jackal le roux || one || fin

shrimp Retired Staff 1,953 POSTS Pronouns: he/his last seen Oct 19, 2020 18:16:41 GMT -5	jackal le roux \|\| one \|\| fin Sept 21, 2019 23:48:18 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by shrimp on Sept 21, 2019 23:48:18 GMT -5 Jack, Jackie — no. You call me Jackal, 'till you earn better. jackal le roux district one sixteen he/him career
	Last Edit: Sept 23, 2019 0:27:47 GMT -5 by shrimp

shrimp
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Pronouns: he/his
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jackal le roux || one || fin Sept 23, 2019 0:24:53 GMT -5

Quote

Post by shrimp on Sept 23, 2019 0:24:53 GMT -5

No, my father says, sharp and straight.
Le Roux men are never ordinary.

He tousles my rotted-wheat hair. His hands are calloused, his grip too rough. Each scar counts a day in service, a knight's promise: to do better -- be, better.

When will mine will turn the same? How many moons will wax and wane?

The sun rises and I am already gone, spirited towards the end of the line. There, we practice our form until shadows streak towards the other side of the mountain; we kick, we scream, we train for the glory of a revolution, of our revolution, our children's revolution. Our children's children. We scrabble and scrape, claws striking the earth. My first lesson was to fight with my hands, the tools I was born with, the tools I have when all else fails. Later, I learn to use my feet, to rotate my torso, to find their pressure points and

break.

They call me wild, unruly, sinew and tone where I should have built up more muscle, more armor. They call me unmanageable, unpredictable, unfair as I tackle them to the floor. I laugh. At the end of the day, the winner's one whose heart's still beating.

Father, to-the-point, falters. Never seems sure where to stand. I think it's our martyr's intuition; that fairness is what is most important. The rules, not the outcome. The battle, not the war.

I get it. I guess.

It seems more difficult to think about, these days. Sometimes I find it hard to compare a Le Roux to a Lumiere, or a Fray, or a Rose. When is the line drawn between monster and man? We've run so far apart we become muddled at the ends.

I watched those games. Even father doesn't like to watch them. They're too cruel, he'll say. But the media screens them at 3am, when the Capitolites have gone to sleep and the insomniacs lie in their beds, history floating by them like sheep in dreams. I crept downstairs when I was thirteen, watched the whole documentary with the volume the lowest it would go.

How many people let this happen? How many people reveled in torture? How many people closed their eyes and hoped someone else would solve their problems? How many people would give their lives, today, to stop it all?

It's hard to think about. And it doesn't matter. We fight when the other team has already won. We fight for respect when they don't know how to give it.

I stop thinking. I train next to traitors, and I laugh at their jokes, and I get help from them on homework, and they cry on my shoulder, and I don't pull my punches. I crack Jones' arm and I don't say sorry. I punch Monroe in the gut and I double down. I call them out for their piss poor technique, they call me names and I kick back. We go for ice cream and I cover Jones' cup, suggest extra sprinkles for Monroe 'cause he likes it crunchy (weird).

If you aren't with us, you are against us. If you are not a Le Roux, you are not to be trusted.

But when I lie on the rooftop and look at the stars, my fingers intertwining with his (long, unblemished, a pianist's gift), is that a surrender? When he looks into my golden eyes, and I don't feel malice, when I turn as red as tomatoes sitting in stew, is that conceit? I just know it's the only time when he doesn't tower over me, when I can kiss him without pressing my toes down against the earth.

Sometimes I feel like a wolf, dressed up proper. Keeping secrets. Am I just a hypocrite? Or am I just human? Or am I just both?

Only Fate knows. She'll never tell.

Last Edit: Sept 23, 2019 0:27:32 GMT -5 by shrimp

shrimp Retired Staff 1,953 POSTS Pronouns: he/his last seen Oct 19, 2020 18:16:41 GMT -5	jackal le roux \|\| one \|\| fin Sept 23, 2019 0:29:41 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by shrimp on Sept 23, 2019 0:29:41 GMT -5 ripred_bot_bot done

lance
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gay and chaotic? call it gayos

jackal le roux || one || fin Sept 23, 2019 0:38:15 GMT -5

Quote

Post by lance on Sept 23, 2019 0:38:15 GMT -5

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