The RLS Trolley Problem

VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: The only usable parts of the Wealth that Aya and I have kept are the items in Lex and Denali's inventories. Absolutely no part of our land ship will be repurposed via improvised weapons or utilized in ANY useful way during the games. This nonsense is purely for the fun of writing, similar to the cornucopia being stolen by the Wealth winners in the 67th Games.

THE RLS TROLLEY PROBLEM

So. We wanted to build a land ship and we wanted to build it purely out of materials available from the wealth... three hours later we had found a use for every. single. item. We're proud of our hot nonsense, so we wanted to share it.



BODY OF SHIP
- 9 shopping carts, lashed together
- length of wire x3, turning joints
- Duct tape, non-turning joints

MASTHEAD OF GLAMOUR AND VEPAR
- Armored Vest, as masthead torso
- Set of 10 Postcards, as papier-mâché head bases
- Vegan Macaroni and Cheese, glue
- Cooked Quinoa, glue
- Polaroid Camera & 10 Film, to create patchwork face features (tongue out mouth photo for Vepar; Glamour: one eye is Denali winking with her black eye, one eye is Lex smoldering with a raised eyebrow; other photos as general patchwork skin)
- Hunting Knife x 2, blades broken off and attached on Vepar's head as bladed devil horns
- cut piece of blue pride flag stripe as Glamour's lips
- Star-Shaped Sunglasses (on Vepar)
- Mouse Ears Hat (on Glamour)
- Rhinestone Clutch, stripped for bedazzling hair
- Cheap Rhinestone Jacket, attached to masthead torso as a matching battle jacket (go team badass)
- Needle and Thread, cross stitch embroidery

BATTLE DRUMS
- Empty Wine Jug x6, upside-down, attached along the sides of the ship
- Duct tape
- Pliers x6, disassembled in halves as drum sticks
- Fishing line, drum stick tethering to sides of carts

NEST PILLOWS (in 2 middle side carts)
- Fanny pack x2, pillow covers
- Cheaply Made Jacket Complete with $80 Price Tag x3, pillow covers
- Designer Handbag x4, pillow covers (hardware stripped for battle jackets)
- shredded roll of bandages (75 ft), stuffing
- shredded Amusement Park Admissions Ticket x5, stuffing
- shredded Mouse Ear Hat x4, stuffing
- shredded Set of 10 Postcards, stuffing
- Needle and Thread x7, cross stitch embroidery

EXHAUST
- vape pen x3

NAVIGATION
- Compass

SEARCHLIGHT/SPYGLASS
- binoculars (one half searchlight, one half spyglass)
- flashlight

LIGHT (hanging on mast)
- lantern
- Vegan Steak, soy candle

MAST
- Javelins (3 - broken off handles), mast pole core
- Battleaxe (broken off handle), mast pole core
- Spiked Blunt (broken off handle), mast pole core
- Crowbar, mast pole core
- Duct tape
- Shin Guards x4, reinforcement around mast pole, binding
- Empty Wine Jug x14, smashed in tote bags, base weight to hold mast up
- Pliers x9, disassembled in tote bags, base weight to hold mast up
- Commemorative 80th Games Glass Jar x3, smashed in tote bags, base weight to hold mast up
- Clear Plastic Tote Bag x3, hold base weights in place

SAIL
- Rainbow Flag x4
- Needle and Thread, assembly
- Scarf, halyard
- Iodine tablets x6, crushed into dye, skull and cross bones design
- Hand-picked Raspberries, crushed into dye, red eyes

RUDDERS
- Skateboard x2, steering
- Javelins (2 - broken off handles), attached as handles
- Duct tape

SEATING
- Cooking pot x3, overturned and taped down (2 up front at navigation, 1 in back at rudders)
- Combat boots x3, cut into leather seating pads
- Duct tape

POLE OARS
- Spear (broken off handle)
- Trident (broken off handle)



VICTORY FEAST
- Almonds
- Avocado
- California Roll
- Fondue Kit
- Happy Cow Cheese
- Vegetarian Poke Bowl
- Vegetarian Sushi



BATTLE JACKETS
- Armored Vest (+10 torso) x2
- Cheap Rhinestone Jacket x2
- Designer Handbag hardware, aesthetics
- Needle and Thread x2, assembly
- Needle and Thread x2, cross stitch embroidery
- Gloves, cut into hand shaped leather patches
- Combat boots, cut into other patch designs
- Star-Shaped Sunglasses x3, stars broken off and attached as decoration

OTHER ARMOR AESTHETICS
- Rhinestone Clutch x2, stripped for bedazzling of other armor