leonidas krigel | four | cb fin

pitch black, pale blue,
it was a stained glass
variation of the truth
and I felt empty handed

Neptune boy, staring at the stars and wishing you could be them; you've been born into a life most aspire to have and you don't even realize it. You crave more, and though you lack India's conviction and Arie's gilded promise, you make up for it with sheer intelligence. The smart one, that's how your mother introduces you, lined up shoulder to shoulder with your sisters and wearing some ridiculous outfit as if you're just a doll to play dress up with. Truly, you don't often feel like you know more than yours sisters; you're simply quiet and know how to listen, how to use what others say to get what you want.

Glamour always hated the lot of you. India didn't care to listen to whatever he had to say, Arie tried too hard to get into his good graces, and you made it known that the three of you were untouchable. You had a father and a mother and a family who loved you. He was the outsider, and though he held the power for now, you made it clear that he wouldn't always.

It must've worked, because he bought you a dog. He bought India a set of throwing knives, got Arie a makeup palette. The easy thing would've been to give you a book, but you have a theory that you made him second guess himself, made him scratch deeper than the surface to please you. There is courage in conviction; there is beauty in promise.

There is knowledge in silence, so you'll be quiet until you've gathered the energy to scream.

I'm only honest when it rains
if    I    time    it    right
the     thunder     breaks
when I open my mouth

song: neptune