Hands, Be Still [Tom]

The threads that held Riordan together were tearing, fraying, and breaking. The sound of the wind wasn't there anymore. Everything that was keeping him sane was going to be gone in a matter of minutes. Lub Dub Lub Dub Lub Dub. His heart was pounding against his chest like it was suddenly going to burst out of his chest. The threads holding him together were holding him together for as long they could. Riordan was already on his way into the rather large building that stood before the rest of the district. Time felt like it was standing still. His mind stuck completely in his own thoughts, but there was only one thought. Jeq!

Riordan has been here before. The horrible walls of the college. The way the walls seemed to decay in front of him as he reached closer and closer to Jeq. The item in his pocket fumbling around like it was weightless. His eyes was watching the door carefully. The other side of the door was occupied already as Rio reached the last few steps. The guards of the room pushing him off to the side like he was nothing but a worthless peasant in their eyes. The guards seemed to not care about the tragedy that was probably going to happen in a few minutes. It felt like ages waiting to go in, but really it was only a few minutes that had went by. The doors opened and a family came out. Riordan watched them and wondered who they all were.

Once the family who he was now going to assume was her family. A note was put into his mind to remind himself to look for them after Jeq left for the capitol. The doors were open and the guards pushed Riordan into the last place he ever wanted to be. This room had been the room he said goodbye to too many of his friends. His hand went into his pocket and felt the item that laid in it. His heart was zooming already. Lub Dub Lub Dub Lub Dub. His eyes scanned the room for her figure. She was in the room on the floor. Riordan could see the small wetness coming from her eyes. In a moment, Riordan was there beside her. Riordan just watched her, but that's all he could do. His voice felt like it had vanished from the air. He tried to speak multiple times, but on the last try all he could get out was, "Jeq..." With that silent word, Riordan pulled Jeq into a hug and held her tightly, not wanting to let her go.

The tearing had only begun and it felt already like Riordan was holding on by a few strings. The strings that have to carry the most weight of all the grieving and horrors Riordan had to endure over her lifetime. All Riordan could hear was his heartbeat which felt like it was popping inside of him. Jequirity wrapped her arms back around him, but it wasn't enough for Riordan to really tell her what he wants to tell her. She deserved to know how he felt. His eyes were on her the entire time as she was pulling away. The tears were just as worse as they were before and that made Riordan feel terrible.

Riordan finally felt his own tears falling down his face. The tears leaving behind some liquid as it traveled slowly down his worn down face. The life he knew was going to be flipped upside down again because of one girl. One girl who has effected his life just as much as the other two have. This was the first time since the day that Navy and Theo died that Riordan had full out broke down into tears. The spot on the seat was clear for right now, but now, now Riordan had to add a name, Jequirity Eckhart. If she didn't make it back, Riordan might be worse off than he was before Jeq came into his life. Rio was falling apart already. It felt as if he was being torn in half. One half would be with Jequirity and the other would be in his home in District six.

Jequirity tried to wipe her eyes away, but it didn't stop her tears. It just moved them away for a bit. Riordan's legs finally allowed himself to sit on the bench next to her. His eyes scanning her to the best of his abilities. His own hands having minds of their own finally wipe away the tears. Riordan reached over and grabbed her hand. She was the first person that he truly was going to get to hold. Riordan finally spoke what he wanted to say, "W-Why did it have to be you... I-I.... am in love with you... want you to stay with me forever... But Riordan couldn't finish his sentence. He couldn't even tell her that. It'd just make it harder for the both of them if he did.

The look on her face showed that she was fearful and Riordan could tell. She was always so happy in Tempus, but here and now, she was scared. There was no happy smiles to go around. There was nothing to be laughing about. Riordan composed himself finally, running a hand through his own hair. He spoke again, "Jeq... I am not the best with words and what not, but... I just wanted to give you this. It's something special to me and I-It reminds me of you... On stage... playing instruments.. You were flying and it was absolutely the greatest and most beautiful thing I have seen. You were flying Jeq... I will miss the quiet nights of you playing in Tempus... Just keep flying Jeq..." The words weren't as confident as Riordan thought they would be. His hand reached into his pocket, pulling out the small item. He placed it in her palm. "I-I wanted you to have something to remember me by Jeq... Something to remember everybody waiting in District six for you. You..You have to come back Jequirity..." said Riordan in a calming voice. Riordan let himself finally take a breath that he seemed to have been holding in. You have to come back... please Jequirity...

The silent thank you that Jequirity gave to Riordan made him wince just a little bit. Just a tiny bit. His eyes watched her as his heart pounded. The situation was calling for the need to tell her, but he bite his lip to keep himself silent. It'd just hurt more later if I told... Silence is the key to Jequirity. That's all she seemed to know. Silence. Silence was going to be her downfall and Riordan could see it now. No allies. No friends to help her live. It would be herself against the world. Riordan quickly grabbed her hand again. His eyes already filling with tears again.

His voice was broken, "I...I Dunno what I am going to do Jeq. How am I supposed to sit back and watch you fight for your life while I am here doing nothing... I wish I was going with you. I should have volunteered... I should have done something Jeq... I dunno how I am going to live..." Riordan felt the tears spring to life as he stopped. His chest felt like it was empty. A lump forming in his throat that would not go down. His eyes felt swollen from all the tears that had come down. His mouth felt dry at the same time, which Riordan found odd, but didn't question it. Riordan looked up a bit and was watching Jequirity, his hand still holding on tightly to hers. The last little bit of comfort he'd get to give her. The last little bit to show his true feelings to her. He had to tell her. He had to tell her.

Just tell her Riordan. I promise it won't hurt. TELL HER! Riordan opened his mouth to speak, but no. It was wrong. Riordan was fighting himself on telling her. His insides were a battle zone. His brain was firing bullets at his heart, but his heart kept pushing back the brain. The war was continuing up through his own mouth. His head and heart were just as equally strong. The silence was thick, but it's what needed to be here with them. A silence that could be cut through with a knife, but Rio didn't want to cut it, not yet.