the heaviest crown.— [abel/avriel | blitz]
Oct 16, 2021 2:17:40 GMT -5
Post by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ on Oct 16, 2021 2:17:40 GMT -5
a v r i e l .
"living in
a dark tower,
getting darker
by the hour."
Anxious.
I just want to eat. My head hurts from hunger and lack of sleep and all I want to do is fill one of those stupidly big plates in the dining hall twice and eat but Abel's blocking my path. My mouth twists downwards and I'm two seconds from pushing past him when I see his expression.
He needs someone to listen, and I'm the most available for that. Brushing him off now might make me regret it later. If he doesn't come back, I'll always be stuck wondering what he wanted from me in this moment, so I sigh and let him lead me away.
"What?" I ask, "I don't get what you mean." I glance back down the hall and then my fingers are on my wrist, spinning the combined friendship bracelets from my alliance round and round. "Ariel is and was my friend, how could I regret that? Yeah losing her fucking sucked, but it would have been worse to never have known her."
At least now I have her memory still in my head, I have that kindness of hers still breathing within me, reminding me how to love others. "Before meeting those three, I-"
I what? I don't know.
"I'm better because I knew them. I wouldn't trade that, it fucking hurts, but I wouldn't, the pain is worth it," I tell Abel. The answer is more confident than I feel but it's what he needs to hear from me right now.
"Don't let the arena kill your humanity, it already has your freedom."
I pull away, heading back towards the dining hall. I try to think about what the last thing I said to Ariel was but it's hard to remember. Did she know what her friendship meant to me? Or did she die lonely?
i don't want to think about that.