Locked In Chains

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Stare
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3,105 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Feb 15, 2024 23:43:11 GMT -5

and i will hold you tight / like the moon in the arms of the sky

Locked In Chains Jan 7, 2012 23:45:38 GMT -5

Post by Stare on Jan 7, 2012 23:45:38 GMT -5

They say what doesn't kill you can make you strong.
Now I know what it means.
You can try to bend but you ain't breaking my dreams.
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My worst fear? I press my lips together and stare off into the distance, silently considering his question. There are many things I should fear. Keepers. The Capitol. The reapings. But oddly enough, my fears have spiraled beyond those things. Into deeper, darker, more twisted kinds of agony that weave themselves into my nightmares in the forms of high pitched screams and dripping darkness.

"I'm afraid of a lot of things," I say quietly. "But the worst?" I press my lips together tightly, uncertain whether I should answer truthfully or not. Finally, I sigh. "I've seen so many horrors, Capitolite. But out of all those terrifying moments, the worst were always seeing them in pain. Any of them. I know that they're gone. But I don't want to find them. It's why I ran away. Or at least, part of the reason." I think of the monster and realize that as much as I fear it, I fear losing Flight more. And that's why our friendship remains strong despite all the hardships it has faced. "What about you? What do you fear more than anything else in the world?"

[/justify][/blockquote]

cass
Retired Staff

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last seen Oct 24, 2021 18:11:43 GMT -5

Locked In Chains Jan 16, 2012 7:56:20 GMT -5

Post by cass on Jan 16, 2012 7:56:20 GMT -5

Kormiko didn’t know what to say, he wanted to ignore her question and just sit there and think about Freya, he wanted to sit and think of all his mistakes. He wanted self-pity. Kormiko growls, he wouldn’t give himself it. He didn’t want it, self-pity was for the weak and Kormiko wasn’t weak in the slightest, he had more balls the most. Kormiko glares at the ceiling and at the tiny white light that glared at him. He didn’t want any of this. He felt as if he was to blame for everything that was happening. He couldn’t live with himself if Freya was hurt. He wouldn’t live if she was avoxed, but that was sadly all Kormiko could see. That was the only punishment he saw for what they had done, but he would do anything to protect her no matter what it took. No matter the cost.

Kormiko stopped. The question rolled through him. What did Kormiko fear the most of all things. So many answers poped into his mind… but all of them were just worries. None were actually fear. Kormiko sighs frustrated that this question was so difficult, frustrated at himself that the question was causing him so much difficulty. Why was this so hard? It was just a simple question, but it held no simple answer. Kormiko looks down at his feet. He was thinking so very hard. He wanted the right one, but he didn’t know what it was. No answer was right.

Kormiko takes a deep breath. “I don’t know, I fear so much it is just stupid, some of my worst nightmares are just dreams, but no matter how much they scare me all those fears aren’t important. I think the thing I fear the most isn’t something I fear for myself, but it is what I fear I can do to others. My greatest fear… is that my mistakes will hurt other people, that because of what I have done people will get hurt. My worst fear is going to come true.” Kormiko pauses and lets the words sink in, but the words weren’t for Luna, they were for him. They were for Kormiko to here. Kormiko fells the unfamiliar pricking sensation behind his eyes.

He didn’t know what it was. But then he thought. Freya was going to get hurt, she was going to be punished for Kormiko’s mistakes for his stupidity. Kormiko should have been the smart one, he should have been the one to tell Freya this was not right, he should have told her this was dangerous and that we shouldn’t do it. But no he had been immature, and now he was delving in self-pity, he was blaming himself for everything. Was nothing going to go right. Kormiko wipes his eyes, but finds them dry.

He wanted to get past this. He wanted to stop blaming himself for what he had done, when the truth was he had done nothing. Freya had done what she wanted it had been of her own right, no one had made her do nothing she didn’t want to do. Kormiko couldn’t blame himself for her mistakes. Kormiko slides off the bench and stands up stretching his sore legs. He moves up to the door and peers across the small hallway to the cell opposite, his eyes then search all the cells he can see, in the hope thathe might see her, but he doesn’t.

He didn’t know what to think so he didn’t, he numbly moved back to the bench and settled himself down. He leaned himself back gainst the wall and hoped, he hoped that she would be safe. More then anything he hoped that she didn’t blame him. He looks up at the bed above him. Where Luna sat. And he waited for her to say something, for her to give him any insight to her problems, any insight to how to help his problems. He just sat and waited. He just hoped Luna had the answers he didn’t for himself.

