When I dream of dying I never feel so loved // [Stellex]

s t e l l a   b l a k e s l e y.

Ex’s sheets are a dark, deep red, like the color of the wine that currently stains her lips. Stella searches for the right word - vermilion didn’t really do the hue justice, nor did claret, scarlet, or ichor. Thousands of words for blood filter through her mind, even as she desperately tried to leave the Games behind for just one night. The commentary of four games had grown ever more colorful as they searched for ways to keep the masses entertained and Stella was over the bloodshed, over the killing and she knew she had decades more of this to endure.

Stella had no choice but to kiss the wine off of Ex’s lips as she hunted for the word, kissing down the older woman’s neck, her collarbone. Light kisses dotting freckled skin and the young Victor was like a cartographer, charting a path of skin. Skin Stella tried but failed to memorize, even after all these years.

"C'moooon, baby. "It'll be fun!" The words were spoken softly, dripping off of Ex's lips like honey and Stella wanted, needed, to kiss them away. "If we're going to be together - forever and always - I want to be part of your life. Part of all parts, nothing excepted. Not even the Games."

Stella paused somewhere around the dip at Ex’s neck with a sigh before leaning back on an elbow, an eyebrow raised.

The words forever and always sounded foreign coming out of Ex’s mouth and yet they still made Stella’s heart race. She was gone, far too gone for Ex to even realize and the Capitolite had to know that she had the Victor wrapped around her finger from the moment she sat down to drinks four years previously.

There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for Ex, but she also knew there wasn’t anything Ex wouldn’t do for a scoop.

“Forever and always, huh? You do have a way with words, Miss van der Woodsen. How about you show me what you can do without your fancy words?”

Even now, wrapped in Ex’s arms as the night grew later, Stella knew that Ex wasn't going to drop the issue. There wasn’t anything to hide, really. Nor did Stella feel that she had to hide that part of her life from Ex. She had seen the woman that Stella had become, had transformed into, after she had descended the cold, frozen peak.

She had seen the blonde send nine tributes to their deaths, with Nico the only one returning safely. So far, at least. Reggie was still alive and fighting.

Ex had seen the breakdowns, the sleepless nights, the thrown wineglasses and scotch tumblers. She had seen the nightmares and the cold sweats. She had seen it at all and yet, by the grace of God or some other higher power, she had chosen to stay by Stella's side. Scars, or lack therof (thanks to the Capitol) and all.

Stella had relented sometime around sunrise, not that she had put up much of a fight. Ex had known that she would. They both knew that she would and yet she also knew that Ex would savor the victory as they walked into the Training Center.

Stella paused at the large wall of televisions as the tributes feasted and sighed. Nico had taken the reins this year while Stella had stayed in the shadows. He wanted to shoulder more of the burden and Stella had been more than willing to grant him that. And he was good, so good with the tributes. His presence, like a quiet storm, had always calmed Stella, even as he escaped his demons nightly with liquor. They all coped in their own ways.

Stella had spent the night previous with Teddy and Mickey, their voices carrying over the constant streaming of the Games and the analyzing and over-analyzing. Teddy had lost Rabbit on Day Two. Stella had lost Pris on Day Three right before Teddy lost Kirk and Mickey stayed silent, watching and waiting for whatever came next.

A yank on her hand and Stella is pulled away from the television screens by Ex, whirling the younger blonde.

"So, where to first? The dining hall? The obstacle course? The Twelve apartments? I want to see it all!"

"Well, you've seen my apartment, so we can tick that off of the list," Stella spun, her heels echoing off the granite floors and a headache lurking behind her eyes.

The younger blonde chose to ignore the whimsy that lurked behind Ex's eyes as she took in the Feast. The food was probably poisoned. Or worse. Everything came with a price in the Arena.

"You tell me, love. I am just a glorified tour guide, as it were."