I fall to pieces [Yusei one-shot]
Jan 11, 2019 19:41:45 GMT -5
Post by Cato on Jan 11, 2019 19:41:45 GMT -5
Yusei Rhee
Life is challenging. I made it back home. All of us made it back home. Never heard of anything like that before. But trying to adjust to this new life is a challenge. It's hard because I don't have anyone by my side. I volunteered to get the attention of the girl I have a crush on, but it hasn't worked. I haven't seen her since I made it back home. I haven't heard from her, and it hurts. I'm all alone trapped in my room as I watch the seasons change around me. Sometimes birds fly in front of my window chirping happily. Sometimes I see birds fighting, or rabbits hopping from one side of the road to another. The streets are busy. I could be out living life to the fullest, but right now I just want to sit on my bed and do nothing. I eat enough to get by. I drink enough water so I don't get dehydrated. I watch animals roam freely. I was almost with my parents again, but even that was torn away from me in the blink of an eye.
All I wanted was for her to notice me. For her to talk to me. For her to say, hey you exist. Anything is better than what I'm getting now. I put myself through the games, through the torture, and even now as I hold a pencil in my hand trying to write a letter to her, I can't find the words. What can I say to her? What can I do to make her realize that I care for her. That I did this because all I wanted was for her to see me as a human, but even that didn't work. Nothing works anymore. Nothing does. I'm a fool, and I will always be a fool. It's hard waking up every single day knowing that my life wasn't worth it. That even though I've been given a second chance, I can't make the best of it. Being brought back to life was hard, but nothing compares to the void in my heart that grows larger with each passing moment.
I raise a cup to my lips drinking the water lingering inside. It's nothing much, but maybe it's enough. I have an empty house. It's just me the creaking and squeaking with every step I take. I want that to change, but I can't stop the tears from falling down my face. I knew I would probably die in the games. I knew I may not have ever made it back home alive. But all I wanted was for Cirque to notice me, and I failed. She doesn't care about me. Nobody cares about me. I'm just me. I sigh as I lay the pencil down on the blank sheet of paper. Sitting here is going to get me nowhere, but maybe I need to get out and search for her. Maybe I need to find her. I don't know, though. I doubt she'll ever notice me, and it hurts so bad. Nothing will ever compare. Losing my parents hurt, but this hurts much more. I gave my life for a chance at a girl I care for, but obviously it was a mistake, and now I'm stuck in a world all by myself.
My heart aches. My entire body just isn't there. I'm numb. A foolish man sitting on my bed wondering where to go from here. I doubt anyone will ever understand. Maybe those that died with me. Maybe they'll realize how hard this new life is. My head slouches forward as I place my palm against my forehead. I always wanted to hear the words until death do us part, but it's not going to happen. Nothing will ever happen. I can't show my face anywhere. I can't leave my house. Maybe the next time she sees me I'll be lying the floor beside my bed as my soul enters another world. Maybe that's what it'll take for her to notice me. It's all I can think of, but I doubt even that will work, and I really don't feel like finding out any time soon. I'll just be alone forever I suppose. It's all I need. Even if we just become friends, it'll fill the void, but with how things are going, I don't think she cares. Maybe I should just move on.
80th Hunger Games
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