Kormiko wanted so much, but when all hope is slipping though your fingers, what have you got left to want? When you have lost almost everything you care about and everyone you love, what have you got to loose?

Kormiko sat up right as the though exploded into his mind. He cursed out loud and glared at the door. He wanted out. He wanted life again, Kormiko had just remembered that Freya wasn’t the only girl in his life. Kormiko had a girlfriend. A girl he hadn’t yet got rid of. A girl that had no clue he was here, a gilr that had no clue he was in love with Freya.

OOC: sorry it isn't coded xD

Last Edit: Apr 2, 2012 5:24:13 GMT -5 by cass

Stare
Retired Staff

3,105 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Feb 15, 2024 23:43:11 GMT -5

and i will hold you tight / like the moon in the arms of the sky

Locked In Chains May 1, 2012 21:30:18 GMT -5

Post by Stare on May 1, 2012 21:30:18 GMT -5

Luna Whitestone

How long can we keep this up?
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I am unceremoniously shoved into the cell the same way I was the first time around, but the tiny push can hardly compare to the horrors I experienced in interrogation. They should call it torture, for not a question was asked - there was only pain and tears and fire. My bones tumble against each other when I hit the floor, and yet it is a welcome feeling. I am back in my cell, where that madman cannot reach me. The side of my face still stings from the slamming impact of being thrown to the floor rather than pushed. I suspect that though the wound only sweats and does not bleed, a scab will be left on my cheekbone. For a moment, I lie on the floor, every inch of me still trembling, the trails of tears still sticky on my cheeks. My hair hangs in greasy clumps all around, fracturing my vision of the small world around me.

I'd be perfectly happy to lie there, pathetic and self pitying, but then I feel the other presence in the cell. I glance up through a tangle of black at Kormiko, midnight eyes tired and defeated, a tiny dribble of blood finding its way past my lips (my teeth cut the inside of my cheek when I hit the ground in Interrogation). I actually consider staying where I am, because it seems as if every ounce of energy has been drained from me. I can still feel the heat on my skin that hung so thick in the air, and I am certain bruises are spreading against my milky skin from when he choked me. My breaths are ragged now, and it hurts to swallow. I’m an injured warrior returning from battle, and the worst part is that I have lost. But I ignore all those thoughts and force myself onto one knee and then both my feet, careful not to put any pressure on my injured hands. I doubt they’re broken, but pain still glides with ease around bruised bones and knuckles.

I make my way over to the bed he claimed as his, knowing I’d never be able to make it up to my own, and curl up on the hard metal surface, watching him for a very long time through the blur of my fresh tears. Now that the whole thing is over, my strength has vanished. The psychological aspect of it all has taken its toll on me – my twig-like limbs shake despite my muscles tensing in an attempt to stop them, the tears refuse to cease, and my stomach clenches tightly. I can still hear her screams ringing around in my ears, still feel the cold metal handle in hand. The burn on my throat pulses once, twice, three times, and my back curves inward in an attempt to just make it all go away. But of course, it doesn’t. Agony sings its horrible lullaby everywhere and I am captured as its lone audience member.

Gasping back the sobs pushing up from my chest, I tilt my chin upward to look at him. So fresh from their molds, so fragile and new to the world of crime and rebellion. If Flight and I cracked so easily, will he shatter at even the slightest of their touches? I know he must have questions. What happened in there? But I will never tell him of the pain, of the fear, of the fire. I finally understand Flight’s silence when she returned from this place the first time – not only do I not wish to terrify him, but I am not strong enough to relive those moments, even if just through words. I don’t want to remember. But of course, that torture is something I will never forget. The face of the madman will never fade from my mind.

I lie for a long time in that position, trembling, wondering how exactly I will convey to him that I cannot repeat the nightmarish events that occurred in the sterile white room. Eventually, I drag aching bones together and push myself up into a sitting position next to him. I am weak, and we both know it now. I think of all those moments in my past when I stumbled through life without a single person to comfort me – my mother missing, Ari and Jasik most likely dead, Flight unreachable. I had to face that pain alone. And now… now there is someone. He may still be a stranger to me, but he’s still someone. “I have found new things to fear, Capitolite.”

And with that, I collapse against him, sobbing.