"Late at night a big old house gets lonely I guess every form of refuge has its price And it breaks her heart to think her love is only Given to a man with hands as cold as ice. "
She knew that one day it would be over. That one day she wouldn't have to continue this facade. Then she could be happy. Truly happy. A smile, one that was sweet and kind, turned up the corners of her full lips. Rays of gentle sunlight that peaked through the gaps in her blinds, warmed up her slightly tanned skin. She was still laying in bed, her long legs tangled in her sheets. Once upon a time she used to share her bed with the man that she loved. But time had come and gone and she had loved then fallen out of love.
She remembered what it felt like to be in love. She remembered that it had good times and bad times. She remembered how it felt to look at Leo- her husband- and to feel her heart rate increase when there eyes met across the room, when he smiled at her... When he kissed her for the first time. She remembers that day very well. They had just spent the whole day together, wandering around the barren streets of district eight when it had started pouring. The weather had looked glum all day, the clouds had groan angrily as the wind raged past buildings, howling into the dark sky. He had taken her hand then, dragging her into an abandoned shed. There they had laughed huddling close together to try and warm themselves. His hand had cupped her cheek, his eyes boring into my dark ones. "I really want to kiss you knight know... In fact, I've wanted to kiss you the moment I meet you." He had whispered to her, though she had barely heard him over the thumping of her heart.
Then without waiting to hear more she had wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to hers. She would always remember that kiss. It was the start of something amazing. It was such a pity that it was so broken now. So broken that she knew it could never be fixed.
She remembered the first time he said 'I love you.' She remembered so clearly the pure joy had flowed through her like a breath of fresh air, the way she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, to be close to him cause she knew that she felt the same way too. She had said it back almost immediately, thinking that she would love this man forever. That he was her's and she was his.
She remembered the day he asked her to marry him. They had been at her place. Away from his family drama when he suddenly turned to her. He told her how much she meant to him, how every morning she was the first thing he thought about. He told her that he wanted to wake up everyday with her beside him. That he would make it his life mission to make her the happiest woman in the world. She remembered all the small amazing things that he had promised her. It had been one of the happiest memories she had of him. It was such a shame that the memory was tarnished in her eyes.
She remembered the first time she told him he was pregnant. She remembers it as clearly as though it was yesterday. The face that she had fallen in love with, had filled with such happiness that she had cried. The tears that had leaked from the corner of her eyes had been filled with joy, and relief, by his reaction. At first she hadn't been sure how'd he react. She had wanted him to react just like this of course, but somewhere, buried deep, she had worried that he would be angry. That he would not want this unborn child. That he would leave the two of us alone. But after seeing his eyes light up, his strong arms had wrapped around her thin body and all fears, doubts and worries had disappeared with each kiss. But maybe she had been naive, to let go and trust so easily. So quickly.
She remembered the day they brought their first child into the world. Ozaias. Oz for short. The cooing of the infant. A little boy. He was perfect. She could not fault the bundle of hoy in her arms. And she vowed to protect him. She vowed that she would love him everyday. Leo vowed that he would protect us both. He vowed that his first born son would have everything that she wished for in life- and more. Deep down Callie knew that he wished that he could. He wished that he didn't have to let Oz down, time after time again.
She remembers the first time he stormed out. After the birth of Oz things started to become more difficult. Money became tighter and they seemed to drift apart. She remembers that they spent less time with each other. They would go to bed at night, cuddle for a little, but not talk. She missed talking to him. She missed seeing him smile. Hearing him laugh.
Then came Dory and things got worse. We argued a lot. Callie never really looked at him the same way she used too. She remembers how they Ould pick on each other for the smallest things. How they never seemed to agree on a single thought. It was sad, really, because she did love him. And she wanted him to be happy. But she felt like it didn't matter what she did, what she said, nothing seemed to be able to fix the cracks in her marriage. They only seemed to grow, and grow, and grow until it felt like cliff faces separated us.
But then she saw some light shining on the horizon. But not from the other side that Leo stood on, but from a new cliff face that had formed. It drifted closer and closer to Callies' until they connected. His name was Dario. She remembers that all so clearly. She remembers the day she meet him. She had been crying, far from home after a particularly ugly fight. Leo and Callie had both said things that sliced deeper than skin. It hadn't mattered that she had thick skin, when it came down to Leo his words made her skin feel so thin.
She remembers how Dario had stopped walking, amber eyes meeting her teary dark orbs. "Hey, miss, are you okay?" His voice was deep, friendly, reassuring and alluring. She began speaking. She told him everything- she new she was over sharing, but she couldn't stop herself, she couldn't stop the words from falling from the tip of her tongue. So she didn't fight it. She told him everything. An d he listened. He listened so carefully, nodding and making small sounds of agreement- as well as disagreement.
Then finally when she was finished he asked her for coffee.
She said yes.
She remembers this as the start of something taboo, something wrong, but something that felt so right all at once.
Dario brought back the light in her life. He made her happy, made her smile. Made her laugh.
Made her feel like she was loved.
She remembers the day Leo found out. They argue. He screamed. She screamed.
"Leo... Leo we don't love each other anymore! you-"
"I love you Callie! I lo-"
"Leo. When are you going to stop lying to yourself? I know you feel it. The rift. When was the last time we said sat down and spoke. Just spoke about our day without ripping each others throats out."
"I know things have been tough. I know that I haven't been there- for you and the kids when you needed me. But sleeping with another man...? Why would you do that to our family?"
"He made me feel the way you used to. Loved. Happy. He wanted to be near me. Talk to me. Know about my day..."
She remembers how he struggled to find words because he knew. He knew that she was right. That he no longer loved her the way he deserved to love someone. How he deserved to be love.
So here she was. In bed alone. Leo no longer shared her bed. He slept in the spare room across from hers. They hadn't split. Not yet. For the sake of the children they both agreed that they should stay together. She hasn't realise that maybe this wasn't the best choice for her family. She loved her children. But she was blind to the damage that her toxic relationship was inflicting of the people she was trying to protect. She couldn't see the destruction she was causing.
"On the other side of town a boy is waiting With fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal She drives on through the night anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel."