take me by the hand // arx

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Blood oozed from her throat, spilling down the front of her shirt. Her eyes were open wide, but the life that had once filled them- filled them no longer. They were lifeless, blank. I could feel my heart ache as I stared into the lifeless pits, the lump forming in my throat made it hard for me to breathe. I take a deep breath. Another one. But no matter how much air I sucked in my chest still ached- still burned. Then I saw her. Her eyes blazed, her hands coated in blood. My mother’s blood. I felt my heart beat faster, and beads of sweat formed on my forehead, and the back of my neck, making my hair cling to my damp skin.

“No, no, no no no no!” My voice trembles as I back away slowly from the girl whose hands were dripping with scarlet liquid. “I- I- I killed you!” I stumble, words refusing to fall from my lips. My whole body was shaking, from my fingers to my legs. I could barely breathe and my knees felt weak. “I- I stabbed you! I Killed you!” I scream, my voice echoing though the empty building. I had. I had slid that knife through her throat, ending her life then and there. As the thoughts slipped into my mind a patch of scarlet liquid formed at the base of my sisters throat. “Yeah, you did. That was a bit mean, now wasn’t it Mal. I had thought that you were going to play with me. I had thought that we were going to bond, that we were going to be happy. But- but” The evil glint in her eyes died, tears replacing it. She looked so young, so very young, like she had when she dropped a china plate. She had been so innocent back then- “But then you shoved that blade through my neck.” With a small hand she pats the spot where the blood gathered, her eyes falling from mine.

I could feel my heart ache. I was so scared, but underneath all that guilt rose within me. I had killed my own sister, taken her life. Taken the life of the girl who shared my blood. The girl who loved me. But she had killed my mother- our mother. She had taken away my best friend, the only person who I could trust everything with. When she looked at me next, tears streaked her face, her eyes wider than usual. “You killed me. YOU KILLED ME! YOUR OWN SISTER! YOU. KILLED. ME.” Her voice rose, her eyes turning from sad to untamed rage. ”And now- and now you’re gonna pay.” Slowly she begins to move towards me. She didn’t seem to walk, but glide. Her feet barely moving as she slide across the floor. Hastily I backed away, fears climbing through my limbs. “No- no, you- you have to understand! I- I didn’t meant to hurt you! I-I” I what? I just wanted to lame you? Silence you forever? I had wanted to kill her, to end her life. And that’s what I had done. “I- you killed her! Our mother! You killed… Why?”

“It was for her own good. She didn’t love me. She hated the site of me. I was just an accident.” Bella spat, her face curling into an expression that revealed her disgust towards the woman. “Don’t worry, though, you will see her soon- when I stick this knife through the soft skin of your throat.” Bella lunges at me and a scream slips past my lips guard.

I sit bolt straight up in my bed, my heart racing faster than the train that passes through the district each time the reaping comes around. My eyes search the room around me, sweat coating my skin, making me feel damp and uncomfortable. Or years I have now dreamt of the same thing, my sister promising that she will kill me, my sister blood thirsty eyes as she lunged towards me. For years I have cried myself to sleep, wishing that I could take things back, but I can’t. What if I hadn’t of killed my sister? would we be happy? Would I have gotten over the fear that filled me whenever I was around her? Would we be a family? All these questions ran through my mind endlessly, and none of them, not even one of them I had an answer for. They were all just questions, questions that made me over think things, that made me go slightly mad, desperate to find an answer.

Sighing, I pull my blankets away from my body and fling myself out of bed. I needed fresh air, I needed to feel the cool breeze against my skin. I needed life to be simple. But I knew that was never going to happen. Life was not just a simple puzzle with like four pieces, no. It was like a complex puzzle with 3 thousand pieces. Three thousand pieces that were scattered all over the place, scattered far and wide, not wanting to be put together.

Slipping out of the small house that I slept I entered the night air. It bit at my exposed skin, but I didn’t care- in fact I welcomed it, I welcomed the way the skin on my legs and arms stung as the breeze pushed against me. Taking in a deep breath I walk into the wind, letting it wrap around my body. I smile, and take off down one of the abandoned streets. It was not unusual for me to wander around the streets during the night, I did it quiet often. The nightmares always kept me awake, always refused to allow me to sleep peacefully at night. When would it end? When would I be able to live a normal life once again, one that wasn’t disturbed by nightmares, one that was happy, that left me smiling every once and a while.



Template credits to the wonderful Zoe <3[/font]

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