or strangers. valentino !

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bloomtodeath

or strangers. valentino ! Apr 23, 2020 19:00:28 GMT -5

Post by ✨ on Apr 23, 2020 19:00:28 GMT -5

e l e n a ;

"ella no tiene que preocuparse

e acostumbró a estar sola. "

It's kind of fun, having a secret.

I mean, the anxiousness isn't great. I never liked butterflies, certainly not in my stomach. And to be honest it's not like Marley is a secret - everyone around here knows about him. It's just not everyone here knows we're friends. I know it's silly to hide friendships, that most people would scoff at the idea that my parents have to approve of who I spend my time with. And I kinda get it, you know, it is sort of silly. But....

I can't explain it, it's just sort of how my family works. If you know, you know, y'know?

The worst part of having a secret is juggling it all. Dodging Marley's questions about coming over for dinner, "Hey let's hang out at your house" "Oh now's... not a good time hey let's go to the lake!" is on loop, I'm a broken record. "Where were you today Elena?" "With..." choking on my roast potatoes, "Jemma!"

Jemma doesn't exist. Well she does, I did go to school with her. Think I went to a few birthday parties at her house as a child. All I actually know about her is that she's blonde and she had a dog once and she's on the approved list of people I can talk to because her Mom worked at the Justice Building and her Dad worked hard, I guess, I could never really work out the criteria. But Jemma is a name I can use to shut Mom up with. A decoy imaginary friend.

"She has a dog, did I tell you?"

and Mom will just look at me funny, go back to not giving a shit about my life outside of appearances. I'm sure Jemma is great and all but she doesn't make me laugh like Marley. She doesn't squint up her eyes when she grins like a goof, she can probably ride a bike without crashing into a tree, she doesn't dare me to do canon-ball bombs into the river with all my clothes on. She doesn't have a step-Mom that bakes with me or a sister that lets me borrow her clothes when I sleep over on the couch or slip into a mud puddle in fall. She doesn't make me feel like there's a life outside of parties and my sister and Papa's business.

She doesn't make me feel safe.

Nobody does except Marley. Not even my own parents.

I'll just eat my potatoes and ask for Papa to pass me the gravy, "please," stare at my peas like they're the most fascinating thing on the planet and try not to make my nervous bouncing knee underneath the table so obvious.

song

“and men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins.”

Deleted

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last seen Apr 20, 2024 3:39:04 GMT -5

or strangers. valentino ! Apr 23, 2020 20:29:03 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2020 20:29:03 GMT -5

For the last few years, I have despised the family dinners - especially since Jacinta demands on rejecting any attempt I make at having her attend. It's difficult for a man to recognize he is a failure; though however proud I may be of her. It still amazes me, that my oldest daughter still finds way to both impress and disappoint me. I would have imagined she'd give up by now.

But not her.

I always knew she was hard headed.

And so it just comes to us - Marina & I, and three children of five remain. My youngest in years approach the age where Jaci and Violetta decided to leave me for less and I remain, ultimately, nervous. Patiently, of course, I know they will each find their own ways in life and I understand my own mother more by each passing day. It is increasingly difficult to believe your children will be as successful as they can be when they just... do as these children do. Sebastien and Luzia and Elena, and myself and Marina.

They think me a monster, as if I chose the fate of this family, yet I manage to condemn it too. Isn't that strange? I still harbor emotions over it, over the failed electoral running, over the death of Violetta. But these things are just part of life, people are not invincible- kids. are not, invincible. I have been tough and kind and tough again on these kids, and they're just as hard headed as they were years ago.

I eat my food while listening to my daughter, she has a dog. And I learn more things every single day, increasingly so. Elena is popular, I would hope so, just as charismatic as her parents. She's grown out of her shell since our family has been forced to grow, I wish I were still kind to her.

But I've never not tried.

"Jemma?" A friend, it's nice that she has friends. It's good! Marina and I, we may not see eye to eye but we both notice it is good for them to behave like normal kids. "Sorry, you mean the Mazzeo's daughter? Marina, when was the last time you talked to Feya! I have not talked to her since my run in the election, grief." Hmm, I didn't know she had a dog, must be new.

"I have not talked to her in a very long time, Valentino."

Ahh, "well, that makes the two of us. Elena, it's strange you spend so much time with Jemma and never invite her to our dinners." I say over gravy, passing the train across the table to Luzia over Violetta's empty chair. I believe Feya and her husband used to be old connections of mine, good to know Elena has a good head on her shoulder.

Good taste in people.

We need more of that around here, more trust.

"Besides, it'd be nice to have some company over some more. And it may be nice for you to make friends in a Mazzeo anyhow."