therapy for a broken friendship | teddy&parson [blitzish]

gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch
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call me jaded

therapy for a broken friendship | teddy&parson [blitzish] May 19, 2018 14:40:32 GMT -5

Post by gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch on May 19, 2018 14:40:32 GMT -5

During the week of the games, these hospital corridors were never empty. Existence continues. Meandering the sick to their treatment or the dead to the morgue, a simple existence but like these halls, it is never ending. Every turn there is another episode, something to brighten my day or switch all the lights off. Chatter of the games has subsided, it is all about the victory tour that will be joining the District. It won’t be long until the seventy-eighth is forgotten and the talk of epidemics and lack of funds will be floating through these hallways.

My thirteenth job of the day, simple enough, move a child from the urgent treatment room to the children’s ward. Except talk of a visitor in that very room is urging me to pass the job onto another. My eyes have met with his in crowds before, but we won’t be as close as what we are going to be. A groaning boy with a bandage wrapped around his head, childhood clumsiness from following from a step, concussion is the diagnosis. There is going to be a day where I look down at the bed I am pushing, and it will be Jacob’s face that I see. My own fault for being his source of destruction, if the lost friend was to ever find out about our trail…

The double doors swing open and there is a clear small gathering around one of the beds, one glance and it confirms my sighting of Teddy Ursa. I carry on with my job, helping the other porter place the boy onto the bed.

I look again.

He is looking too.

Shit, I will have to go to him.

Hand gestures to the other porter state that I am staying here another couple of minutes, he nods and pulls the transportation bed away. He has heard my rants about this old friend, he’ll know my reasons…

I take small steps towards Teddy, purposely prolonging the journey to him as a mixture of words compile in my head. ”It has been a long time…” My eyes drop from his to the book in his hand and to the child laying in the bed. ”Good to see that you are finally doing some good for the community…” It is hard to hold back the sarcasm, there will be no making amends today.

Tom
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therapy for a broken friendship | teddy&parson [blitzish] Jun 30, 2018 22:32:22 GMT -5

Post by Tom on Jun 30, 2018 22:32:22 GMT -5

☾

Pain flutters to life in his stomach.

It's not the normal pain of an open wound or blood that hits his stomach, but it's a mental pain. A hurt for the stuff that he's missed throughout life. Eyes have met once before in crowded streets and crowded hospital rooms that he visits. Every time he can see them, there's that hurt in his chest. Grown up boys who try to play men with consistent lives. Teddy's shaking in his mind, but he only stays pale as he reads out words of a book to the child in the bed in front of him. The kid was going to make it, but wounds still hurt and if he could distract from that, he could make a difference in this moment.

Words spread in the street of children playing Teddy Ursa and Lux Pelotte with sticks like he was some warrior. A hero in a story that doesn't exist as a fantasy, but reality. He was no hero. If only everyone saw Pan's eyes as that hurt fills his chest, they would see the regrets he carries like knives stabbing his body into submission. Nothing hurts worse than someone you care about vanishing into thin air, only coming back as a monster of what he used to be.

"It has been a long time…"

Too long. An empty expanse of flickering emotions that spark up at just his voice and how much even the simplest of things have changed. Pan had been something else entirely as a kid, but this never surprised him. Working in the hospitals were District Six's life job. All he can do is close the book as the kid is already falling asleep gently from the words of this book in his hands. Eyes glancing to him, Teddy feels raw. Pan could see through him, he imagines.

"Good to see that you are finally doing some good for the community…"

Sarcasm cuts him open for the world to see. Teddy almost dares to hiss in the air the feeling of his stabbing pain in his chest. Young boys who were now men. Parson looking mature and better than he ever did. With words like ice upon his skin, Teddy tries to speak, but instead closes his mouth. Teeth clenching behind a closed jaw as he lets himself fall.

"I-I've always done good. Even when I didn't remember who I was."

Eyes meeting with Pan before he dares to fall into a depressive episode where all he can hear is the sarcasm in every single sentence.

"I-I a-am sorry for disappearing. Apologies aren't what you want, but that's all I have now."

The book is dropped to the floor now as Teddy holds himself steady, fingers splayed out on the side of his jeans remaining calm and pushing down the feeling of wanting to jump across the bed and trying to hug the old friend who made him feel so many different things. Instead he pulls his words up in truthful words.

"For what it's worth, I have missed you."

Made by gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan

gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch
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call me jaded

therapy for a broken friendship | teddy&parson [blitzish] Jul 17, 2018 13:44:14 GMT -5

Post by gamemaker ☢️ ivan korsch on Jul 17, 2018 13:44:14 GMT -5

A treasure of childhood, now a pawn to the power that we once fought. So many years of us being so close and now the divide between us is like a crater. All three of us at the edge of an earthquake, one being the unidentified epicentre and I raise my hands as it is now me. Is it the drug addict or the victor that caused this shift? Well my bet is on the one who I have my eyes locked on to right now. A so-called gift to society but he dares not even drop an update on his life with those close to him.

Such an awkward place to have this encounter, the company of the others keeps the lid on the boil but if we step out of here, I am going to let the bubbles over the flow. It is the clenched fists behind my back that is keeping it in maybe my skin is turning to a shade of red, I can feel the burning on my cheeks to be a confirmation. It is certainly not blushing anyway…

"I-I've always done good. Even when I didn't remember who I was."

