What to Do.... (Cinder)

Reading had never interested Jezebel much. She saw the nerds at school who sat in shadowed corners with their faces buried in books and immediately came to the conclusion that reading was a symptom of eternal nerddom. Geeks did not have friends, they did not go out in public unless it was something mildly important like the Reaping. They hardly ever uttered a word to anybody, and stared at Jez with big eyes filled with emotions she could not describe because she had never been misunderstood and strange, not once in her life. Well, technically she was and always had been Strange, Jezebel thought to herself, pleased by her sense of humor. Her name was Jezebel Winston-Strange!

Feeling smug because Jez was funny, pretty and young, she crossed the street to avoid him. There was a nerd outside, walking down the street with his nose buried in a book. This was an oxymoron to contemplate later, better not to be confronted by this "unique" individual who faced the light of day and seemed perfectly content in the company of people, but had to be a nerd if he was reading in public. It scared Jez, made her feel guilty for thinking herself better than him. She dropped her eyes to the ground as he approached her, even though Jez had been a road in between them. As soon as she did so, the strangest thing happened to the strange boy who Miss Strange had been watching just a moment or two before.

He walked into a wall. Jez supposed he had read something incredibly shocking in that little book of his. Really she didn't care, just cringed and shrank away as the book fell into a mud-puddle. Finally the boy looked around at the world he had been so desperate to ignore. She turned her face away, but he hadn't noticed her.

Huh. That was weird. Even geeks usually liked to eye Jezebel. She was cute and bubbly and fun to look at, no point in denying it. His eyes had slid right by her before he picked the book up and inspected it. A sour expression crossed the boys face, and indeed this was just a boy, hardly older than young Jezebel herself. Only when he was looking so moodily at the ruined nerd artifact did Jez realize he was handsome. Dark hair and light eyes, not a striking face like her own, but one that probably made geeky gaggles of girls flock to him. She found this highly entertaining. Good looking boy who likes to walk around, but also clearly not of the same social standings as herself. People just didn't understand the way of the world!

Feeling drunk off her "strange" thoughts, the adventurous girl marched herself across the road, leaving mud and dirt flying in her wake. She positioned herself half in front of the oxymoron and smiled for all her worth, looking every bit the cheerful, Saintly idiot that most nerds of District Twelve thought she was. What can I say? Jezebel has an air about her that turned off intelligent people, it was an effortlessly winning smile and a suspicious free stance. People don't like to understood by girls like her, girls who "don't know how hard it is." Well, this unfriendly geek was going to have to deal with her now.

The world was a funny place to live in, Jezebel privately mused to herself as the reader pushed past her small-sized human-barrier. You have strange girls with the name Strange, and reject boys rejecting pretty girls. Life was chaos and order all rolled up in one, it was never predictable except in the case of Jezebel Winston-Strange. When she saw hungry animals on the street, they came up to her and licked her hand, never biting or giving her some rare disease. Teachers called on her often enough during class, but they never asked her hard questions that would embarrass the fragile angel. Many teenagers, especially in Panem, talked about having the whole world working against them.

In this perky girls case, the whole world was with her under the guise of luck, natural talent and compassionate friends. Jezebel recoiled as though the nerdy boy had slapped her. A betrayal! What a betrayal, it seemed the world had finally decided Jezebel had had more than enough luck in her fifteen years in District Twelve. This very well may be the beginning of the end. She felt such despair at the thought, wished for her older, twin protectors to be here to comfort Jezebel. If Anyandita and Aleksander had been flanking her, this multi-tasking boy would not have been able to slip by her so easily.

She glowered for a moment, but soon the shining optimist buried down deep inside worked its way up to the surface. Well, life may have betrayed Jezebel but she was still beautiful and still charming. That and although her legs were short and twig-like, the girl could really run. She jogged a little ways to catch up with the geek, slowing to his pace. Another good thing about readers like him--they hardly ever exercised their bodies. Even if the rude teen wanted to, he could not run from Jez, she would follow and she would outrace him, outdistance him, embarrass the young man until he finally would stop and ask in a breathless voice, WHAT?

Well, come to think about it, maybe that wasn't the smartest move. Better to enable him now, position herself in front of him and start talking before he had a chance to flee. She did a little jig, and began to backwards jog in front of the fast mover. "My name's Jezebel, are you okay?" she asked innocently because no matter what people tell you, it isn't the stupid words you speak, its the reassuring tone and smooth charm that goes along with it and makes people think you're cool. Jez could have pointed to herself and calmly told the walking encyclopedia book-reader Me am Jezebel! and with the right inflictions, she could sound just as sweet and smart.

With those words still dangling in the air between them, Jez felt her foot land on a mud-covered rock. She made a comical noise before clawing at the nerd in order to avoid falling into a puddle. Jez steadied herself and turned on another one of her Winning Smiles. If things were to go well, she would need to use a lot of her charm...

Offering up a smile that said I'm fine, thank you! Jezebel found her mouth moving to speak those words, but instead with a jokingly spiteful expression on her face, she began to say something completely different. Off with the polite words of a prim & proper girl, in with the tones of a slightly sarcastic, unintentionally hilarious teen who had just fallen in the mud and probably ruined her outfit.

