ensley {three} fin

ensley {three} fin Sept 17, 2017 16:48:00 GMT -5

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Post by ♛ scandal on Sept 17, 2017 16:48:00 GMT -5

ensley

Darkness.

That's all I see.

A couple seconds ago, I saw my house explode. I was right there. Looking right at the house, then boom.

A flash of white, red, yellow, and orange suddenly engulfs the area around my house. The blast throws me back, my head hitting the concrete ground.

It's just a dream, Ensley.

Crack.

What is that noise?

The crackling of fire made alarms go off in my head.

I thought it was a dream.

It wasn't.

I see my house, ablaze, a ruin of brick and wood, with fire covering almost every inch of the ground.

My parents were in there. There is no doubt in my mind that they are gone now. They were such good parents too.

Memories of them flash by in my head.

{}

I was being born. My parents told me about the day I was born. They said it was the best day of their life. They said I came out rather easily, but it took a couple hours. I was 8 pounds, 3 ounces when born. I was quite a chunky babe.

Then the time when I dropped a rock on my cousin's face. I remember this day. My parents got mad at me, I was only 5. It was a big rock, and then bam! It was on his face. He was bleeding on his nose. He cried, while I laughed. I didn't know what I had done. I thought it was funny as a toddler. My parents scolded me, and yelled at me, and then I started crying.

It was my first reaping. They assured me I wasn't going to get picked. They were right, but I cried for the one's who did. I jumped in their arms after it was over, crying into their shoulders. They didn't want me to watch the games, but I did. I watched from the bottom of the stairs. The deaths still haunt my memory.

{}

I tried to look through the rubble of the explosion. But I realized something as I opened me eyes.

I couldn't see.

{}

It's been 4 years since the explosion that killed my parents. The explosion that has left me permanently blind.

I used to be able to tell if people pitied me, as I could see it in their eyes. Now I can barely seen anything.

I realized things as I grew up. People has common misconceptions about blind people. People asked me what I saw. Many of them thought all I saw was a black void.

I did see black, but I had some light perception. When a certain amount of light is displayed by the sun, I can make out objects. During solar eclipses, I can see the sun without special glasses. If my parents were still here, we couldn't have afforded them anyway.

I still have some of the burn scars from the explosion. My right arm still has the traces of the explosion. It will never go away unless I miraculously get to have a surgery in the capitol. It has faded some, but only that surgery in the capitol will totally remove the scar, like it never existed.

I don't want to forget.

{}

I couldn't describe how I looked now. After four years of not being able to see what I look like, I end forgetting what I looked like before I went blind.

I started to live with my aunt and uncle with their 4 children a couple days after my parents died. My aunt has updated me on how I look. Like when she cuts my hair, or when she gets me new clothes.

She says my hair is relatively the same, but a little longer, stopping at the beginning of my shoulders, still the same jet-black color it was when I lost the ability to see.

My body has become thinner, that is the only thing I have noticed without having people tell me. I could literally feel myself become thinner. I could feel my ribs easier and easier. I haven't ate much after the explosion. I just haven't felt like eating, for four years.

I don't want to know what my face looks like. It just reminds me of my parents. I probably look the same as I did when the explosion occurred, but with a burned arm. If I have gotten to look in the mirror one last time before I went blind, I would have told myself that I loved the way I looked, no matter the flaws I had.