hebe bellamy {d9} fin

You are black, you are blue. You are white, you are you. The bedraggled blonde hair that grows lifelessly from your scalp is cold. The wind sweeps it across your face, obstructing your view of the things you love the most. It stops your face from being seen - your blue eyes remain unseen and your elegant face is locked out of society. The key: thrown down a strain for someone less fortune to find and treasure for as long as they live.

Your shell is flaky. Scarred and battered by what life throws at you. You put on a brave face and hope that it disguises everything and draws the focus to your innocent face. Your build is average and so is your height. You aren't a towering weeping willow, nor a tiny and fragile bonsai tree. You are the tree that is in the forest, uniform and ordinary.

Yet the tree that resides with a thousand of others looking exactly the same is different. your mind runs around in circles upon meeting someone new. The moment you lay your eyes on them, words explode into your head. Whether they be good or bad, you keep them to yourself. If you let your opinions escape you, they will form their own opinions. 

You've an exceptional ability to play things to your own advantage. It's like your brain developed as a faster rate, allowing you to overlook the unimportant factors and see clearly the things that you need to know. How it came to you remains a mystery. The rest of your family are not gifted like you are. Around them, you feel isolated and alone.

You hate feeling alone because you like to be in the spotlight. The idea that everyone is watching you is comforting. You fail to understand how people can feel anxious and scared. "Attention-seeking" is a phrase you are only too familiar with, for it's aimed towards you on a day to day basis. You suck it up. You don't like to hear negativity towards you, but a reaction will cause a chain. And you have the self respect to know that isn't how you want attention.

With your strategic nature comes your love for things to have an order. Everything has to be done with some sort of system; be it eating your dinner or knitting a jumper. Knowing that everything has a certain way to be done is good for you - you can follow that and realise your mistakes and improve upon that. It all started when you were too busy tidying the classroom and didn't realise the teacher wanted you sat on the carpet in 5, 4, 3, 2 -. You knew that you had to do things quicker, but with the same quality in order to achieve.

Your father is nowhere to be seen. Not a single pair of eyes has been laid onto him for over three years. What happened to him is unknown. You hope that he didn't do anything bad, yet you hope he stood up for what he believed in. Either way, life without him has been different. You've noticed how your mother relies on you to do what he used to. You are your sister's shoulder to cry on and you are the person who has to come back with a small wage. To think that you are half the person he is/was is an honour. You just hope they think that.

You like to roam around and collect various pieces of useless rubbish. Flower-pressing is something you enjoy. You like to watch the plant be preserved between pages and left there to wilt and slowly have it's life sucked out of it. But what is left is something beautiful, something worth the loss of a once precious life. You also like to collect coins and badges. You keep them tucked carefully away in a small box in your top drawer of your stale bed-side table. They'll always be there, even when the people you love the most won't be. That's why the "rubbish" you collect is so precious.