caelum mae. d5. fin

calla RP Tutor 2,120 POSTS Pronouns: she/they last seen Apr 17, 2024 0:08:40 GMT -5 just a litle creacher	caelum mae. d5. fin Jul 7, 2020 23:16:06 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by calla on Jul 7, 2020 23:16:06 GMT -5 c a e l u m unhinged addict twin the heir
	Last Edit: Jul 12, 2020 20:24:45 GMT -5 by calla ⇀ tracker ↼ ⇀ 2024 upat ↼

calla
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2,120 POSTS

Pronouns: she/they
last seen Apr 17, 2024 0:08:40 GMT -5

just a litle creacher

caelum mae. d5. fin Jul 8, 2020 0:07:47 GMT -5

Quote

Post by calla on Jul 8, 2020 0:07:47 GMT -5

So what if I tried to smother Wolf when was eight, he's FINE now, alright??

Dying build character.

Or at least that's what I told Adeline when she found me standing over my little brother's bed in the middle of the night, holding a pillow over his tiny little face because I'd just found out that Dad had taken him to work that day while I was stuck at home again. Except Adeline had just wrestled me off of him all quiet-like and I think I might've bitten her, but she just took me by the shoulders and marched me back to my room for my medication.

Mom and Dad hired her as a nanny when I was three, and I guess for appearances sake she was supposed to take care of all of us, but she only ever really spent time with Sutton and I. And then just me. Because I was born with a predisposition, some kind of sickness in my cells that only got worse. Adeline said that I cried and cried and cried as a baby but it wasn't until the third doctor that they figured out what was wrong. It wasn't until I could talk that I could tell them that it hurt to breathe and to walk and to move my arms. It felt like there was glass inside me all the time, like a million knives poking into my limbs. It hurt to be held so I spent infancy in a crib. It hurt to be touched so I snapped at anyone who tried.

They never told me exactly what it was, just that I couldn't go to school with Sutton anymore and I couldn't spend too much time outside and I had to let Adeline give me injections every night because otherwise the pain would keep me up.

I burnt ants in the sun on weekends and Mom gave me anything I wanted. We only had one rule, her and I, she said we had to keep my condition a secret. Only Mom and Dad and Adeline and Sutton knew. They had promised me that I was going to take over the business and that meant that I couldn’t have a weakness.

So they kept hiring tutors and doctors that I chased away and threw rocks at because Adeline had already taught me how to read and she was the one that came into my room every night when I would be sobbing because I stepped down the stairs funny and it felt like my legs were broken. She pushed half a dozen little needles into my back until everything went fuzzy and was okay again. I fuckin' loved her, I really did.

And eventually the pain wasn't as bad. Adeline and I had a routine down, we were getting it under control, so that meant Dad could start to finally make good on his promise. He took me to the office every Friday and I remember on the third week he let me sit on his shoulders while he shot one of his underachievers in the head. I pointed my fingers at the body and shouted bang bang bang in time with the way his brain spilled out.

Adeline died that same way. It was five years ago, six maybe, I dunno it's been a blur since then. But Mom and I were coming home from overseeing some drop at a club and I was mad at her for making me wait in the lobby so I called her a motherfuckin' bitch because I heard Lysander say it once and then I went straight inside to find Adeline because I knew she always made me feel better. She was in the dining room getting ready for my lessons that night and I climbed into her lap and threw my arms around her and sulked. And I guess Dad had heard us come in because "Caelum Mae," I had heard him say,, "come back here and apologize to your mother."

But I had just hooked my chin over Adeline's shoulder and stared at the way and muttered, "Wish Adie was my mom instead." And then there was this great big banging sound right by my ear and I felt something wet splash on my cheek.

"Apologize," he'd said from behind us again, "and then go to your room."

Except I was frozen sitting there, ears still ringing, and I tried to get up without looking at her but my knees gave out a little and when I stumbled back off of the chair her body slumped over and landed on the floor. I tried to back up through the doorframe but Mom stopped me and said, "It's okay, baby." And I saw the gun in her hand when she brushed my hair back, "I know the pain just makes you a little moody, it's okay."

