THEODORUS EBB, DISTRICT 4

✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Graphics 5,831 POSTS Pronouns: they/them last seen Apr 17, 2024 14:37:45 GMT -5 “And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.” - steinbeck	THEODORUS EBB, DISTRICT 4 Jun 12, 2014 5:18:54 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ on Jun 12, 2014 5:18:54 GMT -5 Theodorus (Tay-o-door-us) Ebb Seventeen Male Four Hart ♒
	Last Edit: Jan 19, 2015 5:07:25 GMT -5 by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ compendium / avriel clown car / pietro 2022 tracker / 2023 tracker / 2024 tracker

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5,831 POSTS
Pronouns: they/them
last seen Apr 17, 2024 14:37:45 GMT -5

“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.” - steinbeck

THEODORUS EBB, DISTRICT 4 Jun 12, 2014 6:00:31 GMT -5

Quote

Post by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ on Jun 12, 2014 6:00:31 GMT -5

“I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.”

I wake up to my heart beating and something wet and slimy against my face.

It's wet out and cold, I can feel the damp, like it's raining or something.

Yes, it's raining.

I can feel it hitting my skin, feel the way my shirt is clinging to my chest and arms. Linen. (Linen? It's fabric?) It's a linen shirt. Blue? (ice ice ice cold and freezing, that's what blue is) No. No, I don't know. I'll check when it gets lighter.

Something is still attacking my face with it's tongue. Hot breath hits my cheeks and the stink of it fills my nose and it's too much in this darkness, too much.

Gingerly, I reach a hand up, my left. It's like waving it into space, I can't see anything, it's darker than black out here.

Wherever here is.

My hand carefully feels in front of me, my fingers dance across close cropped...hair? No...fur. It's fur. I feel along further and find that there is a snout attached, a wet nose, an eye that closes on reflex when I nearly poke it out. There's a short, floppy ear and then a neck. It's some sort of creature.

When it feels my fingers come closer to it's mouth it finally switches from my face and turns my fingers into slime sticks instead. Curious, I push my hand into it's mouth. It has sharp canines.

What sort of idiot sticks his hand into an unknown creature's mouth.

Me, apparently.

I'm laying on dirt. Maybe some sort of track. It's muddy with the rain and it sticks to my back. It's cold. With a pain filled grunt, I push myself up slowly by laying my palms flat against the ground and then pushing. It hurts like hell just to move at all. I hurt all over, like I've been hit by something heavy.

My eyes aren't adjusting to the darkness.

Strangely I don't panic about this.

I rest my hands on the ground in front of me, and in turn the creature rests it's head on my lap immediately, as if to reassure me. Absentmindedly, I rub my hand down it's wet fur and find that my hand runs into a patch of stickiness. Unable to discern it by sight, I raise my hand to my nose and smell....iron....blood. The creature has blood on it.

I wonder if I have blood on me as well. I'll have to wait until morning comes to see.

I try to think back to last night and I come up against a blank wall.

I think back further and come up against another.

Another.

I am surrounded by blank walls.

Who am I.

I don't know.

I run my hands through the creature's fur, cupping her big fat head between two hands, the fingers nearly meeting. Absentminded, I turn my face up to the direction of the rain. I know that my eyes are open, I can feel my lashes wet against my upper eyelid. I just can't see anything, like someone turned off the lights. Yet, if I think hard, I can barely remember what light even is. The concept of it is there, just within reach, but I cannot remember. It has been dark forever, since before I can remember at all.

I am blind.

Ah. Yes, that sounds correct, I am blind.

I mourn that for the briefest of moments.

I think it is something that I knew since forever ago, it does not hurt for long.

Then, I struggle to my feet, the creature, (dog?) moving back but staying close to help me stand, as if it is routine. I know she is there, her size too. I can hear her panting, can hear the slight shifting of her feet as if she is standing nearly inside of me. Her side rubs against my leg as if to give me support when I threaten to topple over. I find a wall, quickly enough, my left palm hitting it with a smack.

Tendrils of wet hair hang in my face and I automatically pull them back by rubbing a hand through the curly mess on top of my head. I pull until I reach the ends. It's long hair. No wonder it tickles my cheeks. The rain makes the salt that was encrusted in it run down my forehead into my mouth or maybe I'm crying. My face feels warm, like I might be.

Shaking, I raise my right hand and wipe at the corners of my eyes, not surprised when my fingers come away wet. It is raining. I taste them. They are salty. They are bloody. They taste of iron.

My body hurts.

I lean against the wall and the animal whimpers in response. He? She? It? seems to be tied to my emotions, I'd like to whimper too. I don't know where I am. I don't know what's happened to me. Try as I might, I don't even know my own name. I don't know anything.

I've been avoiding that, focusing on the pain in my ribs, the wet, the animal, the blood, anything but that.

I don't know anything at all and I can't see shit.

I am crying.

I am scared.

Sobs wrack my body and my fingers dig into the skin of my arms, as I hold myself. I slide down the wall and the animal begins to howl. A dog then. I'm riddled with panic and can sense the urgency in her own voice, as if she is trying to alert someone. As if she is crying with me. I let go of myself and reach out for the dog, something I must have done before because she moves right into my arms and I'm clutching soggy fur, crying into her neck.

My nose hurts and I'm aware that it's probably broken. My face hurts, my ribs sting, I'm cold and wet. I want to go home but I don't know where home is. All I have is this dog. I don't even know it's name. I don't know anything, I don't know.

