fio bridgerton. cb

it is always this: a girl and the color red.

seven years old and a
man thinks /
        i should not wear red, shouts at me in the park,
        my body / his weapon / my bones,
feel the snap.

girl     / bloodless under the moon
red                                       / rage

vivienne bridgerton / mama /
she reminds me i am
                    beautiful.
i make
            my own choices,
            my own red choices.

but shame piles up, collects in the body,


coy.

guilt complex / god complex
there's no                 balance.
the world watches and
    i let them
    / i watch them back.

vivienne bridgerton has a daughter trying to / fill her shoes /
        [the gap she leaves remains].

i spend hours in the tub,
             scrub my skin,
             pile my hair in a soapy pile on my head,
             shred my freckles until there's only angry pink
             scratches across my body, a spiders web,

man teaches me to dance, hand on the nape
        of my neck


i want to be free of my bones
          to be free with my bones.