Shepherd of the damned [Harbinger one-shot]

Most of the morning is spent pacing back and forth back as my eyes remain on the screen. The games are beginning, and I'm terrified. My family hasn't had the best of luck in these, and right now I want that to change. I want to make sure things get better for us. I want to see Faux succeed in this, but he's so pure and innocent it seems. He's not like Crusader, Weaver, or Tamron, and it makes me even more afraid. It's a rough day especially when the bloodbath begins. I'm so afraid for him. I can't sit down, and I can't take my eyes off the screen because I don't want to miss a moment of this. I want to make sure he's okay. I have to. He's my brother.

I don't sleep that night because I'm working relentlessly trying to get him a sponsorship. Trying to get him something to help him, and I finally figure it out. I finally managed to get people to send things to him. Who wouldn't want an innocent Rhodes to become a murderer? Who wouldn't want to watch someone with a huge heart slay someone? I sold that trying to find a good story for hi despite knowing it goes against everything my brother knows. I had to help him whatever the cost may be so that he has a chance. I want to see him again. To hug him. To hold him. To live together once more, but I'm afraid that isn't possible. I smile when he gets the gifts, and I can see how grateful he is, and it makes me happy knowing he has a chance.

My eyes are heavy from lack of sleep, but as the sun rises, and I watch my brother and his allies begin the next day, I feel apprehensive. I don't know what's going to happen, and with Glamour being a gamemaker, I'm sort of afraid. I don't know what to expect, and I watch as Faux's friend rushes into a battle. My heart is heavy. It's doing jumping jacks inside my chest. I don't know what to do or what to think. I don't even know where to begin. Everything is falling apart. He barely makes an attack. He barely does anything, and the tiny boy from two, and the girl from six are attacking him. I'm shaking. My entire body's shaking, and I watch as he misses, and I watch as the boy from two drives the spiked weapon into his skull.

I'm screaming before I even realize what's happening. I can't make out what's happening. Everything is going black. I watched Weaver die. I watched Tamron die. My entire body is numb. Everything is going so fast. Words are muffled. All I can hear is the beat of my heart pounding through my skull as Faux's lifeless body crumbles against the ground. No. This can't be happening. No. Faux. Get up. Please get up. But I know he can't. A pool of blood forms a rose around his head. He's always been so sweet, so innocent, but none of that matters here in the games. None of that ever matters anymore.

"Faux!" I'm screaming his name over and over, but he doesn't move, and I'm so far away from him. I can't just run out and grab him. I can't wrap him in my arms. I can't protect him anymore. I feel like such a failure. I've let everyone down. Crusader. Weaver. Tamron. And now Faux. I don't know how to explain to my family back home that I can't keep them alive. I don't know how to tell them I'm sorry. I don't know what to do anymore. I heart his cannon, and my heart crumbles along with it.

I kick the chair that's next to me as I force myself onto my feet. I hate this place. I hate everything about it. I hate that I won. I hate that I'm alive while I'm watching the rest of my family pay the price for me. I hate that I can't do a damn thing about it. I don't know where Kirito is, and it's best that he remains somewhere locked away from the rest of the world. I kick the chair again over and over. Shaky hands knock the pristine glasses from the table. The shattering sound doesn't bother me. It's music to my ears. Red flickers before my eyes as I knock the table over, and then I throw the glasses against the wall. It's not my place, and I don't have to clean up this mess.

Avoxes look at me before looking away. I feel bad for them. I hate they're here living like peasants. I hate that they have no chance at a good life. Yes they're criminals, but it doesn't matter. "What are you looking at!?" I growl between gritted teeth before throwing another glass at this one girl's head. She ducks out of the way just in time letting it smash against the wall. I am going to kill President Snow if it's the last thing I do. I'm going to make him pay for all the pain he's caused me. I'm going to end his life in the worse way possible. He doesn't deserve to live after all of these terrible things he's done. Nobody will be able to stop me. He will suffer if it's the last thing I do.