farah caine. d1 }} fin

d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi Advertiser 1,828 POSTS Pronouns: She/Her last seen Apr 6, 2024 0:45:24 GMT -5 basically miss america	farah caine. d1 }} fin May 23, 2016 23:39:06 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi on May 23, 2016 23:39:06 GMT -5 farah caine. district one. twenty. disgraced career. tanya dziahileva
	Last Edit: May 27, 2016 13:33:48 GMT -5 by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi ❝ moon dust in your hair, stars in your eyes ❞

d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi
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basically miss america

farah caine. d1 }} fin May 23, 2016 23:42:30 GMT -5

Quote

Post by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi on May 23, 2016 23:42:30 GMT -5

Failure.

A word that would never cross my lips but is now carved into my heart. Countless hours all wasted. My family put to shame. When you're someones only hope you can't help but feel like shit.

My life was laid out for me. I was told what to do and I listened without hesitation. And I loved it. Wake up at dawn, asleep by ten. Strict diet. Every free hour spent training. No distractions. I had it all. My parents set rules for me for a reason, I knew that. following them wasn't a problem. I was meant to bring a name for this family. Something for people to remember us by. I was meant to win. It's the only thing I ever dreamed of. The only thing I ever wanted. All the hours put in, all the rules. They were meant to pay off, they were going to pay off, I had no doubts. I had everything in life. I was happy. I didn't need anything else.At least that's what I thought.

At least that's what I thought until I met him.

Last Edit: May 26, 2016 19:40:49 GMT -5 by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi

❝ moon dust in your hair, stars in your eyes ❞

d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi
Advertiser

1,828 POSTS

Pronouns: She/Her
last seen Apr 6, 2024 0:45:24 GMT -5

basically miss america

farah caine. d1 }} fin May 26, 2016 20:03:11 GMT -5

Quote

Post by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi on May 26, 2016 20:03:11 GMT -5

Disgrace.

A word that became branded on my forehead ever since that moment, ever since I threw everything that I had ever worked for away. Ever since I let it slip through my fingers.

No distractions. I always told myself no distractions. And I didn't need any, training took up my life, it's all I had time for. It was all I was willing to make time for until I met him. I never looked around, I was always focused on what I was doing. But for some reason, one day I felt eyes on me. Not the ones I normally felt either, not people staring in awe or in jealousy, but something different. I knew that I shouldn't have, but I looked up before I could stop myself. And our eyes met, and the tips of my fingers started to tingle, and my heart was beating faster. And I was feeling things I din't know that I was capable of. I could almost swear that everyone was able.to hear my heart pound. So I quickly looked down, hoping to dispel the boy from my mind. Hoping to never find him again. But I didn't have to find him.

Because he found me.

I tried to stay away. I fought every good feeling whenever we were together. And for the girl that was supposed to have the most self control, I had none when I was with him. A rush would fill my body whenever I would see him. My heart would race when he ran his fingers through my long blonde hair, and when he would delicately trace my square jaw. And my whole body would go numb when we kissed, his lips fitting perfectly into my uneven ones.

I knew how wrong it was, how bad it could end. But I didn't care, it felt so right. I started taking time off to spend with him. Cutting my hours training in half. I knew how dangerous it would be if my parents found out, but in the moment I felt invincible. I would sneak out past my curfew, and somehow manage to sneak back in. I was exhausted, but the thought of seeing him gave me a rush of energy. Every rule I had ever set for myself was gone. I thought I had everything before I met him, but I didn't. I became the girl I hated.

I became the girl who needed a distraction.

Last Edit: May 27, 2016 12:57:13 GMT -5 by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi

❝ moon dust in your hair, stars in your eyes ❞

d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi
Advertiser

1,828 POSTS

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last seen Apr 6, 2024 0:45:24 GMT -5

basically miss america

farah caine. d1 }} fin May 27, 2016 13:16:41 GMT -5

Quote

Post by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi on May 27, 2016 13:16:41 GMT -5

Disappointment.

A word that my parents never used but is now all they see when they look at me.

I thought I knew what love felt like. I thought that he had made me fall in love, something I didn't know that I was capable of. I felt alive. I always thought that I was, but I didn't really know the meaning of it until I met him. I still knew what I wanted though, what my goal was. And even though I was skipping and slacking off it was still something I dreamed of. So I set a rule. There was one day a year. One day he couldn't speak to me, one day where he couldn't even look at me. And he listened. Once. And then he didn't.

And it cost me everything.

I was focused, I was certain. It was my last reaping, and I was ready. If my name wasn't called I was ready to volunteer. I had worked my whole life for this, and nothing would get i my way. Nothing except for him. I saw flashes of movement from the corner of my eye. I knew it was him without even looking, his gaze was just as piercing as the day we met. I stared forward, nothing would distract me today, I wouldn't allow it. But the movements became more frantic and I caved. My eyes flashed towards him trying to make out the words he was mouthing at me, and in that split second I had lost my opportunity. Someone had stepped up, and everything I had ever worked for was gone. Everything.

All gone in the blink of an eye.

Rage crashed over me in waves, and I saw the look in my parents eyes. I was a failure. I'm surprised my parents even took me home. They wouldn't speak to me, wouldn't look at me. It took them months before they even acknowledged that I still existed. I always knew that the rules were there for a reason, to help me achieve greatness. But I let a distraction in even though I knew better. My life became pointless, a waste. I never spoke to him again. As quickly as I let him in is as quickly as I shut him out. They say to forgive and forget. But I can certainly not forgive.

And I will never forget.

Last Edit: May 27, 2016 13:32:08 GMT -5 by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi

❝ moon dust in your hair, stars in your eyes ❞

d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi Advertiser 1,828 POSTS Pronouns: She/Her last seen Apr 6, 2024 0:45:24 GMT -5 basically miss america	farah caine. d1 }} fin May 27, 2016 13:33:22 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi on May 27, 2016 13:33:22 GMT -5 doneeeeeee c:
	❝ moon dust in your hair, stars in your eyes ❞

ghosty Mentor 2,134 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Dec 5, 2022 12:52:02 GMT -5	farah caine. d1 }} fin May 27, 2016 13:51:17 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ghosty on May 27, 2016 13:51:17 GMT -5 <3 <3 amazing kari amazing :fire:
	Last Edit: May 27, 2016 13:52:05 GMT -5 by ghosty