Spite and Envy (zakattak)

Charm blushed and gritted his teeth. He hadn’t even realized he was stammering over his words. He never did that! He looked at Saber as if to say something for a moment but then looked away, disgusted with himself for stuttering like that. Clearly it wasn’t safe to talk, so he continued on in silence, looking at everything except for Saber. Of course, there wasn’t much to see. The rain was so thick now that he could hardly see in front of him. The winds of the storm were also really starting to pick up around them, and coupled with the wetness of the rain, Charm was freezing. His teeth shifted from gritting to chattering as a large gust smacked into the boy. The umbrella was practically useless in this storm. He folded his arms and rubbed his hands against his sides for warmth, but he was too soaked for it to do any good.

As much as he tried to fight it, his body betrayed him and began shivering. He was only in a light, cotton t-shirt and a pair of torn up jeans after all. He wasn’t looking forward to working out today either. By this point his gym bag was soaked through too and he would have nothing but wet clothes to run around in. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t realized he was subconsciously moving closer to Saber for warmth, until he felt his arm right up against Saber’s wet hoodie. Though he was wet too, he could feel the warmth radiating from Saber’s body, and it was nice. If what Saber said last night was true, it wouldn’t bother him, so Charm decided to pretend not to notice their physical contact and kept walking in that way.

Saber’s damp hoodie wasn’t exactly the best thing to warm him up, but Saber’s large arm wrapped around him certainly got Charm’s blood pumping. He could feel the heat radiating from his cheeks as he looked up at Saber with a surprised look in his eyes. The way he held Charm was so gentle and seemed so genuine… it was so unlike his usual brutal and aggressive nature. Charm couldn’t help be give a small laugh at the uncharacteristically goofy looking smile on Saber’s face.

He gave the offer a moment of thought. Saber had a good point; training in wet clothes was always the worst. This would also give him a better chance to figure things out from last night. Even if it was all a lie, Charm wasn’t afraid to take on Saber. He decided to go, but still keep his guard way up.

Charm shrugged and kept a casual tone as he answered, “Sure, why not?”

From there he let his mind wander to a world where Saber and Charm were a couple. Everyone would be shocked. The two had been at each other’s throats since they had met. Then again, maybe people wouldn’t be surprised at all. Plenty of their friends teased them about their “sexual tension”. Charm was starting to think he was in denial after all. He had no experience in this department so how should he know. Then again the signs should have made it obvious... His rivalry with Saber was always at the forefront of his mind, i.e. Saber was always on his mind. He never gave other boys much mind in that way.

Charm let Saber lead him to his house without saying another word. He hated awkward situations and he was beginning to panic that he had just chosen to walk straight into one.

When they reached the front door, Charm noticed the house was about the same as his own. He knew Saber also came from money in District 1, seeing as almost everyone in their training circle did. He smiled a bit to himself as the door was held open for him. Though this was a regular occurrence in Charm’s every day life, the fact that Saber did something so polite made it somehow special. First the umbrella, and now this… Charm could see the Saber seemed to actually be genuinely trying to be kind to him. How long could he keep his defenses up and question Saber’s motives before his emotions and hormones took over?

He followed Saber upstairs into his bedroom. It was about the same size as Charm’s but almost completely opposite. It was completely untidy and definitely smelled like that typical teenage boy room. In a way though, it was a little insightful. This tough guy who tried to seem so put together really was a mess. Then again, Charm might let his own room look like this if he didn’t have his parents breathing down his neck to keep up his “image”.

Charm caught the clothes as Saber threw them over to him. He eyed them for a moment; they were definitely going to be too large for him. He considered cracking a fat joke or something, but when he looked back up, all thoughts of that left his mind. Saber had thrown off his shirt to reveal his huge, muscular physique and started stripping down his pants too before blushing and leaving in a hurry.

This time, Charm fully smiled and let out a little laugh. Since when was Saber modest about anything? He quickly slipped out of his drenched clothes and tried to dry off a bit before putting on Saber’s seat pants that he had been given to borrow. He pulled the draw string as tight as he could, but the pants still slid down his butt. The sweatshirt was just as bad, and he looked as if he was wearing a large cotton sack. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself and let the fabric warm his skin. It was so nice to be in warm, dry clothes.

Saber still wasn’t back from changing though, so he walked around the room taking not of little things here and there. The knives on the wall were a bit nerve-wracking. Saber was an excellent knife thrower, but why the heck was he throwing them in his own room. Then again, Charm wasn’t exactly surprised.