The truth knocked back by some obscurity. Remember who he was? Has the Capitol really taken that much control over him? I saw a stranger’s eyes the day of his reaping, a face matured that I had not seen in so many years on that stage. I could only feel relief of the news of his survival, no pride that we had planned as youngsters if any of us stepped out with our lives. At that point he was no longer a friend to me, just an acquaintance in my memories long gone but why do I bother acknowledge him right now if that truly is the case?

"I-I a-am sorry for disappearing. Apologies aren't what you want, but that's all I have now."

Apologies are needed but they certainly are not enough. All those days of worrying, now our friend is on a loose end and I am breaking my back in a career that I never desired to hold.

"For what it's worth, I have missed you."

Those words have been delivered too late, there is no meaning behind them for me. All these pieces are too shattered to be fixed, only a clean slate can mend it but that isn’t so easily obtained.

”All what you have said makes no sense. How can you forget who you where? Have the Capitol really dumbed you that much?”

My eyes dart to the patients in the bed, twitches of the nurses as they hurry out of the room and away from our conversation. I never knew I could let out that much tension with just a few words. ”We better talk alone, I have a break in a fifteen minutes. Meet me around the back of the hospital, near the laundry door.”

Tom
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therapy for a broken friendship | teddy&parson [blitzish] Sept 17, 2018 18:25:56 GMT -5

Post by Tom on Sept 17, 2018 18:25:56 GMT -5

☾

Late words meaning nothing more than the guilt that stabs into his chest.

Almost as if Lux Pelotte were still cutting into his skin telling him how much he deserved to not be there. Teddy Ursa wasn't meant to be standing before an old memory that would have died with him in the Seventy Sixth, but he fought for them. He fought to come back and right the wrongs that he's made. A fluttering feeling of pain strikes through him as he can feel the confusion in Pan's form like words didn't reach how they were meant to. A space between the two of them that he can't reach for. The rope connecting them being severed years ago and left with nothing more than the ash of what used to be. Rebuilding this relationship with one of the people who grounded him wouldn't be easy after all of the pain he's put people through. They didn't know the truth behind it all. They didn't know the suffering loss of memories only to get visions of pain and suffering coming through the arena.

Abusive parents. Loving friends. Dead memories that weren't him anymore, but also were him at the same time. The old Theodore and the new Teddy were one in the same, but they didn't click perfectly together. A puzzle that the pieces were still missing from the box. A silence is all he can bare to carry in that moment as he listens to Pan's words flow from his tongue.

"All what you have said makes no sense. How can you forget who you where? Have the Capitol really dumbed you that much?"

How? How was still the question that couldn't be answered. An anomaly in the world that they live in. The Capitol was innocent for once when it came to Teddy Ursa, but that still sits in his stomach wrong. Forgetting himself was his own fault, but also out of his control. Ma had told him that a storm had hit him too hard and no one came looking for him. Fingers tighten in his pocket as the dropped book is forgotten. Feet want to take him forward as his body screams to just let himself go over the cliff of emotions. Eyes catch nurses exiting quickly like he could break at any moment. Like a mental breakdown of Teddy Ursa could lead to physical damage. The kid who smiled up at him was now looking away and trying to stay out of this conversation. Pan must have felt it too as his words came out afterwards.

"We better talk alone, I have a break in a fifteen minutes. Meet me around the back of the hospital, near the laundry door."

Silence fills the air as Teddy watches silently. Words wanting to come forward, but he can't let himself speak like before. Hands stay at his sides as he nods his head and retrieves the book from the floor. Feet take him out of the room and towards the cold chill of outside behind the back of the hospital waiting for his friend.

Outside of the hospital, his stomach feels less like it's gonna spill the contents out in nerves, but instead his throat grows tight with words that don't dare come out. A deep breath as he catches his nerves and holds himself steady. A woman walks past with a confused look at him like she knew who he was, but letting things slide. Alone in the quiet buzz of the district and the lights of the hospital illuminating the area, there's a quiet and peacefulness that Teddy can bask in even for just a moment. Words slip out in a mumble from his lips now.

"H-How do I tell someone that hey I lost my memories from an injury? It's not like I can explain why they were gone for so long. Ma would have had an answer, but ripred, she's dead now."

Pacing back and forth on his own words, Teddy can feel the thrum of his heart that resides in his chest. The silence fills the area, until time passes slowly. Teddy doesn't look up to see who exits the building, but he stays silent mumbling words that weren't coherent to himself. Something he used to do since he was a kid and much into adulthood. A nervous habit of his to mumble under his breath everything on his head when he was alone. Overthinking was his safety net that kept him sane, even after all the trauma of the Hunger Games, this was still very much his way of dealing with stuff. A sigh falls from his throat as he glances up at the door waiting for Pan to appear.

The bubbling feeling of guilt coming back with stabs to his stomach like Ree Fer was there to try and kill him again.

Except this time, none of it was real.

Pan appears from the door and Teddy feels his breath disappear as the heart in his chest beats with guilt and longing for his friend to be back. Hands tight around a book as he gives the friend a frown and speaks up shuffling onto his good leg mostly. The phantom pain of his other leg spreading like a fire through him.

"Hey. Looks like we got a bit of catching up to do?"

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