I just nodded and ran up the stairs to my room where I crawled into bed and tried to ignore the way the muscles in my shoulders were starting to burn. I think I laid there for hours, breathing through my nose and waiting for Adeline to come and make the pain stop. But she didn't, and I didn't sleep at all that night.

I was still awake when the sun came up through the curtains and I couldn't even get up to close them because I couldn't even roll over without sparks shooting up through my spine. When I finally hobbled my way back downstairs the blood on the floor had been cleaned up and Hazel was sitting eating breakfast right where Adeline died. She looked at me wide-eyed when I turned the corner and when I caught my reflection in the china cabinet I saw that there was streaks of dried blood still on my face.

Sutton did my injections for a while, just for the places on my back I couldn’t reach. But then she got bored with it and I just amped up the dosage to compensate, jabbed it all into one spot on my leg instead of spreading it out like Adeline had.

It worked better.

I did it in the evenings like she had and then I started doing it in the mornings too, because that bliss that it brought, it reminded me of her. But then sometimes I started seeing her out of the corner of my eye around lunchtime so I gave myself a dose then too. I went through it a hell of a lot faster but I just told Mom that the pain was getting worse and worse so she rerouted one of our suppliers to deliver straight to the house ever month.

I think that became the only time I was ever home. Adeline wasn't there anymore, Lysander was boring, Hazel was a goody two-shoes, Sutton knew too much and Wolf was just Wolf. I went through my first year without collapsing and Dad gave me more leeway in the business. I grew up with pain my whole life so I knew it inside and out. I remember turning fifteen and he sent me across the District by myself to collect a late payment from one of his old partners.

I broke down his door and smashed his face into the floor, shoved a switchblade through his wife's stomach and walked out with double of what I came for.

They told me Hazel was dead when I came back. I didn't even know she was sick but I even then I don't think I cared. I just went upstairs and cleaned bits of skin out from under my nails, took one of the syringes out from under the sink and waited for my hands to stop shaking.

The thing is I liked it. Mom taught me how to shoot a gun and she let me use the rats and the birds in the backyard as target practice but Adeline always tried to make me use empty soda cans that she lined up instead. But I liked shooting the rats and the birds better. I liked that feeling of being in control and not hurting, but hurting someone else instead.

I really liked it.

So I just kept doing it. Whenever Dad needed information I was there. Whenever he needed someone to send a message I was the first one to step up. I don't know how much time passed between me forgetting that Hazel even existed and me suddenly remembering that Lysander existed. There was a whole year in there that was nothing but fog and screaming and mornings where I'd wake up in an abandoned apartment but I couldn't remember how I got there.

I watched Lysander volunteer but I didn't even recognize her up on stage. I don't know if she changed or if I did.

But I'm the oldest now. I know that, at least. Wolf's still a little shit but he might actually have a chance at inheriting all this except I won't let him. I can't, it's all I have left. If he tries I'll kill him first, I swear. I'll find out where they dumped Adeline and I'll leave his body there too. They took Adeline but they won't take this.

Because it's mine. This empire is mine in the same way that these brittle bones are mine. Anyone that tries to change that, I'll bash their teeth in and make them kiss my boots. I will.

Last Edit: Jul 12, 2020 19:59:33 GMT -5 by calla

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calla RP Tutor 2,120 POSTS Pronouns: she/they last seen Apr 17, 2024 0:08:40 GMT -5 just a litle creacher	caelum mae. d5. fin Jul 12, 2020 20:24:52 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by calla on Jul 12, 2020 20:24:52 GMT -5 d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi come and GET
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d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi Advertiser 1,828 POSTS Pronouns: She/Her last seen Apr 6, 2024 0:45:24 GMT -5 basically miss america	caelum mae. d5. fin Jul 12, 2020 23:15:24 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi on Jul 12, 2020 23:15:24 GMT -5 im literally screaming omfg
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