There was a dry erase board leaning against a wall with some notes scribbled all over it about various weapons and fighting techniques. Charm laughed at a small doodle in the bottom corner of Saber holding a sword. Charm found the marker for the board and sat down to add a drawing of his own. He made a stick figure with another sword to represent himself. In between the figure of him and Saber he drew a little heart but quickly erased it. He bit his lip and began to wonder if he and Saber would kiss again...

Charm looked up in surprise. His cheeks flooded with warmth as a crimson blush took place. He desperately hopes that Saber had not seen him place the heart, and by the gruff tone in his voice, Charm assumed he hadn’t.

“Oh um… nothing,” He said with a nervous laugh. He leaned a little in front of his drawing.

Saber was really close behind him. Charm could feel the heat radiating from his large body as he sat near him. The wet and rain had left him so cold that he could not currently feel his hands, feet or nose. The warmth emitted from Saber seemed to beg Charm to lean in closer.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that there was still a faint notion of the heart left behind by the erased marks from his doodle. His eyes widened a bit when he realized it and he quickly glanced back at Saber with an innocent grin, hoping he didn’t see.

“So, do you want to tell me why exactly you invited me to skip practice with you? Or am I going to have to guess?” His tone was curious and cautionary. Now that there was not a constant edge of animosity between them, the fact of how attractive he had found Saber all along was staring him blankly in the face. A new fear began to peak in the corners of his mind though. The quality Charm had always been attracted to in Saber was that he had never been won over by his natural charm. He was the boy who could always put Charm in his place, and what if suddenly Saber fell in line just like all of the others. He didn’t want that. He sighed inside of his thoughts.

Charm swallowed as he took in everything Saber had said. It was a lot to process, and he sat quietly for a few moments. He wasn’t exactly sure what to say. He couldn’t deny that he was attracted to Saber in his own way, and now that the possibility of a “them” was being presented, he had to question everything. He considered pulling his usual coy act he used on both boys and girls, but he knew as always, Saber would see through it. So he decided honesty was the best route.

He locked eyes with the huge boy in front of him. Saber was so large and overbearing, and his whole presence seemed to engulf Charm as he gazed into those hazel eyes. Charm took a deep breath and finally spoke.

“Saber, do you remember when I first joined the training center? I tried so hard to get your attention in a positive way… I tried so hard to make you like me. You were the first person I’ve ever met who was not instantly enthralled by me… It was a challenge I’ve never faced. I wanted nothing more than your admiration, but when you fought dirty, I had no choice but to fight right back—it’s in my nature.“ He paused a moment, biting his lip as he tried to find more words.

“I’m not going to lie, this is still all sort of coming as a shock, because with the way you’ve treated me, I just knew you genuinely hated me for some reason… and I can’t exactly say I’m innocent in all of this either. I’ve said and done awful things too… but I fight back so hard because I guess, this rivalry we have… well … I don’t know…. I mean, if I really think about it, you’re one of the most important people in my life. You kind of keep me grounded in a way.

Last night, you told me that your parents don’t give you any attention… well my problem is the opposite. Do you know what it’s like to have every miniscule flaw you have picked apart by the two people you want to impress and please the most? Then to top it all off, they pay to have you changed… I’ve been taught all of my life to put on this front and everyone always falls at my feet for my looks and my… well, charm, but I don’t think anyone likes me for me… how can they? I don’t even know who the real me is… and, I know this is going to sound weird or creepy, but when we fight and when I look at you, I feel real. You don’t treat me like everyone else, and I guess I’ve always needed that.”

Charm looked away and sighed heavily. He looked out of the rain-splattered window and listened to the roar of the rain mixed with thunder for a moment. His chest felt lighter—as he was speaking to Saber, he was really just realizing a lot of this information himself, and it was like a breathe of fresh air to finally face some of his insecurities. He looked back at Saber and gave him a small, half-smile.

“Look, I don’t really know a lot about dating, and I know that whatever happens from here is likely to be a bumpy road for us… Like I told you, you’re one of the most important people in my life, and we obviously have some sort of intense connection to one another. It’s going to take a while for me to trust you, but if I sat here and told you that I didn’t want you in some way, I would be lying….”

Charm leaned forward and grabbed both of Saber’s hands and gently raised them over his head as he pushed the bulky boy slowly to the ground. He laid on top of Saber and held his face a few inches above his.

“So maybe we can still be at each others throats, but in a new way?”

Charm leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Saber’s for their second kiss.