Nina Goravich-Haze // D3 // [FIN] //

Nina Goravich-Haze // D3 // [FIN] // Nov 3, 2013 13:15:07 GMT -5

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Post by arx on Nov 3, 2013 13:15:07 GMT -5

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nina goravich-haze.

O

[/size]nce upon a time there was a perfect little princess. She had the brightest smile and blue eyes that sparkled each time you called her name. Her touch made flowers grow and her soft giggle made even the stingiest of people smile. She seemed to float on air when she walked, graceful for such a small person, and if you asked her to dance she would take you hand gladly. She was the most beautiful girl in all the land and everyone loved her. The problem? No one knew she was a princess in the world she lived in. She was tossed away like a rag doll, kicked around in the dirt, forgotten and unwanted. She didn't live in a palace or wear gowns made of soft silk as she was meant to, but lived in an orphanage with tattered, stained dresses - hand-me-downs off of some long dead orphan girl. Her hands were calloused already, even at such a tender age of six, forced to scrub away the dirt from the floors and scolded when she falls asleep half-way through her work. A princess turned into a worthless, unwanted pauper.

How did it all turn out this way? She was destined to be royalty, loved by all! And yet she was born in Panem, not the land of Far, Far Away. Love doesn't exist in a land like Panem - not for her. Instead, she is hated. Though she doesn't recall why, her past too traumatic and her memories nearly erased, the abuse so horrible that her brain just simply could not let her remember, her "irrational" fear of girls is due to the way her sisters and mother treated her. At just 3 years old her mother locked her in a closet for 2 whole days. Her older sisters cackled outside the door as she screamed and kicked and clawed at the door, the darkness hiding invisible monsters, the walls slowly closing in around her, tears streaming down her face as her heart raced and she passed out because her throat wouldn't allow air in. Once her sisters held her down and forced pliers into her mouth, pulling out 3 teeth before her brother managed to yank them all away from her. Boys are saviors; girls are painful.

Her mother locked her in a closet on purpose and screamed profanities, her sisters kicked her and punched her and called her names and pulled her hair and ripped the heads off of her teddy bears and pulled teeth from her mouth and chased her around the house with knives in their hands, and her brother held her in his arms and shoved away her sisters and bought her new teddy bears. He wiped away her tears and told her that he loved her. Even the girls at the orphanage snicker at her and shove her into a closet every chance they get. This poor girl's story is not one for the light-hearted, but one for the darkest of hearts to indulge in. A story that may make tears drip from your eyes. But does the smile ever droop from the undiscovered princesses face? Do her eyes ever look completely blank - the passion burning within every child's eyes no longer there? Does she ever feel like quitting, like maybe no one will ever love her, like maybe she should just give up? The answer: No. Despite the spirit crushing experiences, it seems nothing will ever truly take this little girl's soul from her. She is just too perfect.

Too full of hopes and dreams and songs and dances that she cannot recognize how horrible her life truly is. In her eyes, the world is full of beautiful things, full of adventures. You can't convince her that the life she lives is wretched because it is just not in her nature to perceive the world that way. Innocence in its purest form - that is Nina. The glass is never half-empty, but always half-full. You ask the girl to draw a picture of the orphanage and you won't get a small, broken down, dirty, hell hole like everyone else draws, but a place that is painted pink, sparkling clean, filled with children that hold hands and wear smiles, and has a rainbow painting the sky in the background. Her priorities are not to get revenge on the other children that shove her in the closet or scrubbing the floors as Ms. Leigh instructs, but picking the dandelions that sprout through the cracks in the sidewalk and daydreaming about pretty dresses, fancy jewelry, and other girly things. Her worries are simple; and yet, much more complicated than any six year old should have to endure.

The life of an orphan is hard as it is, let alone when the poor child shies away from any woman that comes near her. Who wants a child who is scared of them? Her eyes grow wide and she runs away, even when she knows Ms. Leigh will punish her later if she does. She is told to sit still, brush her hair and teeth, smile, dress nice, and to keep her mouth shut - "or suffer the consequences later." She wants a family that will love her just as much as the next little girl that was thrown in the dirt and told to fend for herself, but her fear runs deep. Meeting in a small room is bad enough, not to mention the couples that walk in, some altogether scary, others too ... similiar. Her mind twists every girl she sees into some sort of monster with sharp teeth and an evil laugh that rings in her ears. Every small room grows smaller and smaller until their is no light and the walls are pressing squishing the air from her lungs and crushing her bones. (She sleeps on the roof at night when Ms. Leigh doesn't catch her - her brother always slept on the roof with her before. The stars are more welcoming than the ceiling.) And each time she runs away, someone else is happy - someone else had a family and she is left to scrub the floors and wish upon a star for that family to come along one day. Hope flares in her heart, burns in her eyes, and dances in the air around her.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Someone will take her home. Someone will kiss her scraped knees, have tea parties with her, read her bedtime stories, tuck her in bed at night (a place with soaring ceilings), show her how to tie her shoes, braid her hair, pick flowers with her, play hopscotch, and tell her that they love her. Someone will tell her that they love her. She waits patiently for that day. And she will wrap her little arms around them as best she can, look into their eyes, and say, "I love you, too."[/color][/size]

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me

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