D1 // Victor Drake [DONE]

( N A M E ) Victor Samael Drake
( A G E ) Eighteen
( D I S T R I C T) One
( G E N D E R ) Male

Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time he closed his eyes
When he was just a boy
He expected the world
He ran away in his sleep

( B I O G R A P H Y )

Before the company went broke (and I found myself in an orphanage, where I became a beggar, no longer a king), I can still remember when I would stand up there perched above, leaning slightly forwards to gaze over the edge. It was the tallest building in the whole of district one and when I stood up there I felt above them all. I felt as though I could fly. My eyes would sparkle like a greedy child's, and I could feel the cool breeze dance across the air. When I raised my arms and the wind caught them I wanted to jump and soar like the birds that circled around the top of the building.I wanted to fly. The air sung a song and I moved to it, feeling my way up to the edge before standing up and looking down. And I gazed down on my world. Like the king that I was I looked at everything I owned, the people that were mine and the lands, the buildings and the Earth. At times I believed I could own everything, from the core of the Earth to the sky. Because to me the sky was not an impossible feat.

I know what they all say about me, they all say I'm insane, and maybe I am, I was born of the wrong stuff. I was born in a time when my mother was a heavy drinker and my father, kind dear father hit her. I hear the rumors, it is hard not to hear them when you live in an orphanage. It is hard not to see them. I hate the way the room falls silent when you walk in as though there is no other person more visible, more precious, more scornful and vile then you. They all stop, they all stare at me as though I am some kind of animal. They all say that I'm some kind of monster. Just because of what my mother did why I was still in her womb, she went crazy they say, and because I was part of her for that spam of time, I "caught it". I'm crazy.

There hushed whispers bit into my skin more than i would ever let on. It hurts. It hurts to even admit it to myself, but I hate it and because of their stories of lies I hate me. I let them build up inside me and I get angry, i feel it in me, I feel it fill me and I fear it. It scares me when I feel the anger and hate rise in me, the pain and suffering, as my vulnerability it stabbed. As everyone one of those stupid little kids picks and plucks at it. Digging in their fingers and pulling, they pull it and push it and make it affect me. They make me hate me, they make me get real angry, so angry that I can feel it race to my face and I know thy can see it. They see my pain and suffering as their joy and they snatch it, but they never ever take it, no they only mold it and shape it so that I feel it more. When they push the final bit into shape it consumes me, it races through my body like fire, filling me to the brim and I lash out with all my rage, pain and fear. I strike with the power of the dragon, I hurt them, but I can never reach them.

My long talons always fall short, they slip and I grasp nothing in my fangs, my teeth, my nails, my spikes, I feel no flesh, no pain, no release for the anguish that is bottled up inside me. All of them are better then me. They all say it.

Not a single day slips by without a curse, no day seems to pass without a stab of pain racing through my chest. No day goes by silently, there is always a person who taunts me, pulling at the strings that control me, making me do things I don't want to believe. Sometimes they cut my strings and leave me so saw and sick, so ill and scared that it takes every ounce of strength that i have to spill no tears. And at night, in my dreams I do cry. There is no relief in my dreams as there is in day, but I never raise a finger against their cold hearts, because I can't. There is no evil in my heart. I was raised in a strong powerful family, with parents that believed in utter good. Yet, everyday that I spend in this hell taints me and slowly I am driven towards insanity, but perhaps I already am insane, the best people always are.

I don't have friends. Scruffy, rough me has no friends. No one likes the kid with the hair that is cut by them self, with a blade so blunt that it slips, and even though it is blunt it still has the strength to slit my skin, with every slip of my hand that I make. They hate me, once when I was robed in the expensive clothes they would have fallen at my feet, they would have told me that they loved me. Now they only spit on me and the pathetic excuse of the things I call clothes that hang in my pathetically small frame. The eyes that have become part of me scare them, my sister, Danny never says it, but how could she? She fears me as well, she hates me as much as the rest of them. There is too much pain there, too much cold agony that lingers behind them. I always try not to see it, but they all see it, they all use it against me.

