bibi baca {nine} cbd3, fin

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I like staring out and just thinking. A fresh breath of air, and I count back to the start.


18—A hitchhiker heart.

17—A feeling of togetherness, albeit in parting and goodbyes.

16—Done deeds and a mutual agreement. They wanted a divorce, and they got a divorce.

15—I understood how family can be as fragile as a pane of glass and how we all have the power to break it.

14—I first saw him with her and keeping my mouth shut was the hardest crime to commit.

13—Vows put to the test. Shouts and swears, slammed doors. Two girls housing a storm of anger and frustration. Two parents becoming an unnatural disaster.

12—A father who seemed like a workaholic and a mother who gave too much love.

11—A pivotal moment; it was like someone heard what we didn't want and wanted havoc to ensue.

10—I pointed out constellations to my sister and we shared our secrets and fears.

9—The dog died.

8—Things were good. A new house, my own room and a habit of collecting every piece of crap I could find.

7—I fit into my mother's heels and danced until the sun rose. Worries or cares were the stuff of nightmares and not reality.

6—A sister came along. I promised to be the best big sister anyone could ask for. I don't break promises.

5—A passion for the arts where the arts couldn't be found. Little coin, but an even bigger passion.

4—I understood the meaning of family.

3—Deeply falling in love with one another. Nobody could catch them when they slipped.

2—Trial and error. Dreams were as big as anything and I was loved, held, hugged and part of something special.

1—Born into the loving arms of two strangers; I got his sceptical eyes and her heart of a face.


It sounds better that way when I think of it that way. The past becomes the present and the present becomes more distant. If I could go back, I'm not sure I would. All things happen for a reason, I'm just waiting to find out what that reason is.