[CBD1] Carmen Andal -- D8

There is one secret that women withhold from men: your looks do not make you beautiful. You are beautiful when you wield yourself like a weapon. When your smile becomes a threat and your eyes turn to paintings instead of windows, you have found beauty. I have learned this. I was not born beautiful. I wrested it from the hands of those who would keep it from me.

Their eyes beheld beauty, so I cut them out.

Love is an amorous, flighty bird. No one can hope to catch it -- even men, with their elaborate traps and golden cages. I gave up trying long ago, and I simply follow the little thing where it leads me. And it has led me to many, many men. They call me a whore because of it. They whisper where they think I can't hear, and act righteous just to hide their jealousy. I see right through them.

I do not use men. Even though men have used me and my poor, long-suffering mother our entire lives, I have never once used a man. I flaunt myself to frustrate them, and I occasionally give hope where there is none. But I do not lie. When I am with a man, it is because love has led me to them. Love simply leads me away more quickly than they like.

It is different to be with a women. I have followed my little bird to many of them as well, and they are warm and soft, not hard like men. Many do not understand how I can find love in both sexes. I simply shrug and light another cigarette.

I stopped questioning the ways of love long ago.