I smack my fist against the ground in anger, like a child having a tantrum. The dog starts suddenly, as if she's heard something and pulls itself out of my grasp. I reach forward, attempting to reel her back in but she is gone, her footsteps take her away and the world is suddenly ten times more terrifying. I wipe the snot away from my nose, wincing at the pain of my raw knuckles hitting a nose that isn't entirely straight anymore. I want to call the animal back to me but I don't even know it's name.

I'm a mess.

and a half.

"Heart?"

I hear the voice from half way down the alley. Instinctively, I pull myself to my feet, using the wall for support, trying to hide what an easy target I really am. I don't want whoever it is to hurt me, I'm already torn up enough. Even my shoes are decidedly missing, if I did have shoes before. Hastily, I wipe at my eyes again, hoping that I don't look like I've just been crying, hoping my nose will cover up any tears because even though I'm blind and clueless I know that I've got to look like shit.

"Shit, Tay-oh?!" says the voice.

I turn my head in the direction of the sound, wondering if she is talking to me. I point at myself, uncertain, stupid to be uncertain because as far as I know I'm the only other person in this area. Before I know it, there are hands on my arms, hands on my face, steadying me, touching me, touching me. I shy away from the touch, it's overwhelming. I feel claustrophobic.

"It's me? Tayyy-o?" says the voice as if that will help. I screw up my face, as if trying to think and I back up, away from the touch. I stumble, heel meeting something on the ground and I throw out my arms, hoping for something nearby to catch myself on. Strong hands catch me underneath my arms and I fall against their chest, sudden exhaustion taking me by surprise. The creature is wiggling against my leg, growling softly with worry and I'm so cold. I let out a soft cry of fear and try to push myself away again. "It's okay, shh, it's alright, I'll take you home," she says.

The world goes quiet then, my legs give out and suddenly, I'm too far away to hear anything else that she says.

___

It's been one year since Harley found us in that alleyway and I'm still counting my blessings that she did. I couldn't have even told you my own name when I woke up there. The creature at my side ended up being a dog named Hart. Harley says that she's a pitbull, that she adopted me two years ago when I found her in a pile of trash at the edge of the docks. Someone had abandoned her there and apparently I'd heard her calling. I've got a very keen sense of hearing. I guess that's due to me being blind.

Harley says that I went blind when I was three years old from a boating accident. Mom took us out in the fishing boat and there was a bad storm, I ended up hitting my head pretty badly and almost drowned. I would have if Harley hadn't jumped in the water and saved me. She's nearly seven years older than me and according to her, she's been taking care of my ass since mom died in that storm and dad never really existed in the first place.

Harley asked me why I ended up beaten half to death with no shoes and looking like someone had handed my ass to me. She had questions of course and I couldn't give her any answers. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I still can't remember much from these past few years and I've only just started getting bits of my past back. It helps to have Harley to talk to, she tells me a lot of stuff that's happened that I've forgotten. It sparks things in my mind and I can get it back again.

Hart's my rock. I wouldn't be able to do anything without her. Harley says that I used to be really good at seeming normal. I was a natural at navigating despite being blind and because I wasn't born like this, my eyes never went cloudy. I knew exactly where everything was but now things have changed. I can't recall what the world looks like. Hart leads me everywhere. Harley fashioned a leash for me out of some old rope from the shipyard that we've both apparently worked in for years. With practice, I'm able to make it around places well enough without her, but most of the time, I need her by my side.

Harley barely leaves me alone anymore. She says it's because she's nearly lost me twice now and it's not happening again. It's gotten better this past year. I like to go for walks late at night just to learn the district again and light has never bothered me. I could be in the darkest night and move forwards, as unafraid as ever. Hart works like an alarm system anyway. If she's uncomfortable, she tenses up and whimpers or growls, telling me that something bad is coming along. She's my best friend, and I've never been cold either because I've got her around. Sometimes I wake up breathless at night because I've got this giant dog on my chest but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've gotten a bit bitter recently, that or I'm waking up to the world. Harley says that she's missed my personality, that I haven't really been the same sarcastic little shit since the alleyway. I guess I'm learning things again. I work in the shipyard all day, with folk that have known me my whole life and sometimes they forget to be patient with me, they forget that I can't remember a lot of the memories that I have with them. Despite my sarcasm, I'm an amiable guy, it all falls into place anyway.

I know that I should be a Capitol hating romantic like Harley, who spends all of her free time at rallies and things but I've never been that way, I think. I prefer to spend my time rediscovering the district, figuring out what places I like, what I don't. Hart and I spend a lot of early mornings at the beach, listening to the waves. I sit on the sand and she rests that giant head of her's on my lap and we think. Or at least I do. There's a lot to be sad about but a lot to be happy about too.

I avoid alleys these days.

Being blind isn't the most fantastic of things, but being blind and not knowing who the hell you are is worse.

Last Edit: Jan 19, 2015 5:10:14 GMT -5 by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

compendium / avriel
clown car / pietro
2022 tracker / 2023 tracker / 2024 tracker

✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Graphics 5,831 POSTS Pronouns: they/them last seen Apr 17, 2024 14:37:45 GMT -5 “And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.” - steinbeck	THEODORUS EBB, DISTRICT 4 Jan 19, 2015 4:57:37 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ on Jan 19, 2015 4:57:37 GMT -5 zoe has dibs probably
	compendium / avriel clown car / pietro 2022 tracker / 2023 tracker / 2024 tracker

✨ Advertiser 8,136 POSTS Pronouns: she/her last seen Apr 19, 2024 17:24:18 GMT -5 bloomtodeath	THEODORUS EBB, DISTRICT 4 Jan 19, 2015 5:10:00 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ✨ on Jan 19, 2015 5:10:00 GMT -5 LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
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