kristina saade {d12} cb, fin

I sold my birthday to my mother for some money a few years ago. It wasn't much, but basically I pissed it up the wall in no time at all, and if I'm being honest, selling my birthday might actually be the biggest regret of my life. I wake up and don't get a hot drink in the morning to celebrate, no cards, no presents, no parties, nothing—all because I wanted a miniature figurine of Glamour Kinkade from the market. Yeah, not my finest hour.

I spend a lot of my time in town, mostly at the allotment. I went there this morning and was proper ticked off. Whoever has been looking after those runners has absolutely fucked them... I did my best to try and save them but plucking weeds can only do so much when the runners are dead already. Poor sods. I would've given them a funeral if they weren't already buried to their necks in stray cat piss. Those runners could've been some little old blind lady's dinner.

Speaking of little old blind ladies, I've been looking after June down the road. She's been lonely since her husband died and I thought it would feel good to do something kind. So basically, I'm doing kind things selfishly because I want to feel good about it. Feeling good about it isn't even the best part, see, because June feeds me all sorts when I'm down there. Mashed potatoes, sausages, cabbages, rabbit—fuck knows where she gets it all from. But basically I have dinner with June and then go back home and have another dinner from mum.

Well, I used to. Mum found out I was having double dinners and she said I was snuffling for slops. She can be a right mare sometimes. She calls me ugly because of my big nose, does she not realise I got it from her?