Saber Hops [D4]

Intelligence is a curse. Anybody who tries to persuade you otherwise does not carry that burden.

Was that harsh? Sorry. I have an unhealthy tendency to speak bluntly. Euphemisms are not my style, and neither is hesitation.

If you're wondering why I'm telling you this; it's because I'm one of the cursed ones walking this Earth. I'm not beautiful, I'm not charming, I'm not a benevolent princess - no, I'm just intelligent. Nothing more, nothing less, and while people claim they would rather step into my shoes than remained planted in their own, part of me knows they're only fooling themselves. I'm aware that speaking lowly of my physical appearance (boyish, if you ask me. I always wear a stony expression no matter where I walk) is a sign of low self-esteem, but you can ask me if I care. The answer will always be no.

Beauty is too sacred a blessing to trade with my intelligence. I know from personal experience that one cannot possess both. Yes, there are people who you believe are, as you would say it, "pretty and smart!" Allow me to crush those beliefs. It is not my sole desire to give everyone a rude awakening, but there is no such person in existence. Beauty is very clear to the naked eye. You can try and say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," but again you're wrong. Beauty is easy to recognize. Intelligence, on the other hand, is measurable, yet never seems to be interpreted correctly by the observer. What you think is intelligence I may see as average or mediocre. Why does my opinion matter, you ask? Check out my IQ. You'll understand why I know exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm nothing special in the looks department. Dirty blonde hair, usually oily and unruly, grey eyes, big forehead, pointed chin, a masculine jaw and small curves. Like I said, nothing special, and before you ask I'm not a career either. I'm not saying I don't have the body - I'm positive that my figure is meant to carry heavier muscles - but I don't have the training, nor am I interested in that lifestyle. Mathematically I know my reaping odds. They're worse with each coming year, but they're still low enough to leave me feeling confident during every ceremony. I know I won't be entering the Games anytime soon, if at all, so career training is not necessary.

People try to offer comforting words whenever I casually mention the state of my appearance. They insist that "inner beauty" is what truly matters. I pretend not to know that they're referring to my personality, and tell them that my organs are not appealing. I think it's amusing, but they never seem to agree. I can safely say, however, that my personality is not very dazzling. If you haven't noticed already (I will judge you for your severe lack of observational skills if you honestly haven't), I'm very condescending. I rely on logic far too often and neglect to consider others' emotions when I express my thoughts. I never seem to care when I offend somebody, as much as it upsets him/her. I understand why they react so emotionally, I just don't bother to give it much thought. You could translate "condescending" into simpler terms that I've heard before: apathetic, bitch, cold-hearted, rude - the list continues. Do the insults actually affect me? No, not really, because at the end of the day I still possess the superior intellect. The ones who hate me are beneath me.

Before you begin your harsh judgments, allow me to add that I don't think I'm some perfect, divine being. I'm not a Goddess, and I'm not the smartest girl on the planet (I'm only fourteen, that's impossible). There will always be somebody who is more educated than I am. Take district six, for instance, the district of science. The researchers there are experts at chemistry, biology, physics, medicine and engineering. I only know as much as our schools will teach me, and as much as books will offer me. I cannot be a master in any of those fields, therefore I am not the most intelligent human on the planet. So before you bother trying to call me out, just know that I can admit that I have flaws. I just don't do it very often. It's unhealthy to deflate my confidence like that.

This arrogant attitude of mine causes me to butt heads with family members quite often. I don't mind, because I consider families without conflict to be strange and destructive. I have five siblings and two parents (yep, that's right, no tragic story about a dead parent or a divorced couple. We're a normal family, if "normal" actually exists), but with our eldest brother acting the way he does we might as well have three parents. He's an intelligent boy with a passion for business. When it comes to "book smarts," I'm the superior one, obviously, but he's intelligent in a different way and I appreciate him for that. I also have an obnoxious younger brother, Faberge. We call him "Berber." Don't bother asking why. He's rather rebellious, and from what I've observed he is the type that behaves bitterly toward my arrogant tendencies. He fails to appreciate my belief in my higher status, but that's his problem. His issues are not puzzles that I'd like to solve. Call me a bad sister if you want, and while you're at it you can ask me if I care again. You should already know the answer to that question.

It is thanks to Elite (my apologies, I never mentioned his name) that I've come to know/meet the Vespolis. His hopeless crush on Catalina makes the experience even better. They're a large family bathed in poverty, living in a shipwrecked vessel with little resources to spare. Their garden is their most prized possession. I enjoy their company as much as they enjoy mine (or so I hope), and trying to match all of the names with faces and personalities is quite the challenge. I will never be as acquainted with them as Leet is, however, but that's only because I'm awful at forming friendships. There is no need to wonder why. I think I've made it obvious by now. I'm just not the easiest person to bear, and that's okay. I prefer to spend my time with people who only dream of being my equal. If those people happen to be enemies, then so be it. In a feud, I will never lose to them. My brain is my mightiest weapon, and my ego is the prize. Let it be known that I never lose a battle of the wits, no matter how clever you think you are. I always find a way to win.

—Saber Hops