Ms/Mr Capitol Pageant - Interview

The black curtain flips back, revealing the svelte figure of Ex Oh Van Der Woodsen. She flashes a bright smile at the audience, dyed white teeth blaring bright against purple lipstick. Before she sits, she extends a hand to the host, shakes, and then settles herself on the couch.

"Hi, so good to be here," she says perfunctorily. Ankles crossed, she adjusts her blazer so that the full range of her cleavage can be picked up by the cameras. "Let's do this!"

"If you weren't participating in this pagent, what would you be doing with your time instead?



She takes in a deep, cleansing breath before tackling the question. She looks almost serene, zen. "Volunteering in a soup kitchen, raising money for orphans, planting new trees in the Executive Park... Nah, I'm just kidding. You all know me! I'd be prone on an exotic beach, sipping artisan water and planning my next take-down tweet." Ex Oh blows threes kisses at the audience and then marks one on an invisible tablet. "Next!"

"What is your edge over the other candidates?"



She laughs, a sing-song melody. "Are you serious?" It takes her a moment to assess him. Yes, somehow, he is. Ex Oh leans forward, letting one arm drape over the edge of the couch while the other rests beneath her chin in thought. "It's not that I want to win more than anyone else. It's just that I'm going to, you know? No, maybe you don't know. I don't know how to explain it. I just am... the best."

Crickets. She flips her hair over her shoulder, thinks about discarding the blazer entirely. "But who cares about the other candidates, right? Let's talk more about me. What do you mean the interviews over? I've got a lot more to say!" She reaches for her phone. "Do you want to see how many followers I have on twitter??"

Ex Oh waves her phone at the audience as security drags her away. "Follow me, bitches!"

One backward glance at the mirror to make sure everything got her approval.

Not a hair out of place. Makeup done precisely, hours on end to make it perfect. A smirk pressed across her lips, and just one more coat of lip gloss and she was ready to go. You wouldn't be able to find a single thing that was wrong, no matter how hard you tried.

"And up next we have the beautiful Adalie!"

My feet carry me across the stage ever so gracefully, the train of my dress flowing behind me. Head held high, white teeth gleaming, and hand waving like a princess, like a winner. How convenient.

"Oh thank you thank you,"

The words flow eloquently from my lips, just as easily as a river flows downstream. I had been practicing my speech for weeks now, knowing this would be a major portion of the competition. And winners are always prepared.

"So tell us Adalie, what's your favorite date and why?

Even with preparation the best of us can be stumped, and this one made me think. Of all the question I had prepared for this was certainly not one of them. But my coach always taught me to just answer with a smile on my face and they'll believe anything. So I brought out the teeth and smiled the whole time.

"Well you see, I think I'd have to go with April 12th, because it's not too hot, but it's also not too cold. Am I right guys?"

Smile still plastered across my face I look to the audience, getting cheers of approval. I've always been taught fake it til you make it. Well, I'm already here.

"That's a...wonderful answer! And our final question, If you could switch places with anyone in Panem, who would it be and why?

An airy laugh escapes my lips, now this one I was prepared for.

"That's an easy, you obviously! And why? I mean come on, just look at you! So young and youthful, you can't be a day over twenty. And this job? A-ma-zing! I would die to be in your shoes,"

Another smile and a wink. Flattery gets you everywhere in this world. He gives a slight chuckle.

"Well, you're not wrong. But unfortunately we're out of time because I would love the chance to hear more about my youthfulness. Thank you so much Ms. Adalie!"

I rise from my chair and stretches out my hand gently.

"Oh it's a pleasure as always! My people will be in touch with your people, m'kay?"

The cheer of the crowd roars as I walk off stage, blowing kisses and both hands waving to the crowd.

That right there is the sound of a winner.