"Bitter boy! It's not nice to laugh at me," Jez accused the nerd, knowing he would not take offense. Jezebel was well aware of the fact that when a good-looking female teases a boy, no matter what shape, color or disposition, he will not take offense. It was practically a rule! Jezebel had gotten used to cracking not-so-funny jokes in most of her classes.

The strange thing about her words were that they flew out of her mouth before she could do anything to stop herself. She liked the boyish giggle, it made her feel important and special. Popular people never really laughed, they never actually smiled either. It was all fake hugs and love that had been practiced and perfected in front of a mirror. Jezebel had gotten used to it, but she still tried to coax real amusement and happiness out of people whenever she could. Hello, my name is Jezebel Winston-Strange and I am addicted to ecstasy joy. That in itself sounded funny enough that Jez beamed up at the stranger like a puppy being rewarded for not peeing all over a carpet. Yeh, when Jezebel was little she had smiled down at her little puppy often enough to know that positive reinforcement and a cheerful way about you is the only way to survive the cut-throat world. Sounds a little morbid and wrong when you think about it, but already Jezebel was onto a new subject in her head. Clothes.

His book had been ruined by the muddy puddle and although Jezebel was well off, clothes simply do not grow on trees. She let hopelessly tragic expression take control of her face. Dark red eyebrows knitted together and her eyes grew wide with sadness. Jezebel puckered her lips and reached a hand down to the back of her thighs, searching for the filthy, brown mud that had surely already seeped through her pants. Oh thank God! she thought. The world was still on her side! She had made the contradictory boy laugh, and avoided the splashing, mucky puddle of mud. Jez had some dirt pasted to the back of her legs, but nothing she could not deal with later.

She eyed the book with distaste and curiosity. From far away it had appeared to be hopelessly ruined, but from here the book just looked old and worn out, its pages dog-eared in random places, and a few smudges on the cover. It seemed this stranger had been lucky too. He hadn't walked head-first into the wall, no concussion for him, and his book looked to be in the same condition as Jezebels school textbooks. Nothing a little hard work and a moist towel wouldn't cure. Good news: This boy looked like the loner type, which meant he probably had loads of time to spend locked alone in his room. People with no friends had it easy sometimes!

This kid obviously was not as intelligent as your garden-variety geek, or he was even more socially awkward than Jez had originally guessed. Either way, he didn't catch the sarcastic, playful tones of her high, baby-cute voice. Hey, this boy hadn't realized he was walking into a wall a few minutes ago. Jezebel felt an unfamiliar sting of remorse for having joked around with a sensitive person. If a boy had teasingly called her easy, she would have burst into tears. Hey, everybody has a soft spot. It was nice to catch an apology from the stranger--really he was a serious one!--but Jez was start to get annoyed by his timidness. That initial giggling had cheered her up, made her think she was right. He was no nerd, but an alright guy in disguise. Obviously Jezebel wasn't as much of a people-person as she had been told, for she was unable to piece together the parts of the mysterious reader. Still looking thoughtfully down at his book, Jez heard the echo of his words. Had she read the book? Had Jezebel Winston-Strange ever read a book in her life, including those boring textbooks on how a bunch of people died just about sixty years ago? What. A Laugh.

A grin twitched at her lips. She fought it nobly in an attempt to be polite in front of the overly emotional loner that Jez herself had confronted. "I don't really read much," she told him matter-o-factly, a full fledged grin suddenly seizing control of her sparkling face. The amusement of the situation was too much for adventurous, free Jez to handle. She was incapable of keeping her feelings buried down deep inside of herself. People don't get popular by holding in a bunch of scary, emo thoughts. At least, Jez had not gotten to be so well liked that way. Come to think about it, she had no idea why people seemingly adored her. Possibly something in her red-haired, electric genes? Anyways, whatever, Jez was so flipping amazing an she didn't read books. It made the girl want to roll her big, blue eyes.

It was funny that he had thought she'd read the book before. Usually people looked at Jez and thought she was an air-head, you could tell by the expression on their face right before they realized she was a popular airhead and they started to suck up to her. Yeah, yeah, Jez knew her life was just so awful. It 'sucked.' She shook her head at the ridiculous thought, knowing that it was a blasphemous lie. A shopkeepers daughter always got the best, Jezebel complaining about her life was just wrong. You can't walk through life with your head in the sky, or worse, in a book. You need to live life because no matter what, it is not as bad as one thinks it is. Jezebel had watched her brother as he slowly became a drug addict and his health declined. She had seen drunk Shopkeepers beat their wives. Boys who had money to buy books? Well, Jez was hoping to cure this nerd of his eternal nerddom.

ooc-- I know youre leaving soon so I posted crabby post, will edit later.

