need her. 

"We've gotta stop meeting like this," god why can't I just be serious. Fast inhale, panic in my finger tips and I still don't think I'm set on not being arrested instead. Maybe I just fucking died when I tripped and this is afterlife, or torture, but hey, I'm taking it. 

"I promise I don't do this often."

F R A N C E S --

"Being stuck with me is definitely better than rotting in a prison cell," oh mommy. I zone out a little, passive aggressive sub text, this is what I get for being an asshole in all honesty. "But if you'd rather I let them catch you, then by all means, get up and walk away," nope, my preference is being caught by Syren only- I'd like that more.

"I promise I don't do this often."

"I totally believe you."

"On second tho-" she smacks her hand over my mouth, finger popping my front tooth and I'm more confused than anything else. No second thoughts, gotcha, I'm more of a gut intuition type of gal anyways. Hiding behind alleyway dumpsters, I hear the whispers, assholes chasing me from the drug store; when did I get so fucking weird? I used to just smoke, now I'm out getting kidnapped by alleyway girls and I can't tell if that's better or worse. I think Lucrezia would have liked her. It's at least relaxing, just existing next to her; she isn't a complete stranger. I don't really know if I'd care if she wasn't. 

"Sorry about that." 

Smiling, sheepish, just two girls, close corner in an alleyway that smells like garbage, "okay, so I like you more than peacekeepers, I really do." We can't just stay here though, if the priority is not getting arrested, and so far we're succeeding in one half of that. I think I'd like to keep that up.

"But if we stay in your alleyway home all night I'll have to jump ship and get arrested." 

F R A N C E S --

"I know, I know," okay good, she doesn't hate shit jokes. I don't think she'd stuck around this long if she didn't, "I live a few blocks from here, but we've got to be careful." Night one and she's taking me home, I don't know if that's a good sign or not. I'd volunteer the Eckhart estate, but now I'm interested, can you blame me? "We should go to my house in case they identify you and figure out where you live-" oh, that's pretty smart. 

I should really learn how to get away with being a criminal. 

"My parents are gone for a few days visiting family on the other side of the district, so there shouldn't be a problem," I hold my breathe. I'd flirt, it's the perfect opening for it, but she'd probably throw me in prison before I finished the sentence. Home alone, I don't know if that's good or not, her arms no longer wrapped around me and I'm already home sick. God, I'm so gay; she hesitates looking at the pill bag. I think she trusts me to some extent, watching her hide it in her own grocery bags, I don't completely understand. 

Why'd she throw it all for me? Maybe she's just smarter, I don't question that. 

It's all without question too, "let's go then, unless you'd prefer prison." I think I trust her too, a lot more than the other way; she shouldn't trust me based on everything. Sea screamers, shoplifting, dropping myself -- why should she, "silver lining, we'd have a lot of bonding time." Quick jokes, it's all I'm really good for. I'd have myself arrested by now, huh? 

"We should probably circle around?" At least add something here, "they might be waiting on that street."