Gwen Foutley; D6 Drug cartel plot FIN

When the muse has deserted me, I’m sober

So, I make sure I have an endless supply in my deep pockets. A way to fly away into another realm and finish these fanciful words of prose that make me a martyr but also a matriarch of the maturing world I mine. They come to me like the pied piper leading away the rats to board a boat to their demise, yet they always compromise.

That’s only in my world.

It’s an endless cycle, one I wish I had never got into. The school acts as a cover for the goods that are brought to me from my suppliers. My backpack conceals the lot of it, but really, I wish I could stop all of this. One day, I’m fearful of being caught, but it will never come to that. There’s only one problem -

I can’t stop.

I can’t quit what makes me feel good. I can’t quit the people that depend on my money to exchange from my wallet to their boss. I can’t stand watching the day by day go by as slow as the second hand on the pocket watch in my coat pocket. It’s one thing to deal with the cruelty of school, the nagging teachers and the more than immature students that stick straws up their noses or make haughty decisions among their peers for likes and common praise. The prison we slave away writing papers and... and learning things that ought not be taught because let's face it, where is the motivation at when we are nothing but pawns for the games. Surviving the games would be a hell that I don’t want to partake in. They think we want to learn and fight for the games, but we are hardly equipped to handle such a task. We can barely manage getting up in the morning and dressing ourselves, but we force ourselves to anyways.

What choice do we have?

In the present, I cheer on my friends and hold tight to the straps on my bag should someone rip it off my person. I wander from class to class in hopes that I’ll meet another new dealer with something more potent. Why risk a day, when one day is all we’ll have and we'll slowly fuse away and burn up into oblivion.

I want more than that.

Is that so much to ask?