You Are Lost {Lorenza's Funeral} {Cameo}

Benito Aita

People try to tell me that Lorenza’s death is not my fault. Sure, it may not have happened as directly related to me as Angelo’s death did, but I still could have prevented it. I could have volunteered in place of the male tribute and protected her instead of letting her die. I didn’t, though, and now, my sister was dead. As an only child now, I knew I had to be there for my parents. They’d lost two children in less than five years, and there was nothing I could do about it. Death can’t be undone.

I remember watching Lorenza’s body crash to the ground all too clearly. As the District Seven boy’s weapon stabbed into her chest, she fell, unmoving. She was gone, and I immediately ran from the room when it happened, away from the screen that was broadcasting it to me. I tore away, rushing outside without bothering to put my shoes on. Slamming the door behind me, I bolted down the street and didn’t stop, even with my mother shouting after me to come back.

Unsure of how long I’d been running for, I eventually stopped when I got to the fence that blocked us from the outside world. I didn’t cross it, knowing that would just get me into more trouble. Besides, it was an electrified barrier that would not be the most enjoyable thing to go through. Therefore, I walked back to the center of town and took a seat on a bench, burying my head in my hands. Tears started streaming down my face. Usually, I’m not too emotional of a person, but the loss of a loved one could change that in anybody.

After sitting on the bench in tears for quite a while, I eventually wiped the wetness away from my face and made my way back to my house. When I got there, I went inside, only glancing briefly at my parents before going up to my bedroom. Closing my door behind me, I then collapsed on my bed. I didn’t do much in the days that followed. Mourning Lorenza’s death was all that really occurred, and when the day of her funeral came along, that certainly didn’t change.

I had rose from my bed that morning and gotten dressed into what my mother had laid out for me. Normally, I would choose my own clothing, but I certainly wouldn’t have been in the right state of mind to do so for Lorenza’s funeral. It just wouldn’t be something I could handle mentally. I’d been in such a rough state since the day of her death that it was impossible to think about it without getting extremely sad or full of rage.

When it finally came time for the funeral itself, I knew I had to go. I hadn’t been allowed to go to Angelo’s funeral, but I knew I had to go to Lorenza’s. There was no way I was going to skip out on it. Arriving at the location of the funeral, my body was shaking, but I couldn’t be sure as to why. My mother had her arm around my shoulders, trying to comfort me. Normally, in most circumstances, I would have pushed her off of me. I needed to reassurance this time, though, so I let her do as she wished.

At the funeral, I saw quite a few people that I recognized. There was Renaissance, who was Lorenza’s girlfriend. There was also Luanna, who was Lorenza’s best friend since childhood. I could only imagine that they were going through the same sort of feelings as I was. They could have volunteered in her place, but didn’t. Did they feel guilt for that? Was I mad at them for not volunteering? I wasn’t quite sure.

People spoke their final words to Lorenza, and I did the same. I apologized to her for not saving her. I told her how she deserved to be here, alive and well, not lying in a coffin. A single tear went down my cheek and I brushed it away before I said my final goodbye, stepping away from her lifeless body.

Before anyone left, there was time for me to approach those I wanted to speak to. I parted from my family and went over to Renaissance. If anyone felt in a similar way to my family, it was likely her. I looked her in the eyes when I spoke. Although, I wasn’t even sure if the look I gave her was one of concern or one of anger. Perhaps it was both.

“Renaissance, are you doing alright?”