If You Tell A Wish, It Won't Come True {Cinder Oneshot}
Jun 12, 2018 6:41:58 GMT -5
Post by kap on Jun 12, 2018 6:41:58 GMT -5
Cinder
Losing someone is difficult, or so I've been told all too many times throughout my young life of only twelve years so far. My friends and family have expressed their feelings to me when they'd lost someone, and, in a way, I suppose I used to wish that I understood them a bit better. I wasn't very close with my mother, although I wish I were, since she's gone now. I don't think about her all that much these days, and I suppose that may be the main reason that I don't understand loss all that well. Most people who have lost someone that they still think about day in and day out tend to have been relatively close with the person who passed on into the great beyond. Unfortunately, I may have to join the group of people who've lost those they care about sometimes soon. Ping has always been my closest friend, and now she may be leaving me for ever. She was selected at the reaping and I wanted to step up to take her place. She has a family who loves her and such a good life ahead of her. I, however, don't have much for caring family members, as my step-mother and step-sisters are quite cruel to me, whereas my father barely seems to notice me anymore. Ping wouldn't let me take her place, though.
It's all about honor, for Ping. Bringing honor to her family and making them proud is what she truly cares about. She doesn't want to disappoint her friends and loved ones and clearly fears failure. She also told me that the reason she shook her head 'no' at me when I was about to volunteer for her at the reaping was because she felt that it would be dishonorable to let a friend that she cared about so much to take her place and possibly die instead. I couldn't ruin the one thing that was most important to her by making her feel as if she'd done something dishonorable. No, that wasn't an option for me. I may be kind and courageous, but that didn't mean that I was going to take the place of a friend who would be potentially emotionally ruined for the rest of their life if I had done so.
Since the reaping and before the start of the Games, there have been many times that my heart and mind have filled with regret for not volunteering in place of my good friend. I'd cried to her in the Justice Building and she comforted me, when I knew that, in reality, it should have been the other way around. Ping should have had the option to cry while I comforted her instead. Clearly, however, Ping was too strong to cry in front of me in what could be our last few moments together. I was confident in Ping's survival abilities, but I still felt the worry that anyone else would when someone they cared about went into the Games.
When I returned home after the reaping on the day that it had happened, my eyes were swollen and red from crying in the District Square when her name was initially called, as well as in the Justice Building when I said my goodbyes to her. She'd told me something while I was there, however, that I'd never known before, and apparently, she hadn't known before her parents visited her, either. Her family name was Lanhua, and that would be the name she would be striving to bring honor to. She was lucky, in a way, I suppose. The fact that she was lucky wasn't because of being reaped, however. No, being reaped was never lucky for anyone, even if they wanted to get away from it all like I did.
The reason that Ping was lucky was because she knew her family name. One major thing that all of us- Moana, Belle, Ping, Merida, Punzie and the others- had in common was that none of us knew our family names. I was simply Cinder. My family hadn't told me my surname, and I suppose that there was a chance I'd never truly know it unless I was seeing them for what may have been the last time like was happening to Ping.
Did that mean I'd only know my true name when I was close to dying and my family knew that that was the case? I was sure that, had I been the one who was reaped that day, or had I volunteered in place of Ping, my father would have been the only family member that would have visited me. It's also likely that he would have told me everything that he ever wanted to say to me, as I was almost positive it would have been the last time he'd ever see me. There's no way I would have survived the Games if I had to go in there and fight.
I just wish I could be more confident that Ping would survive. I felt like a terrible friend, even thinking that there was the slightest, smallest chance of her not being able to make it out of the Hunger Games arena alive. I told her that I trusted that she was going to win the Games and come home, but I wasn't sure she believed me. Then again, I didn't even really believe myself. I was confident in her, sure, but I had no way of knowing for sure that she'd win.
At my home, despite my reddened, swollen eyes and clearly tear-streaked face, no one asked what was wrong. My father didn't seem to notice and my step-sisters smirked upon seeing the expression of sorrow that was plastered on my delicate face, my features slightly contorted. My step-mother simply told me to get to work on cleaning the house after I changed out of my ragged dress that I'd worn to the reaping. I wasn't going to argue, though, as I knew that that would only make my day, as well as the situation, much, much worse.
Therefore, I complied and got to work.
" have courage and be kind "
Notes: oneshot Words: 1,016
