kellan fray | district one | resub | fin

I want my name in shining lights.

From a very, very young age it's been preached into my ear like a sermon in Church that it's the only option I have for a future. I want people to say my parents should be proud of me, that I was the best at everything I ever tried my hand at. I want people I've never met to know my name, for them to approach me just to tell me how many good things they have heard about me, how I am something of a legend here in District One.

I want to have a crown on my head.

What decent career doesn't? I have worked my ass off in my family's center, and though it might not be good enough for my parents just yet, it is good enough that they... allow me to teach the younger kids all of the basic stances and approaches. I would much rather be using my time to embarrass some of my own peers, but if the younger careers are reaped and win, that's because I taught them everything they know. It won't happen, of course, because the minute anyone is called at the reaping is the minute my hand will rocket itself into the air and I'll take their place. These games are anything but just a game, and it's going to be my job to prove it.

I want some damn peace and quiet.

I have been raised in a house of fools. First was Sterling- Maddox, as he prefers to be called, constantly trying to best me and piss me off in any way he can. Then Labyrinth, her smart-ass remarks seeming to be the first thing to ever come out of her bitchy mouth. Then the twins- or Satan's spawns if you ask me, twisted enough that they don't even flinch when names of people found dead only a few neighborhoods away are read out loud on the television screen in the living room. Then Justice who, poor thing, can only have one thing on his mind at all times: Being the next me. Pillar was after him, though technically she was adopted and my excuses for siblings made it a job of reminding her that it wasn't actual Fray blood running through her veins. And Sophie was last, a princess in her own right, set to grow up and be the next queen to ruin a kingdom when she should just shut her damn mouth and sit in the background where she belongs.

But we aren't enough for my parents. Eight children, but I guess since I am the only exceptionally talented one in the house it makes sense that they would adopt more. I just didn't expect it to be so many children given second chances. I was raised to believe we were the best of the best, so why were they so keen on dusting off trash and trying to turn it into treasure? Because we had "One job." according to my mother: to be reaped and to win, and since none of us have done that, they are going to find someone that will.

The first to come were my cousins, which I guess is at least something I can work with. Three of them, triplets, and all equally sure that they are the new rulers of my house. But then came Aurelie, who, incidentally, isn't that bad looking for garbage. Then the brothers, both young, both ridiculously ordinary, and then it got even worse when Mother thought a pair of thugs trying to steal from us in the middle of night had passion, and when it turned out they were orphaned, she took them right in and left me to polish the dirt and the gaudy excuse of fighting they both called "proper form" into something at least usable.

Basically, my home was already a farm, and now it's a zoo. If it were any bigger it would be a prison, and these days complete strangers roam the halls wearing my last name like a souvenir. It's sickening. I can't wait until I win the Games, because when I do, not a damn one of them is moving into the Victor's Village with me.

I want the world.

It's no secret that I usually get what I want, but it's not like I'm spoiled. Well, not really. I work for what I want, and most of the time it is in the form of a girl, and on a few more occasions than I care to admit, they all share the same last name: Shore. Though, I do have to say Pyrite has done a decent job of keeping my on my toes as of late. Enough that I rarely even notice other girls anymore. After all, my parents have always made sure to remind me that only a select few were worthy of my time, and they are right, of course, but until the beautiful girl with the dark hair and the porcelain skin allowed me to make my advances, I never thought I was the type to settle down. "You'll marry a Moreno, or a Hayes... perhaps a Devereux," My father decided for me, "A Shore or a Rex if you can."

It was nice to know they were actually pleased with me for a change when I told them I was sort of seeing on of the Shore girls, but I bet their pride in me would lessen if they had known I have already slept with half of them. "You are so charming in your own annoying way," Pillar had said once. "And the good looks help, I think." It is strange that she is the least annoying of my siblings when, as I have already mentioned, and as she is regularly reminded, she is is the only one that doesn't actually have Fray blood in her veins. Though that is hardly the case now, isn't it?

I want my own identity.

Hearing that we all look just alike, that we all are just so fucking talented could not be a bigger insult to me. Sure, we have the same "pretty" features. Lighter hair, lighter eyes, clear skin, with the odd exception of Scout and Sophie, who both have black hair like my father, which it seems the rest of us should have as well. Wouldn't it be something if our bitch of a mother was making our father raise a family that mostly wasn't even his own? We are all physically capable, and it's to be expected when a person is raised across the street from their own personal Training Center.

I find it especially insulting that my parents only sought out orphans that "Look like the rest of you, so there are less questions being asked." It was annoying as fuck, hearing them talk about how some of these pieces of shit really weren't that bad, that it was a shame they didn't look the part, all while my siblings and I stood by and waited for them to just decide if we were going to have to clear out yet another storage room for people that should have been staying on the streets where they belong.

But that's life, and I am keeping my mouth shut just until I can leave. Then I am free.

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listen up: like wild flowers (speaking)
get the picture: faint blush (emphasis)
this just in: drifting (headers)
the vast majority: vigna angularis (main)
voices in my head: in an instant (hearing)

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table by zoe