Fear Is Overpowering [Harbinger one-shot]

Her tiny hand wraps around my finger as I carefully stuff a piece of paper into my pocket. It's one of the best feelings in the world, but it comes with memories I can't seem to wash away. Vera was born during a terrible storm in my life, yet I don't push her away. She brings joy into my life. Seeing her always puts a smile on my face because she's so young and innocent. Part of me feels bad for leaving Navya alone with the triplets, but I guess she's used to it. Every single year she stays behind with them taking care of them, and it's my turn. Yet I walk through this grassy field with my eldest daughter.

She doesn't say a word before releasing my finger and running away. I only tell her to not venture too. The fence isn't far away, and sometimes I yearn for the chance to escape. To take my family away. I survived the games, I'm sure I can survive in whatever is out there. I know how to take care of myself, and my families safety is much more important than anything else in the world. I'm so afraid of what will happen. Vera is four, but she's growing so much. A heavy sigh leaves my lips as I slowly lower myself onto the ground drawing my knees to my chest before resting a hand on the artificial leg I've learned to call my own.

I just don't know what to say. How can I convince my family to follow me? How can I convince Navya to leave behind the comforts of our home? My eyes turn to Vera, and she's so naïve along with the my other children. They don't worry about food or shelter. They don't worry about where they'll sleep. The reaping probably doesn't even enter their mind. I can't remember those days. I can't remember anything about them because my time has come and gone. I've fought through the games. I killed people so I could have a life outside the arena. But why? Why live if everyone I love is in danger?

Vera runs back to my side holding a flower in her hand offering it to me. I take it from her hand, and she runs off again dancing around. I remove the wadded up sheet of paper from my pocket. I'll use it to put my thoughts down. I'll explain to Navya everything I'm planning on doing. I'll tell her what I want to do, and that she shouldn't worry because I have a plan. I always have a plan. The pen rests against the paper, and soon I'm scribbling words I hope she can read.

Navya, I think it's time we leave district eleven. I can not live each year in fear as my children grow older. With each passing year, the fear that the Capitol will get them increases. I've lost too much already. I do not want to see the games claim my children.

Once I'm finished, I fold it away inserting it back into the confides of my pocket. I turn towards Vera who's sitting beside me. Carefully pushing myself into a standing position, I offer her my hand. We need to get back home before my lovely wife begins to worry. I owe her a night off, and if she can get some sleep, then maybe it'll all be worth it. Tomorrow I'll try to cook the dinner even if it turns out bad.