Spruce Oak ~Finished~~~

~Paris~ Hunter 65 POSTS last seen Oct 12, 2014 12:14:37 GMT -5 I hope my child is an avocado	Spruce Oak ~Finished~~~ Mar 30, 2014 17:24:29 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ~Paris~ on Mar 30, 2014 17:24:29 GMT -5 Name: Spruce Oak Age: 15 Gender: Fe-male District/Area: 7 Appearance: Personality: History: Codeword: Odair Other:
	Last Edit: Apr 5, 2014 8:52:50 GMT -5 by ~Paris~ Reason #486 why we don't leave Paris alone in the Cbox

~Paris~
Hunter

65 POSTS
last seen Oct 12, 2014 12:14:37 GMT -5

I hope my child is an avocado

Spruce Oak ~Finished~~~ Apr 5, 2014 8:52:17 GMT -5

Post by ~Paris~ on Apr 5, 2014 8:52:17 GMT -5

Spruce Oak

Karma runs in my veins. Every little action, every little mistake is reciprocated with a nice dose of misfortune. And so it is, so it has always been. Maybe I did something truly awful in a past life to deserve the one that holds me now, as if the Oak family is a version of hell on earth. Karma wants us to be sorry for our sins and for all the pain we caused, inflicting it upon us in increments that continuously batter and beat us down. It’s like Karma has a grudge against us, like we did something to offend her, maybe escaped her at one time or another. But Karma doesn’t play tricks, doesn’t damn entire bloodlines for no reason.
I’m not sure where or when it started, and I’ve already established that I don’t know why. But I do know the effects that it’s had on us. Willow’s father died in an accident, and Willow herself has a crushed leg. Pine is armless, and Rowan, eyeless. As for me? I am hopeless, which I view as just as much of an incapacitator as any other physical injury.
I know that I will never be able to live a life like the ones I dream, with happy endings, or endings as a whole. The world I live in will never stop consuming me and every precious moment I have to give. I am spinning, held only by the anchor or what little sanity I have left. I think some of us have already passed that threshold, not to name any names, or anything.
I guess I don’t look like I’m being eaten up from the inside out, which I consider a blessing among the ruins. I put the small amount of self-control I have left on the outside, for everyone else to see. Not to show it off, but to hope that it spreads like a fire that cools instead of burns. At least I can try to stay calm and anchor our family while everything swirls in a dark haze around us.
I look like what I am... A tall girl, with hair that falls to the small of my back, dark, and tamed. My skin is white like the milk we can only afford to drink on holidays, and my eyes are as transparent as they think I am. Maybe they feel safe around me because of my calming aura or whatever. My willowy limbs are open to them, open arms, open heart.But I hope than no one can look into my eyes deep enough to see the struggle I face on a daily basis. I want to appear as I am not: calm, trustworthy, and a leader. In a way, I force it upon myself to take that position which I so often claim I hate, yet all I've ever known is to act different than I feel, to put on a mask, to have constant features that never contort with anger or rage and skin that never flushes.
In a way I act like a doll, maybe even look like one. A china face, glass eyes that reflect only lies. My sole purpose is to comfort and to love.To be there when needed, and to cease being there when not. But unlike a doll, I still have my thoughts, and those thoughts are mine.
Like everybody else in district seven, times are hard. But who hasn’t heard that speal before, I won’t go into details. I, myself, work as a merchant assistant at one of the nearby cloth stores, and I make just enough to support myself and maybe Maple (I calculated it). The work isn’t hard, but it is long, and it keeps me away from doing what I love: Learning.
I crave it like a blind man craves to see, or a starving man craves the supper his wife used to make. If I could, I would lock myself in a tower and read. Learn. Think. Look out the window and ponder the world. Live without a care. Be. But I can’t I can’t I can’t.
I have responsibilities, other people to look out for, as if I didn’t have enough on my plate already. I feel like everything always gets piled on me, like I’m the “problem-solver” of the family (which, I am, of course). But I keep keep keep keep giving into their demands, that I am not doing enough when I am doing more than enough that I am not red on the inside when I am boiling over that I am always going to let myself be stepped on and by God I can tell you that
I am.
I cannot escape from the bindings; I can only pretend they do not exist. Maybe if I broke, they would break as well, and I would be free. But if I broke, everything would break, and everyone I love would crumble into dust, while I stand covered in ashes. I have so much potential to do great, and this I know. I would work, make a living, and support my family, if only I could leave. But I can’t leave, because leaving is just another kind of breaking.
I think, maybe, my presence is enough to keep things together. I look like the only one in the room who knows what to do and has a clear head on her shoulders. And that is why I can’t leave. That and the little ones, my siblings. This empire of darkness that separates us from the rest of the world would certainly come crashing town if a bolt was removed from the steps.
The only thing I have left to do is lock myself up in my little tower and wait for the next chore.

*** Credit to Anzie***

Last Edit: Apr 5, 2014 13:27:17 GMT -5 by ~Paris~

Reason #486 why we don't leave Paris alone in the Cbox

Python Head Librarian 4,515 POSTS Pronouns: She/Her last seen May 3, 2024 22:50:35 GMT -5	Spruce Oak ~Finished~~~ Apr 5, 2014 11:41:54 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Python on Apr 5, 2014 11:41:54 GMT -5 This bio is fantastic, I love your writing style. Problem is, there's not a single sentence about her appearance, and I can't accept this until you meet that requirement. Post again when you've fixed it ^^

~Paris~ Hunter 65 POSTS last seen Oct 12, 2014 12:14:37 GMT -5 I hope my child is an avocado	Spruce Oak ~Finished~~~ Apr 5, 2014 13:27:56 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ~Paris~ on Apr 5, 2014 13:27:56 GMT -5 Okay, so I added two paragraphs or so that mainly focus on appearance... hope that's enough???
	Reason #486 why we don't leave Paris alone in the Cbox

Python Head Librarian 4,515 POSTS Pronouns: She/Her last seen May 3, 2024 22:50:35 GMT -5	Spruce Oak ~Finished~~~ Apr 5, 2014 13:32:51 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Python on Apr 5, 2014 13:32:51 GMT -5