Esther Foris :||: D7 :||: FIN

grim. Capitol Resident 1,081 POSTS last seen Sept 30, 2020 18:45:26 GMT -5	Esther Foris :\|\|: D7 :\|\|: FIN Mar 26, 2015 14:00:36 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by grim. on Mar 26, 2015 14:00:36 GMT -5 ~~Fifteen~~Sixteen\|District Seven\|Female FC: Gracie Van Gastel Code: Odair
	Last Edit: Aug 12, 2015 22:37:03 GMT -5 by grim. where my demons hide.

grim.
Capitol Resident

1,081 POSTS
last seen Sept 30, 2020 18:45:26 GMT -5

Esther Foris :||: D7 :||: FIN Mar 26, 2015 14:28:25 GMT -5

Quote

Post by grim. on Mar 26, 2015 14:28:25 GMT -5

    Isn't it funny? The way age changes appearances so drastically. My hips were becoming wider, my chest larger, my legs longer. Everything was growing, but still she was better then me. Hell even Rowan had an obsession with that pathetic bitch. Of course she had always been there for me, made me feel protected when Rowan hadn't. But that didn't change that fact that I was better then her, she meant nothing to me. Hell, anyone could take her place, she was simply disposable. Soon she wouldn't be able to stomach me anyhow, like I said I was changing. My hair was burnt chestnut, cascading down my spine, ending just before my shoulder blades. My skin was a pale olive, still young and youthful, like an unpainted canvass. My eyes were a murky green. Green, like the grass after a heavy rainfall. My lips were a stained peach, cracked and dry. My face was met with a few large beauty marks. None of which I would consider to be freckles, but they mimicked that quality. My nose was small and pointed, sharp like the thorns on a rose bush. I didn't much like the look of my protruding chin but I lived with it. It was rather square, a bit to masculine for my taste.

    I like to say I carry myself rather firm. I walk proud and unafraid, such a drastic change from what I used to be. Raised so strict, so captured. I was afraid to look someone in the eye, in case of conflict. I was afraid to stand tall because I didn't want to risk falling. My brother had kept me so sheltered, cast away never to socialize with any threatening being. Though, it was almost to much to ask for a person who was no longer a threat. It was with age that I grew my feathers. I grew my feathers and I began to soar. I look fear in the eye and say "fuck you". Because there was nothing to be afraid of. The world couldn't hurt me, so my manor-isms have changed with me. No more timid Renee, no I was a fighter, just like mom. I didn't cower away like Rowan, always so focused on his next sexual partner. Always so drowned in his appearance. I loved him unconditionally, but he had to understand that there was no room for weakness. The injured never survive. He was still mad at our parents, but they did what they had to, and they did it with strength. Sure our father left us, but who could blame him? Its not like we were a ray of sunshine to look after. But neither were most children.

--

    It was pathetic, the old me. I was so afraid of everything, so afraid to cause trouble. Hell, I am trouble now. There was nothing more that I loved to do then make someones day horrible. You may think I sound cruel, but I'm just a girl trying to have a little fun. I was a rather large influence on us lumber kids. I mean the ones that I had grown up with since I can remember. All of us kids were rather close, raised together because our parents were co-workers. I loved and cared for all of them, would protect most of them with my life. But Sapphire was always the issue. She thought just because she was older, that she had some sort of authority over me. Ha, she can take her little dumb blonde head somewhere fuckin else. Cause I was done listening to all of the praise she got. I mean, she was half the women I was, I don't give a damn about age. Although I will admit, I do care for her, but she would have to find me dead before I ever uttered those words out loud.

    I envied my mother, she found a way out of this shit hole. Probably out wandering the forests, listening to the birds, and watching the creeks flow. It sounded so much better then sitting behind these fences. Listening to the buzz of a saw, and the crash of a fallen tree. I wondered what was out there, was it really as scary as the Capitol told us? And who cares if it is? I'm not afraid of a few creepy crawlies. My years of running through the fields, and tumbling about with my brother were over. There was no more time to play, life is much more serious now. And I understand this, possibly even better then some of the older kids.

