There and Back [Merida Oneshot]

[attr="class","mary2"]

[attr="class","mary5"]"I love you." And now I have to go.

It takes much less time for a body to come back to the district than it takes to get to the capital. There by the next day. They don't even clean it up, they just close the box and let you know you might not want to open it. Ping wouldn't have complained. Ping would have thought she deserved it. She didn't. She deserved a lot more than the world ever gave her... a lot more than I ever gave her. I thought she would have lasted longer than she did, but I wasn't mad at her by any means. The bloodbath is such a busy part of the Games that I barely knew what had happened to her. The camera flicked from action to action. My eyes scanned back and forth looking for any hint of her to see that she was all right. And then like a jump scare she was there, flinging a knife at the boy from one. Way to go, Ping, I started to think, and didn't even have a moment to catch myself before the spear slammed into her throat. Then the camera cut away.

Just long enough to know she was gone. Bile rose into my throat. Like acid. Thump. Gone. I walked away from the square. Step. Step. A few people lowered their heads for our fallen tribute. Step. Not crying here. Step. No one can survive a spear to the throat. Step. Step. Stop hoping she made it. Step. Don't look at the screen. Step. Don't look. Don't listen. And I started walking home. I puked on the doorstep.

Now I'm here, at the Justice Building again, to meet her body for the last time. Two peacekeepers carry opposite ends of the simple white box holding our district's female tribute. Another steps out, green ribbon in hand. I remember two days ago, in that awful interview when the capitolite asked my Ping if she had a special someone, and she played to the cameras with that cute little kiss. I swallowed hard then, to stop the tears. I swallow hard now, to stop the angry voices inside of me from screaming out at these stupid people. At myself, for being one of those stupid people that never loved her enough. Her parents stepped forward to receive the token.

"The comb?" her father asked. He looked broken. The peacekeeper shook his head and said that was all she mentioned, and her father took the ribbon and turned away. I couldn't watch him cry. I stepped into the few feet of clearing allowed for the unloading of the train and touched her father's elbow. "I have her comb," I said, quietly, hoping the crowd would be too distracted by Ping's casket to eavesdrop on this moment. I took the comb from my pocket and put it in his hand with the ribbon, and when he looked up at me, I saw nothing but confusion. "And is this your... your ribbon?" he asked. I nodded.

He gripped the comb. He pushed the ribbon into my stomach, and I took it back. Step. He turned away. Step. I backed into the crowd. Step. I didn't look at Ping's box. I looked at my ribbon and ran my fingers down it's pretty green designs. And I imagined Ping holding it and looking at it and seeing the same things I was seeing. She saw what I see. Step. Step. Step. Step. From the other end of the crowd I kiss the ribbon. I tie it back to the loop of my skirt, where it had been slightly more than a week before. To the capital and back. Just like Ping. She never failed me. And I'll never forget her.

[attr="class","mary2"]