put on a show {poppy x ellie}!blitz!
Jul 18, 2017 1:37:23 GMT -5
Post by [nyte] on Jul 18, 2017 1:37:23 GMT -5
Music beats for a broken heart. Dread is sewn to sunken cheeks with broken eyes that shine like molten glass. Lies are alcohol, lingering upon my tongue like the shadow sewn to my heels and no matter how many times in the last week that I have tried to rid my closet of all these skeletons he won't stop showing up. In my dreams, in my thoughts, with his stupid smile and obnoxious tendencies.
No matter how bad I want to call them nightmares, I wake with a smile each time.
And I cannot tell him that he has broken my heart. Shrugs and smiles and I've been under the weather, excuses that taste like bile up my throat and eyes that don't meet his. And every time I see him it rips open the staples I have forced into these open wounds but I can't decide whether being with or without him hurts the most.
Justice's methods are surprisingly effective. I drink to go numb, so that when hands stick to my body I don't feel as used up as I actually am.
It's all an act. Short skirts with black stockings that rest mid-thigh, begging for eyes to be caught in the space between. Hair dyed strawberry blond, long nails to be pushed through tangled locks when the heat of bodies pressed together upon a dance floor sticks sweat to my brow. I paint my lips red to brand men with a vixen's stain. Artificial happiness is better than none at all.
It's only a bar tonight. Music thrumming somewhere in the background with the hustle and bustle of friends sharing beers over the latest games. We've gone out together, maybe I'm still trying to prove to him that nothing has changed but there's a kind of aching in my heart that assures me everything has. A couple beers, idle chit-chat- things are good and yet it's all too much.
I can't blame him, it's not like I ever told him how I felt. It's not like anything would change if I had.
All I can do is try to numb the pain. Wash, rinse, repeat.
I buy us some shots, smiling and laughing as intoxication settles somewhere in the pit of my stomach. My hands start itching, begging to run themselves through his hair and the faster I turn away from him the better. It's not my place. He is not mine.
So I should find someone else to take tonight.
And I've drank enough to pretend I don't know what I'm doing, standing up without much thought as to where I'm headed, finding myself beside an angel with a liquor and lust on my breath.
His shoulders seem strong and I'm sure he won't mind if I rest my cheek upon one, teeth sunk into my bottom lip and wiping away its pretty stain. "Come here often?"
A strand of his hair finds its way around my finger, giggle bursting from between lips meant to be only slightly parted. I've never been a charming girl but hell, I can try.