Maya Stark // D11 // fin

15 years of my life has passed.

15 whole years.

So why? Why could I only remember the last 2 of them?

2 years, of my 15 years, was all that I could remember. it was a scary thought, that 13 years of my life had just disappeared. Just gone. Poof. It was also scary, scary not to know the person I was, the person I was supposed to be. Two years ago I woke up in the middle of no where, my body was scraped and bruises painted my body. They were the fresh wounds. But after I cleaned myself I saw, I saw that I had other, uh, scars… There was a scar that sliced me across the back. It ran from my right shoulder blade to my left hip and I could not remember a thing about it. How had it gotten there? How had a gruesome mark like this managed to make it onto my skin?

But that wasn't the only scar. On the back of my left alf there was another one. This one was thick and the skin around t was ragged and messy. It looked like the skin had been torn open by some hook so deep that I needed stitches- but it obviously hadn't received any. I run a thin finger over the scar, hoping that something would come to me- a flash back,, anything really, to tell me about who I was.

But to be honest I don't think that the scars was the worst thing. I think the worst thing was when I woke up, my body covered in mud, my blonde hair mattered with sticks dirty water and sand, alone. I was alone. There hadn't been another soul in sight. The track had been dusty, the breeze whipping the dust around in small whirlwinds. Had I been left for dead? Was I meant to be dead? No one had been looking for me- how long had I even been missing?

Some gaps had been filled i by the people around me, by the few friends hat I had allowed myself to turst- but nothing from my parents. They were almost absent, always leaving the house in the morning and not coming home until late at night- but ben when they were home they looked at me in disgust, anger and something so much deeper that I couldn't read… It got me doubting them… What if it had been them? the people who were supposed to love me; what if they had been the ones to try and kill me.

But what if I had got it all wrong and it was my fault that I was the way I was.

My friends often too me that I was prone to wandering around the large district, always wanting to discover new things, always returning with dirty clothes and filthy skin… So what if it had been me? What if this ability to lack trust was just my own way to protect myself? What if my parents actually loved me and I was just seeing what I wanted to see?

Who was I?

Those 13 years… what happened?

Due to my lack of memory I have trust issues. I don't trust easily and that not because I don't want to trust people, I just don't know who to trust. When I walked up that street for the first time two years ago I couldn't even remember y name, I didn't know where I lived or who my friends were and if I didn't know who they were how was i supposed to trust them- trust anyone. It was hard… and I couldn't even confirm that the facts and stories that I was begin fed now were the truth. What if the people around me were trying to create a new me… what if the person I am becoming now is the person that I never- ever- wanted to become?

I guess they were my greatest fears. That the person I am today, this king, nervous, untrusting person I am... well.... isn't the person I am supposed to be.

What if I was a monster, someone who preyed on peoples hurt- or what if I was a killer, or a person who just wanted everyone else to be happy over myself? What if I had been a person who feed off pain.

Who was I?

Yes my name was Maya Stark- but a name did not define a person, a persons actions defined who they were.

Yes I was Maya Stark and I was 15 and I had long blonde hair and blue eyes and scars and I lived in district 11. But what did that mean? Does that tell you about me?

Yes my name was Maya Stark, and yes I did not know anything about my past I was lost and insecure and scared and looking for someone to shed some light on my past.

What happened two years ago? What caused me to lose my memories- that was something that I was sure you wanted to know, but that was also something that I couldn't tell you- and that was because me myself had no idea.

I want to be able to tell you about my parents, about my life. I want to be able to tell you if I had a boyfriend, or if I even had friends... But I cant. The only friends that I know of are the few that I have know- and yet I don't fully trust them.

I am alone in this world, alone until I regain what I once lost.