good things happen to people that are bad {fast & bi} day 1
Feb 26, 2021 18:38:17 GMT -5
Post by ᴥ on Feb 26, 2021 18:38:17 GMT -5
s a y l o r .
"you are weak
but not foolish
you have learned
how to die."
I'm exhausted and bloody and tired and lost. Worst of all, I'm alone. I've known my share of aches and pains but this is bone deep, all encompassing and overwhelming. Like I'm trapped in a sensory overload, lights flaring in time with my racing heart. My gait is confused, rabbit tracks trailing through the dust - crisscrossing and doubling back from time to time. I know I left the Bloodbath with Silk, but I lost her somewhere between the ringing in my ears.
I miss them. It's a strange thought that strikes like lightning. I want to call them friends but that's wrong, they're more like strangers that have become inseparable from the notion of safety. And while I'm sure that's delusional, it's no less comforting. Clinging to broken optimism isn't the worst way to spend the rest of my life.
Tears make this harsh wasteland seem softer, distorted around its blurry edges. The clouds kiss upturned mud as I rush to blink them away, stopping to survey my surroundings. I've not got the privilege of a clear head as I try to distinguish my allies footsteps from those that have grown claws.
Fridae's not in my line of sight, but she's here in my head telling me to do better.
So I catch my breath and I keep running.
And I hope that makes her proud.
I'm two seconds from lighting my lungs on fire when I find Eden, familiar faces draped across a rock and leaking ichor. The spear in my hands splits my face in two, the weight of the smile it's carved soon buried in Turner's shoulder. A moment too late, I realize what I'm doing and let my arms go limp, falling to my sides as my spear clatters onto the ground for the second time today.
(Is the wood durable?) I rush to pick it back up, busying myself with dusting off the hilt so that I needn't meet their eyes. "Sorry I-" Can't speak. Can't breathe. My grin strains the nose Sutton broke, a fresh wave of rust trying to pry its way between my lips. "I lost everyone in the chaos and I was so-"
Silence reigns as I take in the state of my allies and wonder, for the first time, if I even have the right to feel. I'm farthest from death and closest to breaking down, all tears and snot and bitter weakness. "I was scared." It slips out anyway. I've always had a selfish streak.
"I uh- I picked up a lot of great things." Like the clump of slightly dirtied bandages I hold out to them, desperate to make myself useful. To earn the right not to wake up with a slit stomach. "So I can... help."
This silver tongue tastes like charcoal.