Charisma Duke - D3 - FIN | Hunger Games: The RPG

ryan Advertiser 2,907 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Apr 23, 2024 16:21:04 GMT -5 over the moon, where all the wild things are	Charisma Duke - D3 - FIN Feb 17, 2018 5:03:13 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ryan on Feb 17, 2018 5:03:13 GMT -5 Charisma Duke District 3 Alone Tori Kelly Eighteen
	Last Edit: Feb 21, 2018 15:23:57 GMT -5 by ryan

ryan
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over the moon, where all the wild things are

Charisma Duke - D3 - FIN Feb 21, 2018 10:13:54 GMT -5

Quote

Post by ryan on Feb 21, 2018 10:13:54 GMT -5

Charisma Duke

and if your out there

I swear ill be good to you

but im done looking

You didn’t know how to approach people because they all scared you. Sometimes you would try to run away from any situation that involved people. For all intents and purposes, you thought that people sucked. That everyone who tried to come into contact with you had some sort of alternative to why they were talking to you. You were smart, and you could pick up on things that most people thought they concealed well. Your parents wished you would get out there more and do things that were out of the box. They wished you would get up from the desk that you sat at and go see the world. Sure, you couldn’t leave three, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t experience three the way they did. They saw the world as a beautiful place, but you saw it as a prison because of the ideas that you wanted to share but having no one to listen to them.

You were used to being alone, because people thought you were weird. There were days where you would talk to yourself because of course, you were the most interesting person you know. When people would ask you questions, you would look at them and walk away because you didn’t want to waste your brain power on pleasantries. Being pleasant was the last thing you wanted to be caught doing because that gave people an invitation to the way you thought about things. Everything you thought about was precious to you, like gems that you wanted to hide away until you could figure out how to mine them. Everyone else was the enemy sometimes, and when people tried to help you in your plights, you would look at them and redirect them to places that didn’t involve your mind.

It was always going to be hard to be lonely, but you did well on your own. You would walk around the district, seeing people who were with each other and you assumed that they were together. You didn’t envy them, you just let them be. Instead of saying something, like how much you wanted them to understand the person you were, you were fine with people not knowing things about you. You would sit by the water and look out in the distance and wonder if there was other people that lived in this world. You wanted to travel it sometimes and walk across the water. You wanted to escape a place that you had no clue about. You only knew so much, but that didn’t stop you. Your knowledge was infinite, and the capacity in your brain was larger than you actually knew. You could see the world in multicolor, and you loved every fucking second of it. You didn’t need anyone, even your parents to tell you differently.

However, you did have a twin at home that didn’t see the world the way you did. Instead, they saw the world as something that you needed to conquer together. There were days where they would try to get you out of your shell, but you told them to leave you alone. You wanted to watch the world in your vision and in no one else’s. You told your twin multiple times that they would never be the same. They weren’t even the same gender as you, and you could live with that. You hated that you didn’t have any other siblings, but that meant that you were even alone in your family. Alone was all you knew that, so you were able to compartmentalize it in a way that didn’t affect you too much. You were hot in the winters and cold in the summers, and that was the way you liked to live your life. You didn’t care how people saw you because people didn’t have to see you. They chose to see you, which is where you thought they made their first mistake. They wanted to see you. You didn’t want that. You wanted to remain invisible as long as you could cause invisible was safe and safe meant that you could think in solace. You yearned for that every day you breathed.

Some days you would sit at your desk, tinkering with plans that you had been working on for years. You would push them aside though when you thought you couldn’t do anything else with them. You hated it when you had to give up, but taking a break was the only healthy thing that would keep insanity away. You would go out for walks with a notebook close by just so you could stop and look at the world in your multicolored chrome. It shined in a way that you never thought you could explain to someone. Somedays you saw something beautiful and you tried to describe it in words that you didn’t know. When you would get frustrated, you ripped the page out of the notebook and threw it on the ground, crushing it with the sole of the shoe that covered your small feet. You thought about how the world was way too large for one person to traverse, and as much as you wanted to travel the world, you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You never would leave the gates of three because at the end of the day, it was safe. It was home. As much as you hated to admit it, you had a life here.

And it was one that you could cherish for the time being, because there wasn’t anyone trying to take you away from it. When you would go into town, you realized that being alone was the only thing that you knew. You made it work though, because you weren’t going to let anyone walk all over you the way people wanted too. You wanted to tell everyone about how much you enjoyed being alone. How much you could rely on yourself. How much you wanted people to hear you laud about how much strength you had. However, when you would sit down and try to address other people, you didn’t know how. You had no solid foundation to walk on. If you tried, you would sink to the ground in a hell storm that you created in your mind. You would start something and then you would throw whatever you were working on into the fire just so no one could read what you were working on. You didn’t tell a soul because it was no one’s business but your own. You would tell people that you didn’t care about them just so you knew that no one would come looking for you when you were missing for days. You wanted nothing to do with anyone while you thought about how you were going to express your feelings.

So you sat at your desk and thought about how much you had no one. That is when you realized that was the subject of your desires. No one. So you started, Dear No one, and then wrote about how much you saw the world in different spectrums. Where people saw green, you saw blue. Where people said, something was full, you saw the emptiness. Where people told you that you couldn’t do something, you explained to them that anything was possible if you thought about it hard enough. You were able to articulate things that people never thought were possible. You told people about how much you hated them. But then words later, you told them that you loved them because they made it easier for you to separate yourself from them. You signed it with your name Charisma, which you always found funny because you lacked that certain trait. You didn’t have Charisma. You didn’t have charm. You were unique though. That was the one thing that you could cling on too still.

Charisma Duke, you hated your name. But you didn’t hate your life. You loved your life enough to tell people about it. You might have been alone in your mind, but you did have people that you can rely on. You just had to be strong enough to show them.

You took that letter and threw it in the fire.

Dear No One.

You didn’t need to know.

because when the time is right
youll be here
but for now, dear no one

Thanks! ryan

ryan Advertiser 2,907 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Apr 23, 2024 16:21:04 GMT -5 over the moon, where all the wild things are	Charisma Duke - D3 - FIN Feb 28, 2018 7:49:59 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ryan on Feb 28, 2018 7:49:59 GMT -5 bump for being a week >.>

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen Apr 23, 2024 20:05:59 GMT -5	Charisma Duke - D3 - FIN Feb 28, 2018 18:20:36 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2018 18:20:36 GMT -5 "You would tell people that you didn’t care about them just so you knew that no one would come looking for you when you were missing for days." jfklasda this entire bio is a Scorpio mood