what do you get when you mix...

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I grab her by her arm, because i do like her, a lot and i cant just let her leave. "Please, dont go.." i say defeated and saddened by the whole mess of it... "please..." i beg now, but she doesnt seem to hear me. I feel so wrong, inside and out, this isnt supposed to be whats going on, me and trai are together and i love her, but i cant help but think of what couldve been, if rory and i were together, why am i such a moron? UGH!

"Just think... blah with your lives," she tells me.. "If you go..." i take a second to think about myself, not anyone else, what I want, how her leaving will affect ME, "If you go..." i repeat.. "Then im going too," i tell her, not wanting to see Trai's expression... but i know this hurts me more than anything else...

"Im not being stupid, you are my friend and i wont let you go out there on your own," i tell her, because she is my friend, and as a friend i love her, but as for trailynn, i love her more than just a simple friend... "Trai, you know i would never do anything to hurt you, but i cant just let her go alone," I tell her, because as for now, i know one thing, as i was thinking a few moments ago, 'I cant let Rory go because she is my friend, and i love her as such, but then Trai and I, we belong together, I know she doesnt think id just sit back and let a friend go off alone into the wilderness... She knows id never hurt her in any way and i know she understands...' my conscience keeps telling me.

"Trailynn needs you." she tells me after yelling at me for probably suggesting the unsuggestable.. "You'll need help," i tell her, decided already, because i wont let her go alone, she may not know it, but i wont let any friend alone if they're in trouble... If trai wants she can follow, but i doubt id let her do that.

Trailynn is silent, so am i, i wonder if Rory knows how deeply and truly we feel about her, our friend, "Rory, please..." i ask her again, hurt and pain surfacing through my words.

"are you sure?" i ask a bit unsettles at her tone, "Really, I want to go with you," I tell her, because i dont want her to get hurt... I look up to see trai about to speak.