Nemesis Anastasiya d3 {done}

Nemesis Anastasiya/ Female/ Fourteen/ District Three

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling wanting to wake up, but the fear of my dad seeing me stops me. He'll judge me, and I don't want to be judged. Don't judge me by my looks. I won't be nice to you if you judge me because I want to be who I am. My dad always told me to strive to be the best, and that's exactly what I'm doing although I struggle to find what I want. My future seems hopeless, but who says it has to be that way? I want to grow up and be something important more than what I am now; however, that will take a while because I don't know who I am now. I'm surrounded by voices that tell me what to do. These voices tell me to do bad things. I try to fight them, but they tell me they will harm me if I don't, and I don't want to be harmed. I want to be left alone because it's not nice to harm people. I try to ignore the voices, but the longer I ignore them the louder they become. I just want to live a normal life without them, but when I tell them that they get mad. They punish me because I don't want them to be with me. Will I ever gain control over them?

My feet touch the ground as I roll out of bed. My head spins making me dizzy every step I take. My head throbs in pain begging me to lay back down and go back to sleep, but I don't know how. I've slept as much as I can, but my mind isn't awake yet. The pressure behind my tiny, angular blue eyes make me feel like they are going to fly out of my head. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I try to search my brain to figure out why I feel like I do, but I find nothing. I don't remember anything about the night before. Nothing rings a bell. It's not the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last. I walk slowly across the room to the mirror that's covered in dust as it hasn't been cleaned in ages. My feet stop in front of it, and my chin drops to the floor. My strawberry blonde hair is a tangled rats nest. It's shorter than usual because of the rats nest. Usually, my straight hair falls right below my shoulders. My tan face is covered in bruises hiding the freckles. What's going on with me? I want to run away from the mirror, but I stand in shock unsure of what to do. I've woken up like this several times, but this one is worse than the others.

My once beautiful eyes are swollen, black, and blue. My nose appears to be broken in several places. Right below my nose is covered in red that I assume is blood. I want to run away from what I see because it has to be my imagination. It has to be 'them' playing tricks on me. I can't look like this. It must be one of my many nightmares that I have every single night when I sleep, but why would the mirror show me this? It's my reflection, so it has to be true. Lacerations cover the length of my arm. "You did well last night Nemesis. You did exactly what I-we wanted you to do. Don't be afraid because it went exactly as planned." I shake my head. No, I didn't do this to myself. I would never harm myself, but they would harm me. My heart races inside my chest as my hands clinch into fists. My breathing picks up as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. "No! lies are fed to me. You want me to be with you see, but I have know way to be with you." I slam my fist as hard as I can into the mirror not wanting to see anymore. I scream at the top of my lungs as I back towards my bed. I wave my arms in front of me blocking them from getting me. It's terrifying.

I was never same. Go away just away with you. I wasn't always this way. I loved talking to people. I loved being around them when I was younger because it was the way I was supposed to be. I was loyal to my friends and my family. I didn't want to do anything to harm them. I did well in school. I went to classes like I was supposed to. I was extremely outgoing. I would walk up to everyone and talk to them. I would stand up for those being bullied. I couldn't tolerate it. It annoyed me when people treated others like trash because everyone deserved to be the same. I was honest with others. I wasn't afraid of having to lie to them because they accepted me for the truths. They were my friends. I valued respect. I treated others the way I wanted to be treated because that's how my mom and my dad raised me. They raised me the right way knowing I'd grow up with the knowledge of right and wrong. I didn't want to do wrong because it brought punishment. I knew what I was supposed to do until they started speaking to me.

"Nobody wants to be around you. You should go away because everyone hates you. Even the animals of the world hates you." I ran away from home at the age of seven sending the peacekeepers on a district wide search to find me. I didn't want to be found. I didn't want anyone to find me because they said it wasn't worth it. They said nobody wants to be around me. The peacekeepers found me and dragged me back home warning me against running away again. My entire body was shaking in fear because they warned me against them. I was told the peacekeepers would harm me. The peacekeepers wouldn't keep the peace because I was a criminal. I ran away from home because everyone wanted to harm me, but nobody seemed to understand. Nobody understood what was going through my mind. Nobody understood that they were standing around talking to me. Nobody else could hear them. It was aggravating when I talked out loud when nobody was around me. People would stare as I cocked my head slightly to listen.

My mom found me one day in my room smashing my head against the wall. Blood was pouring down my face. I remember hearing a loud scream that frightened me more. I smashed my head harder and harder thinking I could escape, but nothing happened. "It's seems not the same." She looked at me confused, but she wouldn't leave. She stared at me as my dad came running in the door. He ran up behind me and grabbed my arms pulling me away from the wall. "Nemesis what are you doing?!" I thrashed around in his arms kicking my feet as hard as I could slamming into his stomach. "Nemesis, I just want to help you calm down. Just calm down. I don't want to hurt you." I trashed around like crazy trying to get down. "He's lying to you. He wants you dead don't listen to him." I start screaming at the top of my lungs as loud as I can. "Lies you lie telling me untruthful events. You hate me you see. My dad lets go of me. I take off running into the corner of the room curling into a ball. "Don't get closer."

My dad walks out of the room with a hand on his head. My mom stands there staring at me with her chin dropped to the floor. Tears flowing from her eyes. "Don't let the innocence fool you. She wants to kill you. Kill her!" I shake my head no holding my hands to my ears screaming as loud as I can. I bash the back of my head into the walls several times trying to get the voices to stop. They won't leave me alone. "Leave away from me. Go get out. Go be with her and don't be with me. Get out! Run from the fun because you are dumb!" Why are they like this. Why can't I escape? Am I a crazy? Am I needed to be locked up? I hate them, but they say they protect me against all harm. They are safe, but they harm me. The screaming continues at the top of my lungs as I look around unsure of what to do. Blood trickles down the back of my head as I repeatedly bash it against the wall. I hear my mom screaming again. My body shakes violently as they start talking to me. They tell me I'm not in control anymore.

I try to fight against them. I don't want them to be in charge. I don't want them to control me like they have. I must gain control. I must gain control of my life. I want to be happy. I want to make friends again, but they tell me it's impossible. I clinch my hands into fist as I stare at my mom. "I refuse killing. No attack allowed. NO!" My body convulses across the floor as I try to fight against them. I didn't want them to take control, but they wanted to. My dad comes running into my room as my mom continues to scream. She screams at the top of her lungs. The tone shatters my eardrums causing ringing to form louder and louder. I place my hands over my ears and scream with her as my body shakes without control. It's terrifying. They scream at me telling me I'm weak, I'm unable to do anything right. "You are a fool! Get away! Go! Attack her! Get her!" I take a deep breath trying to control the voice. "I have control. You don't I do. I control me you see don't try to be me." My mom ran out of the room never to be seen again.

oDair

Narration cc6622
Thoughts cc9955
Hearing 997755
Speech eeaa66
(other ffddaa)