amberly fabre {d2} finished - cb

I don't remember when it happened. (That's a lie.) Or I choose not to remember. Or maybe I actually can't because my mind has tried so hard to block everything out that one day I woke up and it decided to do just that. There aren't any images to pair with what I have. All I have is darkness and the way my hands felt pressed against my eyes and loud noises and singing a song underneath my breath to drown everything out. I don't remember seeing it happen because I didn't see it - Heddy did. I just heard it.

I heard it all.

("Stay here."

"Don't leave me!"

"I'll never leave you. Never, I promise.")

I remember that the dumpster smelt terrible. My shoes were ruined and they smelt like gasoline. Silly little things that little girls remember, things they think are important and if they go pear-shaped their whole world is ruined for a moment or two. I remember that there was an awful lot of shouting and that when I heard the first big bang it was like my world really had exploded. After that I just sat there clutching myself, huddled over in the dark, singing a tune they taught us at school that sung of how great the Capitol were and how Peacekeepers keep us all safe. (How ironic, singing a song about our great protectors when they were nowhere to be seen.) It wasn't the words that kept me sane but the tune - humming it always kept me calm. And it wasn't the Peacekeepers that kept me safe, that was my sister.

And then, suddenly, it was over.

"They had to go, Amber; they had to go, and it might be a long time before we ever see them again."

It took me a while to realise that 'a long time' meant never again.