It builds as a fire does, it grows as more and more wood and kindling is thrown into it. my fire has been growing in my since the day my parents died. The fire is raging beneath my skin and it is building, growing stronger, taller and more powerful with every sly word, every cunning remark or hit or punch that causes me pain. They feed it with their words, they make it grow, because none of them can see the wall of rage that pushes against me, none of them can feel the heat that dances below my skin. It is invisible to their eyes as it is to my own. I could never feel it, all I knew was that my agony was eating away on the inside of me, the light of everyday stabbed me until I bled. Until all the bled that kept me going was drained and I fell. I knew that when I stopped I would never keep going, I would let my fury consume me and it would kill me.

"You should die. Die Vicky, go rot in hell with your parents, with the only people that could ever love you. You are never going to leave this place until you are dead. No one wants you, because you are a loser, you are nothing, you are no one."

To this day I'm still unsure if it was that comment that made me break. It was like someone had pelted a ball at the glass wall that was all that stood between my rage and these people. It shattered and as it collapsed and broke into a million shards I felt it race through me. It burned through my soul and body like a tsunami, it crashed and flowed faster than anything I had ever felt, it bit into my skin and took over me. You see the pain built up inside me. It bides it's time in the very depths of my body where no one could reach it and see it. Whenever I tried to release it, it slipped through my trembling fingers and hide far from my reach until I could not control it. It stayed away from me so that the day that I cracked I wouldn't be able to stop it. While it hide it eat me.

It consumed every bit of good that still stayed in my body, it bit into my flesh and tore away the pure parts and replaced it with burnt, pure evil. It destroyed me, it stopped me from being me. I became insane, the thing that they all said I was.

When I burst my rage and fury turned on her. I hit her and bashed her in a way that i never meant to do. I hurt Danny, i hurt her until she was crying and screaming to die and when that happened I stopped, but it was still there and it turned on me and I started hurting me. I started killing myself, I hit myself, I hurt myself, I destroyed every essence of the boy that I had once been. I killed the boy that dreamed of standing on a building and flying, I killed the boy that wanted to be the prince of a rising world. And instead I became a king of a falling world. Of a world where there was no good, of a world where the foundations stood by anger and fear built the towers high, and pain made the birds scream and people cried because I wanted them to.

I'm rotted to the core, cut me open and all you will see is black.

"I didn't mean it, no please, I didn't mean it, I never wanted to hurt her."

They often come to me these days. There there, embedded into my heart. They whisper to me in the chill morning air, like a ghost. I hurt her, I hurt her so bad my own hands feel as though they are stained with her blood. When I sleep at night her screams torment me and it only makes me angry, it make me feel weak and stupid. But I never meant it. I truly never meant it and this truthful, but false lie plagues me and I know it will till the day I die.

I hurt her because I couldn't hurt anyone else. At first I never meant it, I never wanted to see my sister cry, and more so cry because of me. But after that it felt good. I liked knowing that in this world there was someone weaker than I was. That there was someone I could hurt and bend to my will. There was one person in this cruel world that couldn't hurt me like they did. It makes me feel powerful, it makes me feel as though I have some touch of control over my life, as little as it is. I had to hit her, I needed it. It never stops, they still pick and tease me and I need to hurt her, I need to feel her pain to make me feel better. If I didn't hurt her it would kill me and no matter what anyone says I am not ready to die. But it never fixed me, it never made the pain go away. It never stopped the sharp ache that ruled my body and made me hurt. It was always there, I'm sure that it always will be.

I got worse. I became destroyed. They consumed me, destroyed me and changed me. I am evil. I became a monster, no a dragon, burst forth from the flames of a fire filled with my very own screams of pain.

And the bullets catch in his teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night he'll close his eyes

( C O D E W O R D )

<img src="http://i41.tinypic.com/16h2ibt.png">

And the bullets catch in his teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night he'll close his eyes

( O T H E R )

Template credit to Lalia <3

Faceclaim is Jamie Bell

Paradise by Coldplay

In the night the stormy night away he'd fly
And dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

( T H I N K I N G ) BA7347
( H E A R I N G ) 9B7451
( M A I N ) 7C765A
( O T H E R ) 5D7764
( T A L K I N G ) 3E786D

Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
La-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
He'd say, "oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise"