{Loneliness} is but a current state of being {day8/one-shot}

I didn’t even wait to watch my weapon melt, casting it aside as her body fell to the ground as the blood poured from yet another deep cut in her head. What have I done? The other boy from the other day, I had killed him too but something hadn’t been right about it. But this girl had stood in front of me so vividly, so real, I couldn’t explain this kill away.

It had to happen, though, didn’t it? I knew that the longer I lived, the more blood would be on my hands, but I never expected it to happen like this. I was weak, held up and saved by my allies, and I had crawled around the arena; I should have died the moment Fallon’s eyes no longer held any light. Yet somewhere within me was the Rhodes that Harbinger and Crusader had tapped into later into their Games. Does this change me?-- but I had already been changed, hadn’t I?

I still wanted to rip off my skin the skin of a murderer, the tingle down my spine assuredly permanent. Every other dead body I had seen, I didn’t have the same feeling clouding my mind and body. I couldn’t even look at her again nor go through her belongings for things to take with me. It felt wrong, inhuman also. “I have what I need,” I whispered to myself before pulling out my little pocket whale. “Isn’t that right, Crusader? After all, you brought me a gift.” My finger stroked the top of the whale and it wiggled in the palm of my hand.

Making my way back to the bag of crayons I had left behind, I dug out the few crayons I had taken to decide what I should draw. What do I--? I flipped my bag upside down so all of the contents fell before me. My priorities started to fall into place as my eyes scanned and lingered over certain items. I eat the last of my food source and washed it down with Sage’s water jug, the taste of pure water welcome on my taste buds and down my throat. Once my belly felt a little fuller, I knew I had to tend to my wounds. There weren’t many but I knew enough first aid to know if I didn’t treat them soon, I might as well have killed myself. I drew myself a kit that held supplies with one of the crayons I had picked up from the bag. The kit in front of me was more than I could have wanted with colorful bandages and needles and thread. I didn’t waste time as I used those supplies to patch myself up.

With another crayon from the bag, I drew a set of lotus blossoms like the ones I used to dream about. Their sharp edges were many, but together they looked beautiful. Finally, I drew whatever I could on myself am I allowed to draw more than one? It felt particularly silly drawing on my head but the protective covering over my head started to feel worth it. My legs were soon covered—one each—and my back had a plate. But once I used a crayon to draw something on my chest like I had a few days ago, nothing solidified and I looked silly with wax all over my chest. I took a look at my arm and tried it, just to test my theory, but found it did the same.

[to be continued]


[Tamron does F/A on self for -3]
[Tamron eats 1 bundle of edible plants]
[Tamron drinks from shamrock water jug]
[Tamron discards shamrock water jug]
[Tamron uses 5 ft of canary bandages for -1]
[Tamron uses 1 bundle of medicinal plants for -2]
[Tamron picks up outer space crayon, bittersweet, caribbean green, and beaver crayon]
[Tamron uses Caribbean green crayon to draw medkit]
[Tamron uses 1 N/T for -5]
[Tamron draws helmet with outer space crayon]
[Tamron draws lotus flowers (throwing knives) with bittersweet crayon]
[Tamron draws shin guards with beaver crayon]
[Tamron discards firewood]