Ashton Reese [D2] {FIN}

Ashton Reese [D2] {FIN} Nov 3, 2013 12:55:06 GMT -5

Post by Parks on Nov 3, 2013 12:55:06 GMT -5

Ashton Reese

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I got lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind

It’s funny how my district really isn’t even affected by the Hunger Games. I mean we are, we still have to send in two tributes as a sacrifice for the games every year, but most of the time it’s volunteers. Or the people who are reaped have received extensive training. It’s kind of hard to imagine such a thought, actually. Who would want to go into the games, even with training? Only one person makes it out, what if that person isn’t you? So much for bringing honor to your family. We treat it like it actually is a game, just like how the capitol treats it. I didn’t realize 23 people dying was equivalent to a game though. Guess I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m playing ‘Hide and Seek’ with my little brother.

I know I don’t treat it like a game, but it’s not like I don’t train for it. I mean I do, but it’s not like I take it lightheartedly. I do it knowing full on that there is a large chance of my death, so why would anyone take that in such a lighthearted manner? It just really doesn’t make sense to me, but hey, anything is possible in Panem I guess. And with my strict schedule, I really don’t have any time to do anything other than go to school and train for my ‘Career Status’ as my father calls it.

Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck hallow and alone
And the fault is my own and the fault is my own

I mean, I have a fairly large social life, that I won’t deny, I just never get to see most of my friends. My “friends,” if I would even call them that, are the people that I manage to hang out with during school and at the training center when I’m training for the games.

My family is pretty easy going, I mean they aren’t overly obnoxious or anything, and I actually enjoy spending time with them. There’s four of us in all. My mother, father, my little brother who is 13, and myself. I’m closest to my mother, even though I’m still rather close to all of them. She is usually the only one who stops to ask me how my day went, or how school is going though. All my brother wants me to do is play games with him, and all my father ever bothers to check up with me on is how I’m doing with my career training. I’m doing fine, okay dad? It’s like he doesn’t love me for who I am, but he loves me for what I’m becoming- if I’m even becoming anything.

I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long
[Erase all the danger that’s gone]

I want to make him proud, and I think he realizes that, but it’s hard when he sets his expectations so hard. I don’t know how to cope with that, usually I’ll talk to my mom about what I feel, but she isn’t always around. She still has work to go do, and my dad, being a peacekeeper and all, is known for his strict ways. I’m just happy he was assigned to be a peacekeeper in District Two, and the whole family wasn’t assigned to a different district like twelve or something. I’ve heard stories of that god forsaken place, but I would never want to go there in person. They say that there are children running around the street naked scavenging for food, and that they’re skinny to the bone. How come the capitol hasn’t helped them? You would think they would, after all, they’re the capitol’s loyal subjects, why wouldn’t they got proper treatment like us fair folks in District Two?

I still don’t understand it all. Why are the people in District Two, people like me so lucky and so rich, when people in District Twelve are so unlucky, so poor, so hungry. We are run off of the same industry, which is mining. Is it cause we are just one of the lower districts, granting us more accustoms in the eye of the capitol? We’re spoiled and they’re not, yet we do the exact same work. It’s a mystery I will probably never understand.

I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I’m close to something real
I want to find something I’ve wanted all alone
Somewhere I belong

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful to be in a place like District Two. Here we don’t have to worry about poverty, we don’t have to worry about starvation, and most of the time as I said earlier, we don’t have to worry about the Hunger Games, for there are always a fresh lot of careers waiting to claim their rightful place as victor of the games. But at some point you have to stop and wonder why we’re granted so much more than the other districts. It just doesn’t seem right.

My Family always tells me I ask too many questions, and maybe they’re right. I have my quirks here and there, but I’m human just like everyone else. None of us are perfect, god forbid me from saying that even President Snow isn’t perfect. But it’s the truth, and if there is one thing I’ve learned from my family as I’ve grown up, it’s that honesty is a key part of success. Sure, if the penalty is too high then you don’t want to be truthful, but you don’t have to lie either. Just keep your head down and try not to ask too many questions.

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it
All in my mind

Honestly, my family doesn’t get on my nerves too badly, I mean it’s not like they nag at everything I do, except for my father. Then again, he just nags at everything I don’t do, since all he cares about is my career training. I fear that he is going to put my brother through the same training, and that my brother will receive the same harshness of our father that I have, though mom already had a hard enough time watching me go through such harsh training, and if little Matthias is lucky then mother will intervene and not let father treat my little baby brother the way he treated me.

At the end of the day, I’m happy, though. I don’t spend too much time gawking on the fact that my father expects so much from me, and instead I’m just happy that I’m alive. Besides, I always have a good amount of friends to go to if I ever need a place to stay away from my father, and believe me, I’ve done that before. I guess it just all comes down to the fact that I’m a small boy trying to find my way through such a dark world, but that the warmness of my heart, and the kindness of others is what keeps me going. And if I ever need to look for guidance, I can always just look into myself for such a motivation. Forever and always.

But do I have the negativity
'Cause I can’t justify the way everyone is lookin’ at me
Nothing to lose nothing to gain
Hallow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own