Eren Jäger [Peackeeper]

Eren Jäger
23 years old
member of the Survey Corps branch of the Peacekeeping Force
panem today | panem tomorrow | panem forever
odair

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It's nights like these when he feels alone; the moon is high in the sky and the stars are shining and there's nobody here to share it with him. Mikasa and Armin are already asleep, their bodies softly rising and falling. For what seems like an eternity he watches the cycle. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down. Up - Fuck this shit this is boring. But yet he stays, head tilted towards the sky. He can imagine himself flying through this breeze in his gear: the wind rippling through his shaggy, dark brown locks (they'd probably get in his eyes too and then he'd be swearing so much even Jean would blush), his laughter echoing through the mountains and valleys, the lakes and the plains and the trees - especially the trees.

For now though, he's stuck staring out a window. His gaze turns back to Mikasa, and he slowly gets out of bed, heading over to hers. The blanket's falling off. He fixes it, making sure not to cover her nose as he slowly just a few more inches don't wake her up pulls the sheets back above her shoulders. He does the same to Armin, but his blanket's status normally isn't as severe as Mikasa's. For a few more minutes he sits on the ground, back against the nightstand as his two friends, his only family left in the world, slumber on. They've had his back more times than he can count, they've fought his battles for him and with him, they've laughed and cried and cracked jokes and he only wishes he can do more for them besides making sure they're warm at night, that they've had enough to eat when they're sick (he makes the best chicken noodle soup, he swears on it), that their injuries are always shallow.

He owes them his life, and then some.

The others never see this side of him; normally he's brash, impulsive, stubborn and bull-headed with a cutthroat demeanor and a huge idealistic mentality. But there are these sides to him that he'll only let these two see; they're the only ones, deep down, that he truly trusts. When he took the oath of a Peacekeeper he promised to lay down his life for his comrades, and fuck yes he'll do whatever he can to make sure nobody is left behind, is maimed is tortured is murdered by the savage mutts, the traitorous rebels and whatever else may befall the troop during their outings. But he knows, deep down, that the only two for whom he would die for without hesitation are the two sleeping next to him right now. They are the only ones that matter, at the end of the day.

He yawns once, his lanky frame stretching to and fro. He can hear his bones pop and crack and his chapped lips suddenly have a lightning flash of pain as it rips apart and he angrily whispers mother fucker ow shit that fucking hurt as he licks his wounds and stumbles back up. All 5'7" of him lumbers to bed, finally, as he lies down and stares out the window once more.

There's a part of him that wonders what would have happened if he hadn't gone down his mother's path, hadn't become a Peacekeeper and a Survey Corps member, hadn't had the balls to follow in her footsteps even after she was mauled beyond recognition by some monster that still eluded their grasp. He's still mourning her, even years later, and perhaps this suicide mission is his way of repentance for all the times he wronged her, all the times he refused to go to bed on time or angrily told her that he hated her or got into all those fights just to prove his worth and those went horribly. The only person unscathed was Mikasa and that's because she beat most of them up.

After she died, his father was quick to vanish, leaving behind decades of work throughout the Districts. Eren doesn't know where he went, and he truly doesn't care. The only good thing his father ever did was help rescue Mikasa from those madmen, those thieves who wanted to steal her and take her away to bad men with bad intentions. He did the right thing then, Eren knows that. The blood spilled was worth it, just to see her alive once more.

And then it was just the three of them, in their own home, in their own jobs as all three joined the Peackeepers (he still has the fleeting fear that Armin and Mikasa only joined to protect him, that he would never be good enough to do something on his own. But he realizes that this is a selfish thought and is quick to banish it to the back of his brain), as all three excelled, as Mikasa placed first in their class and Eren fifth. And then there they were, in the Survey Corps, doing just what his mother had done all those years ago. And he was happy, or as happy as he could ever be.

His eyes are heavy, and soon they close. With it come the dreams and the nightmares that have plagued him for an eternity. A world of darkness, of chaos. There's no one to protect him, no one for him to protect. There is just Eren, alone in a dead world, shivering and frail and weak, oh so weak. He can never let that happen. But eventually those screaming terrors turn into soothing melodies, laughter, friends and family and the familiar breeze whistling past as he flies out into the atmosphere.