My love for our rambunctious bunch of hellions, was tremendous. They all had a place in my heart, they all deserved better then what they got, better then what we got. Even Sapphire deserved better, as much as I hate to admit it. Some of those kids have no idea of the hardships ahead of us, life wasn't going to spare us the time to frolic. Deception was our only salvation. I would do what I had to, to keep the others safe, no matter what Rowan says. He doesn't own me, I have the right to fight for us, even if he is to much of a cowardice bastard to do it himself. Sometimes he could be so controlling, and I was tired of it. It has been a long while since he has had any say in what I do. And I could tell it was getting to him. My rebellious nature was eating him from the inside out, and though I hated to see him angry, it was what i had to do, to prove that I was just as valuable as any of them.

--

    Rowan and I were left without a father, since I was born. He stuck around to create me, and then ran. I don't blame him, I'm sure I was a frightening site. I like to make myself believe that I was the reason that he left, though, I'm sure there is a much more logical reason. Because of our lack of having two parents, our mother was forced to work rather hard. Luckily she found herself a job at a rather wealthy logging company. Her friends were the owners, so they paid us rather generously. Same with Rowan, when he began work there. Our family did great when it came to food and money, perhaps leaving a bit to much time on my brothers hands. My mother practically ignored us, always so flooded with over shifts and such. I think working was her way of forgetting our father. Well I was lucky enough not to have ant memories to forget. Hell, there wasn't really much use in me trying to remember either.

It wasn't until I turned twelve, that I realized life was just a big joke. There were no winners, or losers, just those that are strong, will survive. Not win, but survive. I was done being afraid of everyone, no being afraid of him. He had no control over me any longer, his strength has finally met its match. Now a days our life's consisted of so much hatred for the world around us. But I didn't blame the world for what we were forced to endure. I didn't blame anyone, it was just the card we were dealt, there was no bad karma. Hell, I didn't believe in any almighty god. If there was one, then we sure as hell wouldn't be living like this, I don't mean district seven. I mean he would terminate the whole idea of our world. The sacrifice of twenty-four children annually. No good god, would let something like that happen.

She was the only reason I felt threatened. Sapphire was so ridiculously conceded, so translucent. Her whole ego was fake, it disgusted me. I knew I was so much better then her, but still everyone looked up to her like a leader. It was her that brought us together, but I know she will be our downfall. I know that I would do much better at keeping us together. I can feel it in my core that she is the reason for our parents disappearance. They all either died, or ran off somewhere in the forest. Her father was helping the rebels, and apparently so were all the rest of our parents. I think Sapphire knew, I think that this was all something that she had planned. How could she be so ignorant, her father must of told her. And now all of us were stranded, no money, no family to call our own. I guess I was lucky enough to keep my brother, but he was all I had left. I found myself walking through the doors of a dreary orphanage. Is this what our life's will resort to. This was HER fault. FUCK HER, AND FUCK THIS ORPHANAGE! I wanted nothing to do with this. I wanted to leave this hell hole. And just to make it that much more appealing, a bunch of dirty children were sitting at our feet, looking at us with distaste. I give nothing but a hateful smirk, and stare all of them down. These little rodents better get their panties out of a knot, or I may just have an issue fitting in...

Last Edit: Aug 12, 2015 22:36:30 GMT -5 by grim.

where my demons hide.

grim. Capitol Resident 1,081 POSTS last seen Sept 30, 2020 18:45:26 GMT -5	Esther Foris :\|\|: D7 :\|\|: FIN Mar 28, 2015 21:04:57 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by grim. on Mar 28, 2015 21:04:57 GMT -5 fin.
	where my demons hide.

grim. Capitol Resident 1,081 POSTS last seen Sept 30, 2020 18:45:26 GMT -5	Esther Foris :\|\|: D7 :\|\|: FIN Mar 31, 2015 11:56:20 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by grim. on Mar 31, 2015 11:56:20 GMT -5 bump <3
	where my demons hide.

grim. Capitol Resident 1,081 POSTS last seen Sept 30, 2020 18:45:26 GMT -5	Esther Foris :\|\|: D7 :\|\|: FIN Apr 3, 2015 10:25:38 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by grim. on Apr 3, 2015 10:25:38 GMT -5 bump again?
	where my demons hide.

admin kay Administrator 9,454 POSTS Pronouns: She/Her last seen Apr 30, 2024 15:13:12 GMT -5 cameron stood in line for an hour for a stupid ride for me <3 best <3	Esther Foris :\|\|: D7 :\|\|: FIN Apr 4, 2015 12:22:52 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by admin kay on Apr 4, 2015 12:22:52 GMT -5 She's so cynical already </3 ACCEPTED!
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