what's that sound i hear down under? || wynter || day 1.5

the moon light is shown
i feel our walls are cracking
and were so close to fall
i hear the night, it's calling out
what's that sound i hear down under?

I think I'm on fire.

My skull screams, as do my limbs, protesting as I flee from the Cornucopia. Whether I'm a coward or simply just smart will have to be decided later - fuck, I should of stayed with the other Careers, killed off some of the smaller kids, made some stronger allies, waited for them to kill me in my sleep-

I stop for a moment, resting dangerously out in the open, and prod my face with my hands, desperately trying to find the source of all this pain. The second I feel painful pressure from my nose spread into the spaces behind my eyes I curse, loudly - perhaps too loudly. Whatever, I don't need a blade, I'll fight them with my bare hands.

My nose is broken, isn't it? Shit. I'll kill that kid from Eight.

I think I've been running for hours, but maybe it was just for a few minutes, I can't tell. This is all so much bigger than I was expecting. Hoping for an easy fight was childish. Someone told me a long time ago that sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war or something bullshit like that.

At least it's quiet here. Peaceful, even.

BOOM!

And then panic ensues.

I scream, brain on fire, scratching at the sides of my head with hands desperate to block out the sounds of a canon, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, death's call is suffocating me and I can't breathe, "SHUT UP!" I cry, damning myself, I scramble to cover my mouth with one hand but then I can hear again, and now I'm on the ground trembling and gasping for oxygen, I think I lay there for hours and hours.

Then there is silence. After a while, I'm okay again. Pick myself up off the floor, shake off my demons, act like nothing ever happened. I think, grimly, that I was wise to stay away from the rest of them.

You're only as strong as your weakest link - and you can't cut off trauma, or crazy.

I think I hear a scream, but perhaps it's just the echoes of my own pain. Maybe I'll go crazy in here. Crazier than everyone else already thinks I am. But in here, crazy can keep you alive. Rage certainly can, to an extent. I think I'll be okay.

For now.

Hyper-sensitive, my head shoots up to squint at the bright blue sky the second a beeping sounds above me and I find solace in the irritation it gives me - drifting down to land at my feet. 

I grin at the knife laid out before me, picking it up with hungry hands. It glistens against the light of the jewels surrounding me and I peer at my reflection in its blade - my nose is crooked, but that's not what I'm worried about.

I look broken. Damaged.

I look like my sister.

It's only been a few hours. What the hell am I going to look like when I get out of here? I always hated my reflection. The idea of coming to miss it feels strange and unusual, so I snarl at the girl staring back at me and place the knife aside, digging through the backpack of gifts. 

One full canteen, a medical kit and a pair of sneakers later - I feel stronger. More prepared. The other Careers will have armour but armour breaks, in time. Willpower, however, that's tougher to shatter. 

I grit my teeth and exhale, picking up my broken pieces, I stay alive. For now.

is it your heart, is it just thunder?
we are only what we feel
and turning into something real
moonlight breaks the crack of dawn
breaking us into separate parts

song: down under - nonono