The fruit bowl was sitting in front of Jezebel, tempting her with delicious goods imported from their friendly, smuggling Peacekeeper acquaintances who rode the train from District Eleven. She raised a slim hand to her stomach as it tightened with hunger. Her other hand reached out rebelliously with a will all its own, stretching, wanting and needing the food. Her stomach cried out in pain before going completely numb as the pangs subsided. Jezebel was used to these feelings and urges so early in the morning. Nobody had these kind of urges in the morning but Jez. She voluntarily put herself through hell in order to bring a fruit a day to a friend at school who was known only as the poor Cathers girl. She was always hungry and periodically borrowed clothes from Jez. Hey, nobody gets such great cheek bones by eating three regular meals a day. Jezebel let her hand come out further, she was just barely grazing the smooth, red skin of an apple...

...and then she wasn't. Jezebel found her hand knocking something equally cool and smooth off of a table, but the shape was all wrong. Square, small with a papery feel that wreaked of knowledge. She frowned in her sleep, blue eyes still closed to the world. Jez made a tired noise and rolled over. She threw a lazy arm over the rim of her bed, ignoring the fact that her bed did not have a rim as it was situated against two walls. She breathed in deeply, smelling paper, dust and a flavorful edge that had originally reminded her of that fruit bowl. It was all fresh and new, this exotic bed.

Her eyes finally fluttered and opened. Her back was to Deklan, but instantly Jezebel heard the sound of a page fluttering back as nimble fingers flipped through a well-read book. She tossed over to the side, bolting up until she was properly sitting up in the bed, completely aware of now, but still muddled by how she had gotten to this point. Her eyes and ears greedily digested all the information available to the youngest Strange. She was obviously in this boys room (and I haven't even gotten to first base with him yet!, her mind cheerily supplied. Of course, Jez hadn't really made out with a boy in some years) How had she arrived in his bed? Jezebel mutely eyed Deklan, for she remembered his name. He didn't look capable of carrying a girl, even was so light as herself, anywhere far from the street they had met at. Good. She knew approximately what part of the District she was in at the moment.

Her mind slowly pieced together this puzzling experience until Jezebel finally understood it. Her dreams of eating food, her sudden dizzy spell, her eternally tiny body... she had fainted because of the heat and her numb, empty stomach. Recognition dawned on her face, followed closely by gratitude and a hint of pride. If she had been in his place and he in hers, things would have worked out differently. Mainly, this being on a good-looking strangers bed would have been a tad different.

She fell back, her head landing on his pillow as an oof escaped her pretty, pink lips. Jezebel licked them and breathed in the knowledge-scented air. "I... uh?" She told him, and privately thought to herself that the intellectual air had not done a thing for her IQ. Jezebel turned so that she was on her side, facing Deklan. Her eyes fluttered, but she simply watched him with a small, content smile on her face. Another wave of tiredness hit her and Jezebel was struck by the urge to be pulled under once again. She only just managed to murmur food before her blinking eyes shut again.

ooc- Oh Jez, kudos! You didn't have Cinders dirty thoughts!

Her second waking started off with Jezebel sitting up, swinging her legs over the side of his bed and almost throwing herself at Devlin... no Deklan, whatever. Point was that the boy had food and she was hungry. She hesitated before delicately grabbing the crackers, figuring it would take a shorter amount of time to stuff them down her throat than to try biting the brown-spotted apple. A minute or two later, small Jez felt her stomach filling up, the tell tale grumbling and faintness had left her as soon as that first cracker had touched the tip of her tongue.

She sighed deeply, sat on the edge of Deklan's bed and finally, with a start, looked up at him. She squinted a little bit then brought one hand to her mouth while the other slid down to her stomach. "Oh God!" she exclaimed through her mouth-muffling hand. Horror radiated from her stiff body, guilty expression and sudden green shade. She felt sick, sick to her full stomach. This kids room was small and the decorations weren't anything special. She hadn't been anywhere near the Shopkeepers part of town. Deklan was poor, or at least hungry most of the time.

"I can pay you back, I swear, here let me grab my... well I didn't bring anything over, um so here, c'mon lets go!" she told him, stood up and fell back on his head with a small sound of surprise. Oh. Well. Jezebel's arms flailed and she sputtered, trying to explain to Deklan that she was not one of those girls who tossed her cookies and wasted a fortunes worth of food for no good reason. She had been trying to help Edenia Cathers, the hungry girl, not hurt Deklan the poor boy. It was a laughable situation when you weren't in the shoes of a clueless empath like Jez Strange. When you were her, when you're me, it feels terrible and your head spins with dizziness over the prospect of eating dinner that is not your own. The room spins and you can't blame it on your empty stomach, you have to suck it up and just blame yourself for being such an idiot.

She had always known she wasn't particularly intelligent, but Jezebel had never guessed she would dump all her issues in a strangers lap. It was a terrible thing to do, made her want to cry but at the same time Jezebel fought the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. It was just another thing she'd have to burden Deklan with. He didn't have much food, she couldn't ask him for a tissue too. Jezebel bit wobbling lip and hugged her legs to her chest. Her feet left small dirt marks on the bed, just another mistake to add to her growing list. When had things gone so wrong? People told Jez she looked like an angel and acted like a saint, but when it came down to it she was just a demon. A tricky, tricky devil out to ruin the lives of any decent people she ever met.

ooc- might edit later but I have to go now. Feel free to reply (: