i feel pretty unpretty | {viola} blitz

v i o l a

I can’t believe that it’s been almost two years.

Two years since Lorenzo left, two years since I was left alone, two years since the Ruined family name was tarnished once again. I hate how fitting our surname is; a permanent reminder that we have tried and that we have failed, not once, but twice. They say that the third time is the charm but charm is hard to come by in Five. I can only pray for the best but prepare myself for the worst–next time, it might be Castle, it could be me.

It is like they are pulling us apart. Petal by petal until there is nothing left to pick. No one is reciting ‘love me’ or ‘love me not’, it’s a darker tale where we wait for death’s rain to tear us apart. Kicking and screaming, we’ll try to stay together but it is harder when there are less hands to hold. Weak links begin to show, my hands are cold and dry and sometimes, I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on for.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just let go?

I shake my head. I can’t let go. Pixie wouldn’t want me to – there was a reason I confronted Katelyn Persimmon all those years ago and it was because her name has to go down in history. It is the least anyone can do; if she can’t live then her memory will. And I’ll say the same for Lorenzo. Through the daylight and moonlight, I’ll sow the seeds of the past and wait for them to grow alongside me.

I’ll have the memories, that way, of the good times. The good ol’ times where we only worried about what sort of green vegetable we would have for dinner.

It’s been years.